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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour shoving his garden waste into my garden

181 replies

Bluebell66 · 14/07/2015 21:48

There is a gap under the fence between me and my neighbour. It's his fence. He keeps pushing garden waste, clippings, clumps of dead grass etc, under the fence into my garden. I have tried blocking up the gap with bricks, and he just pushes them out the way. I can't talk to him as he's an aggressive bully. I know he's doing it on purpose. What can I do about it and AIBU to let it bother me?

OP posts:

CocktailQueen · 16/07/2015 13:06

Police, police, police. They will visit and hopefully scare him into being less of a tosser. And anyway, things are bad now so they won't make it worse. What a complete nob. You could also ask the police to check the his camera and why it's pointed at your house!

Love the idea of mousetraps :)

for you.

StayWithMe · 16/07/2015 13:08

Regarding the fence, why don't you get someone to 'plant' flags upright, in concrete along the bottom of the fence? I've a friend that did this to stop her dogs getting out and it's very sturdy. You can get small ones if you prefer. The razed wire might be a benefit to you as it will make it more difficult for him to throw the rubbish over your fence, once you've blocked the bottom of it.

EllieFAntspoo · 16/07/2015 13:08

Why do you continue to live there?

DoesItReallyMatter · 16/07/2015 13:08

OP, try not to worry about the bricks just try to concerntrate on arranging for something to be done to block off the gap at the bottom of the fence.

I know you shouldn't have to but I'm sure you will feel better when you do. dont get side tracked by worrying about missing bricks.

Please post those photos so we can advice you.

What did CAB say?

Tobiasfunke · 16/07/2015 13:19

I agree with whoever up thread says you need to move. Preferably selling and then you could rent somewhere if you had to. This man will be there forever. His behaviour is not going to improve. Solicitors letters etc are just going to be like a red rag to a bull and he will not react in a sane matter. I think your own mh should come first even if you have to take a financial hit.

steiner8 · 16/07/2015 14:57

Could you post up a photo of the brickwork/garden so we have a better idea of what could be done?

Original poster

Bluebell66 · 16/07/2015 15:21

StayWithMe, I'm so, so sorry to hear your story. People like this want locking up. Hugs to you, I hope you're getting by. Wishing you strength and sending you a hug.

Just to say, I've found my bricks. He'd dumped them on the council land behind my house, so now he's stolen from me and fly tipped. He wouldn't have expected me to find them. I took a photo of them. The stupid bastard isn't as clever as he thinks he is, clearly.

Found out from the CAB that I would have to report any disputes, but I still can't find out how long that is for. Does it lapse after a certain time, or does it mean forever. Still trying to find out.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bluebell66 · 16/07/2015 15:45

I've posted a question online re declaring the dispute when selling the house. I continue to live here because it's our home, and now my DH has gone, it's the only security we have. I can't afford to take a financial hit. Why should me and my DC be driven out of our home by a vile, weak bully?

OP posts:

DoesItReallyMatter · 16/07/2015 16:36

Did you Neighbour see you trying to find the bricks? If he did then I bet he enjoyed it - you are reacting exactly how he wants you to. It would be more sensible to ignore him and spend your time getting a fencer or builder in to sort out the fence.
You really need to try and be more tactical.

Original poster

Bluebell66 · 16/07/2015 16:40

No he didn't, I made sure he was out. I am trying to get someone to sort the fence and am looking into installing a camera to try and deter him. I agree with you Does, and I really am trying. All I want is for him to leave me and my property alone.

OP posts:

SugarOnTop · 16/07/2015 17:31

Why should me and my DC be driven out of our home by a vile, weak bully?

you don't - that's why you should contact the police. he's only getting away with his bullying because nobody stands up to him and has him dealt with. the police would take this seriously - especially if you emphasise that it's got worse since your dh passed and that he is also using your dh passing to verbally abuse you. Sure, he may well act up again after the police visit him - so you report him again. you report him to the relevant authorities each time he harasses you, you keep photos/written record of his antics, that's how you tackle a bully like him. he can only use you fear to control if you allow him to....if you feel the fear and then act decisively anyway then he no longer has control over you.

annielouise · 16/07/2015 18:44

Bluebell, I've found the seller's property information form. See link below. It doesn't mention a time limit - see question No. 2. The second link gives a few examples where they think you might have to mention things, or situations where you wouldn't. I don't think it's clear-cut.

