to send dd to an out of catchment school

[Tunrasmus]

dd starts in year r in September in a school about 30 mins from us. this is because our local primary is awful, full of really rough kids. the area is pretty rough basically, but our house is a good size and we dont want to go smaller for more money. with respect of the school - i just don't want her there. all the mums stand outside smoking and when i went for the open day i saw that they give an award for attendance! expectations just seemed so low. i'm sending her to this really sweet little rural school instead. ive suddenly worried that the other mums might think i'm ridiculous? we had the 'introductory' day at school last week and some of the mums looked completely perplexed that we would travel half an hour to school! one even asked how we would do playdates or nights at the pub with other parents, with us being so far away .

On a practical level OP

• can you get there by public transport if your car breaks down?
• what will you do if you get delayed on the way to pick up your child? its there anyone that you will be able to call on to get them?
• what will you do if you are too unwell to drive? other dc are too unwell to get out of bed to take their sib to school?
• is there anything to keep you occupied while you are hanging round waiting for an ASC to finish / parents eve to start / DCs at school disco etc

These are all scenarios that happened to me while I had DC in different school

Lots of rural schools in my area have spaces; my chosen school is Ofsted outstanding and still has spaces even after taking children from 12 miles away.

I do find the attitudes on here a but confusing. Everyone on mumsnet always says you have to judge a school by visiting it and "getting a feel". The op has done this and doesn't like the feel, so has gone for an alternative. now she is getting flamed, both for not choosing her local school in the "rough" area and for not moving out of that area altogether.

Oh and it's also ridiculous of her to dismiss the local school as rough but perfectly rational and to be expected that every parent at the village school to dismiss her and her dc as from the wrong side of the tracks and avoid playdates etc on this basis.

Sure her local school might be fabulous but equally it may be one with a lot of social problems that with the best will in the world might not provide a very welcoming environment. As adults is fairly easy to live in a bubble and avoid people and situations that are intimidating, as children less so. The op is making choices based on wanting the best for her dc and is willing to put herself out to support this choice. even if it's not the choice I would make I say fair play to her, and fwiw I would drive 30 mins on occasion for a playdate if my dc was keen. I live in London and it can take that long to go not very far but I still do it.

The 30 miles was a typo , but actually if it's a 30 minute drive it could easily be 30 miles - depends on the route.

Being over-subscribed is very much considered a measure of how good a school is, as well as how much better than the local school it is perceived to be.

While I can understand how your op got people's back up, I can't criticise because I also rejected my local school with places. I did so, not so much because of snobby reasons, but because the playground language wasn't English. The school wasn't socially or ethnically diverse, and was full of mainly children from the estate, who mostly originated from one country. I didn't want my daughter to be left out.

We chose a further away school with a very mixed intake (also pretty deprived). The great thing about this school is that it has children from a variety of ethnic backgrounds, so there isn't one overriding group, and the playground language is English.

So it's ok for there to be a dominant language as long as it's English?

Really SuburbanRhonda? It isn't ok with you for someone to want their child to go to a school (presumably English is the teaching language) where the child can also understand what is going on in the playground? I'm sure I'm not the only person reading this who thinks they would have done the same.

suburban I think you misinterpreted my post: the school we chose has a very high proportion of EFL, with many not speaking English when they start. The difference is that English becomes the playground language as the children are from diverse backgrounds.

I make no apologies for not wanting my daughter to be left out in the playground because she doesn't speak a certain foreign language.

pico yes this is England, and the children are taught in English.

In case it is not clear: the majority of children at dd's school are not English, and English is not their mother tongue.

Suburban Or just as easily be 10 miles, as is my dc's school . I don't think being over subscribed would at all feature in my measure of how good a school is. Frankly i'd have my own criteria that i'll be looking for in a school, the fact its oversubscribed would means nothing, it could be oversubscribed for all the wrong reasons.

I did similar to what OP is doing years ago, the school outside our catchment that DC went to had spaces simply because they had a low birthrate in the area.

It isn't ok with you for someone to want their child to go to a school (presumably English is the teaching language) where the child can also understand what is going on in the playground?

My experience of having a child in a school with a high level of EAL children is that those children are able to speak both languages. I can't imagine a situation where they would go through school and pick up no English at all.

As far as English goes, why on earth wouldn't you want English to be the dominate language, this is England??

There's nothing wrong with wanting English to be the dominant language in an Engish-speaking school.

What's wrong is the assumption that children with EAL don't speak English at school and that therefore children with only one language won't understand or be understood in the playground.

suburban in my local school, the majority arrive not being able to speak English. While they do learn English in the classroom, their mother tongue is still the dominant playground language. As they are almost all from one country, and mostly have very poor English to begin with, this is understandable. The school also has a lot of movement, so even in the higher years there are lots of children with little English.

Suburban Your posts are very confusing and seem to contradict each other

So it's ok for there to be a dominant language as long as it's English

Interpreted as dissaproving.

but now
There's nothing wrong with wanting English to be the dominant language in an Engish-speaking school.

Which one is it?

The first one was a question to hibbledibble (you left out the question mark when you cut and pasted).

The second was my opinion.

Also, I'm not saying being oversubscribed is a valid criterion nor that it would be one I would use to make my decision. Just that people do use it as a measure of the desirability of the school.

Okay, i think we best leave this so as not to over derail OP's thread, i can't say your posts are making sense frankly.

We were not impressed by the village school where we live, so we went private with a 35 minute drive each way. We kept it up for 14 years and you just get used to it in the end. It was worth it to get a better education. I would have much preferred a traditional village school for my two but they don't exist round here. I have very happy memories of my own vilage school where we had 20 pupils, two classes and teachers + the vicar taking maths and french. Sad that I had a better state education than is available now.

Good call, nat.

I don't think I could make my point any clearer anyway

"

"I have very happy memories of my own vilage school where we had 20 pupils, two classes and teachers + the vicar taking maths and french."
Gosh- you must be even older than I am!

hibble

your local school sounds like mine.

it would be fine if it was more mixed.but it isn't.

rhonda you seem to be really struggling with the concept that a good school can have places. My nephews' school has about 15 kids max per class, one form entry. So plenty of room. There just aren't enough children around to fill that school, but it's s good school.

I know good schools have places. We have a space in Year 4 because a family has moved; we're rated good.

And re-reading the OP, she didn't say it was rated good. She said it was a "sweet, little rural school", which could mean anything. So perhaps it's no surprise it has spaces.

I think I and many other PP are worried she's making a big commitment to a long school run for the next seven years and from what she says, the school is pretty insular.

alot can change in seven years though.

promotions, more money meaning they can move to a similar size property nearer.

New head/staff at the local school that improve it meaning op might be happy to move her nearer or they might move to a completely different countries try who knows.

This school may or may not work out. that's true for everyone. All anyone can do is what they feel to be the right decision at the time for whatever reasons matter most to them.

i think often people are delusional about how bad a school can be just because for them.it worked out. If that were true there wouldn't still he pockets of people all over the country who can barely read or write and have no job prospects be case of such a poor education. no one can blame anyone for not wanting that for their children. It's all very well saying that supportive parents will ensure the child does well. but of those parents received a poor education then they may well not be in a position to support their children.

but MNETTERS seem to think they are some kind of pied piper who can lure higher achieving children into these schools and improve them. well not everyone wants to take that chance.

fwiw it sucks that it's even a problem it really does.