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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour shoving his garden waste into my garden

181 replies

Bluebell66 · 14/07/2015 21:48

There is a gap under the fence between me and my neighbour. It's his fence. He keeps pushing garden waste, clippings, clumps of dead grass etc, under the fence into my garden. I have tried blocking up the gap with bricks, and he just pushes them out the way. I can't talk to him as he's an aggressive bully. I know he's doing it on purpose. What can I do about it and AIBU to let it bother me?

OP posts:
Mygardenistoobig · 14/07/2015 22:59

Also anti vandal paint the bottom of the fence. It doesn't come off.

knackered69 · 14/07/2015 23:00

Semtex

Iloveonionchutney · 14/07/2015 23:01

Barbed wire could put him off.

MrsNuckyThompson · 14/07/2015 23:07

Keep pushing it back and each time place a steaming dog turd in the middle so that if he tries to re-shove it he gets filthy.

SAHD63 · 14/07/2015 23:25

YANBU to let it bother you, possibly why he is doing it if he is a bully. Trying blocking the access (he could still just throw it over the fence). Anybody else who can help - landlord, housing association etc? If not, something like this or this.

Failing that, Punji sticks are much more practical than explosives. And deniable...

wafflyversatile · 14/07/2015 23:49

What you want is a lever and pulley system that he will trigger when shoving it through that dumps a bucket of glitter on him.

UncertainSmile · 14/07/2015 23:51

You need to write to ACME, that's where Wile Coyote got all his traps from. Although, from memory, they weren't all that effective.

littletwinkletoesx · 15/07/2015 00:01

penguin bollards may work.

Or bag it up and throw it back over the fence

Personally I would post it back under as he is doing it. Like a game of tug of war.
Or put my foot against the gap and just grin and wave if he popped his head over to see what was going on.

sykadelic · 15/07/2015 03:36

I vote for poison ivy

Original poster
Bluebell66 · 15/07/2015 05:07

Thank you so much for all your replies everybody, you have brightened my morning, which was much needed, and for making me realise I ANBU. I will keep throwing it back until I can get something permanent done. I'm thinking along the lines of a small barrier of some kind cemented in my side of the fence. This stuff is definitely not coming though by accident. He's using such force to move the bricks away from the fence back into my garden and the clumps of dead grass etc, are a considerable way into my border. I have a tree there, fortunately with nothing planted underneath it. If I did have plants under there, he would have totally destroyed them. I was going to put some plants under that tree, so glad I didn't waste my time - and money - now. I knew he was going to do something last night, when he was standing on something looking over the fence. He has only been doing this, and other things, since I tragically lost my DH to lung cancer two years ago. He's a pathetic, aggressive bully, and he's doing it because he knows I'm on my own and can't stand up to him myself. I feel very vulnerable at the moment and I just wish he'd leave me alone. I'm struggling with anxiety and ill health, and this is just making it worse. Thank you again everybody.

OP posts:
MsAspreyDiamonds · 15/07/2015 05:20

After reading your last post, I think you should call the police on the none emergency inner 101 and tell them exactly what you said up thread. I bet you he stops after a visit from the police if his behaviour escalates, he would be stupid to do something worse after they have him on file. Discretely film or take pictures of film when he looks or into your garden or when he shovels waste under the fence. The police would take a dim view of harassment of lone females in their own home by aggressive male bullies.

MsAspreyDiamonds · 15/07/2015 05:23

Even better install a cctv camera and outdoor light pointing directly at the fence it doesn't have to be switched on or be a real one, it's just to freak him out

cherrytree63 · 15/07/2015 05:24

Put a line of mousetraps under the fence.
Or acid.
Whenever you see him in his garden go outside and menacingly rev a chain saw.
Wait behind your fence and stamp on his fingers or chop them off with a hoe.

Original poster
Bluebell66 · 15/07/2015 05:33

Thank you for that Mrs Aspre, I will seriously think about that. I just assumed I'm on my own with it, and the police wouldn't be interested. I would be afraid that if I did report him, and they did go round, it would provoke him into doing more and it would escalate. I am trying to cope with enough at the moment. It's really upsetting my DC as well. What I forgot to mention in my OP, is that he has razor wire all round the top of his fences, and he has a security camera at the front of his house, which I noticed recently, was pointing directly onto my property and not his own???

OP posts:
Footle · 15/07/2015 05:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MokunMokun · 15/07/2015 05:44

Isn't it illegal to point a CCTV camera at someone else's property?

I really do think you should have a chat with the police about this. His behaviour sounds quite sinister.

It sounds like you've had an awful time of things. We're here to support you, so please don't feel you are alone.

Original poster
Bluebell66 · 15/07/2015 05:59

Footie and Mokun - you're caring, genuine replies have made me cry. It's such a relief to talk to someone about this who is on my side and doesn't think I'm making a fuss over nothing. I can't tell you what that means. He has a reputation, but I'm unfortunate enough to live next door to him. He's clearly taking advantage of the fact that I'm vulnerable - a classic bully. I'm afraid that if I do report this to the police, if I ever want to sell my house, I will have to declare it by law, then it would be impossible to sell the house. Does anybody know anything about that. Big hugs xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluebell66 · 15/07/2015 06:00

Sorry "your genuine replies" not "you're" xx

OP posts:
MsAspreyDiamonds · 15/07/2015 06:03

Call the police and let them deal with him from now on. It is illegal to point a camera at another property and police would be interested in knowing what he would be doing with the footage. Don't worry about his behaviour escalating, he would be stupid to do anything after you report him and he is confident that you won't which is why he is doing all this. It's time to break his confidence and report him to the police for waging a campaign of intimidation against you.

He knows that you are a widow and he is making you feel unsafe in your own home, that's what you need to tell the police and the fact that he has a camera pointing at your direction. You are not alone, we are here to support you through this if you want us to.

WendyTorrance · 15/07/2015 06:28

Just wanted to offer my support and Flowers.

Your neighbour is an utter bastard.

Original poster
Bluebell66 · 15/07/2015 07:13

Thank you so much MsAsprey. I do need your support, very much - it means the world to me. You have actually made me realise that he is waging a war of intimidation against me, and he's been doing it since my DH died. I can see it now, but with trying to cope with just getting through each day and supporting my DC, I have just been putting up with it, even though it's really upsetting me, and adding to my already considerable stress and anxiety. It's making me feel ill.

Wendy - your post is not in the least bit unhelpful - you're exactly right - he is - x10!!!!! Hugs to you both and heartfelt thanks for your support xx

OP posts:
Muddymits · 15/07/2015 07:21

What a horrid, horrid man. If you get the non emergency police round you can log it all and they can go and speak to him if need be. What a snivelling little shit of a man, people will care about this especially in your difficult circumstances.

Original poster
Bluebell66 · 15/07/2015 07:25

Thank you Muddy - your support means the world to me. My other neighbour, who is lovely, told me that the previous owners of my house had to move because of him. Their DC were terrified of him.

OP posts:
JenniMoo · 15/07/2015 07:28

IME the non emergency police line is very helpful and a great way to solve things before they escalate. You wouldn't be 'reporting' it, so should be ok future selling wise.

Scoobydoo8 · 15/07/2015 07:34

Police might even have a record of complaints from the previous owner.

In fact they might have other stuff about him on record if he is as unpleasant as he seems.