However, I think it's better to sort the situation out now with the police - and keep getting the police involved each and every time you have to as eventually if he doesn't comply he'll go to court, then he'll break the terms again and they'll chuck the book at him as it'll end up with him having a custodial sentence. You need someone to put him in his place, unless you want to put the house on the market in the next few months and just get out of there before Xmas. Do you know any men, family or friends, that can start popping in and showing a presence for a bit? He's a bully but don't let him get to you as hard as it is. I would without hesitation go to the police and take my chances with the house. If he complies with the police then you can stay for a bit and legitimately I think put down on that form either no disputes or a few years ago next door got a bit upset about some rubbish that went into his garden or something and play it down. If you sold to a couple then they probably wouldn't have any trouble anyway. I've been there and thankfully the last two places I've lived I've had lovely neighbours. They're worth their weight in gold.

www.access-legal.co.uk/images/law_society_property_information_form.pdf

www.problemneighbours.co.uk/how-deal-with-neighbour-stalkingyou.html

Original poster

Bluebell66 · 16/07/2015 20:09

Annie - thank you so much for going to the trouble of finding these. I really appreciate it. I've read though the SPIF form, and it doesn't refer to disputes with the "neighbour" at all, it just refers to disputes over the "property". Do you agree? There haven't been disputes over property as such, it's just his harassing behaviour. What do you think? I think I will probably get legal advice from a solicitor to find out once and for all, so I know exactly where I stand.

OP posts:

SweetAndFullOfGrace · 16/07/2015 20:17

He's using your property to dump rubbish without your permission, is that not a dispute over property?

annielouise · 16/07/2015 22:34

I have heard different things about those forms. I think the whole point is you can't mislead someone with an out and out lie but things are open to interpretation. It would definitely be worth going to that free legal advice thing you mentioned. Especially if there was a gap with nothing happening from you I think you would be on safer ground to tick No. What a bloody awful and frightening situation. I'm really sorry for you. You're already affected by his bullying and you're scared to report it and put him in his place. Is he still bothering the neighbours on the other side of him or has he turned his attention to you now?

Footle · 17/07/2015 05:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Bluebell66 · 17/07/2015 05:46

Thank you Annie and Footie. I wondered that too Footie, but as you know I've been too poorly this week to go out and about. I will definitely be contacting a solicitor next week, if I'm up to it. Even if I have to pay for half an hour, it will be worth it, to find out my position once and for all. Yes he is still annoying the neighbours the other side, but they are a couple, so not as vulnerable as me, so it's much more low key and subtle.

OP posts:

00100001 · 17/07/2015 07:49

How have you not rung 101 yet??????

WhatchaMaCalllit · 17/07/2015 08:10

Bluebell - are you planning on selling your house in the next 6 months? Within the next year? When??

I know you've posted that you're dealing with this neighbour and you have anxiety, but you're really not doing yourself any favours if you get hung up on whether you have to declare something if you're ages away from selling the property. If you have to get the police involved and it works out for the better, then there is no issue at all. The new owners of your property will have a well behaved neighbour beside them and you wont have anything more to do with the property.

Please phone the 101 number and start dealing with the immediate issue - your health being affected by this bully boy neighbours actions.

DoesItReallyMatter · 17/07/2015 08:26

Are you going to post the photos - they won't be identifying as it's just a bit of fence?

You said you had taken the photos? Have you?

Have you managed to find a fencer or builder or order a CCTV camera?

CCTV cameras are easy to order on Amazon

Footle · 17/07/2015 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohtheholidays · 17/07/2015 09:21

Bluebell 66 have you got any BIL's,Brother's,Uncles,male Cousins that could come round and sort the gap under the fence?

I've suggested Male relatives because of what you've said the nasty git next door is like.If he saw you had male relatives to call on when you needed to,I am sure he would stop!

He's a bully and bullies are cowards,you know yourself that he's a coward as he started all his nonsense when you lost your DH,he thinks because your a women that your weak.You are not and you need to get some support behind you to sort the nasty old sod out!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 17/07/2015 10:46

In America, there is a charity called 'bikers against child abuse' or very similar.

Bikers can be scary looking people, with hearts of gold.
Have you got a biker friend?
Even if all he/she does is sit on your drive, reading a book... His presence may be enough for mr bully to realise you aren't alone.

SpaceAdmiralRodcocker · 17/07/2015 10:55

Hope you get this sorted

Original poster

Bluebell66 · 17/07/2015 11:24

I've got a friend coming round to sort the fence and I'm getting legal advice next week. Thank you for all your advice and support everyone.

OP posts:

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