Neighbour shoving his garden waste into my garden

[Bluebell66]

There is a gap under the fence between me and my neighbour. It's his fence. He keeps pushing garden waste, clippings, clumps of dead grass etc, under the fence into my garden. I have tried blocking up the gap with bricks, and he just pushes them out the way. I can't talk to him as he's an aggressive bully. I know he's doing it on purpose. What can I do about it and AIBU to let it bother me?

I also think you should go straight to the police. This looks like ASBO territory.

I honestly wouldn't take any action against him in the way of razor blades, poo, etc, people like this are deranged enough to accuse you of something Bluebell, you honestly have to be squeaky clean. My experience of this (the young girl hounded out of the flat she had bought) was told this by the Police. If it ever goes any further, you have to show that you haven't done anything whereby he can feel retaliation was the only option for him.

If he is causing other neighbours problems too, I agree that getting together is the way to go because it's not just you saying these things. Keep writing it down Bluebell, I'm sorry it's causing you such distress, your home should be your haven and this isn't fair with all you've been through.

Ollie, thank you, that means everything. I wish I'd taken a photo of the camera when it was pointing at my property Phoenix, but it just didn't occur to me. It's over the last few weeks that he's really stepped up the bullying and intimidatory behaviour towards me.

I would love it if he had to face up to someone bigger, more clever, more scary and intimidating than him. He would crumple. Bullies do. It's not the way to go but try and imagine his stupid face sobbing and begging to be left alone (as he was being threatened by a 'heavy')

You're absolutely right Roussette, and I'm not blowing my own trumpet, but I am squeaky clean. I or my DH have never done anything to him, and it's not in my nature to take revenge. I won't give him the satisfaction of having a genuine reason to complain about me. He will make things up, as he's deluded and deranged, but I know in my heart I am not guilty of anything. I need my home to be a haven for me and my DC more than ever at the moment, and you're right, it's not. Why does he have to be such an utterly evil bastard? I just pray he gets his come uppance one day.

Oh Roussette, how I wish too!!! I would love nothing more. Hugs to you and thank you so much for all your support, it's invaluable to me xx

I am sure you are squeaky clean Bluebell, as much as it's tempting to do something to pay him back, playing the long measured game is by far the best way to go. Just imagine him sat on the loo sobbing with his trousers round his legs and non stop diarrhoea whilst the "heavy" is threatening him through the letterbox. Sorry, I have a warped mind

I'm so angry for you. The way you describe it the full horror of the intimidation comes through and it's frightening. I'm another that advocates the police. I think he needs stamping down and someone to keep on stamping on him until he shuts up once and for all.

I've just had a quick Google of declaring disputes and from this link below it's not just reported ones you have to declare. It seems if you know of anything that could lead you disputes you have to declare and if you prevent future buyers making an informed choice it's fraud. Based on that I'd go down the police route. Also, would you really want to sell to maybe a vulnerable woman on her own or with kids? I know you have to think of yourself and your kids first but I honestly believe contacting the police is the best route. Just because he owns doesn't mean measures can't be taken.

www.leonkaye.co.uk/declaring-problems-with-the-neighbours-when-selling-your-property/

Another website said if anything happened over 2 years ago you don't need to declare in the seller's form, but I only quickly Googled that so that might be worth checking. It doesn't sound like you're planning on selling soon so if you can get the police to sort him out now and don't sell within 2 years you might not have to declare anything on that form at all.

Please contact the police and contact them each and every time and if you don't get any satisfaction then write to your MP. You're a vulnerable person and they need to protect you. He's intimidating you by saying he's ex Army.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. The person causing the disturbance sent her brother who was just out of prison to stand outside my gate with his arms crossed, legs wide apart, staring into my garden - intimidating body language. The problem neighbour was disturbing loads of us. It eventually went to court which I went to and I told the Judge the effect on me of this particular incident - I looked into alarm companies and booby-trapped my house with things like clothes horses etc by the doors so I'd hear if anyone got in. She was evicted. Shortly after that I sold and put on the form that yes there had been a problem neighbour but it had gone to court and they were being evicted. I sold with no problem. Let the police deal with him please. I'd love to see the fucking smile wiped off his face the complete and utter fucking shit. Sorry for the swearing but he's annoyed me.

I saw something very very similar to this on Neighbours from Hell on TV. In spite of police involvement and measures taken to stop the harrassment it never did stop. This man has a mental health problem. Put your house up to rent with a good agent (you won't need to put a sign up then) and rent somewhere else on the other side of your DCs' school instead.

We had similar. Batshit crazy neighbour (female but with a husband backing up her every crazy move - although she was at her worst when he wasn't around) who used to run out after me in the street swearing at me, stand at the window watching my every move, put small holes in the fence to spy on us, completely destroyed our fence within a year of us putting it up. Also used to grab completely random passers by to tell them how awful we were in a loud voice designed to be overheard. I know exactly how you feel - I was a wreck and terrified to step out of my own home.

Finally, after she ran after me one day to my car swearing and shouting, I reported it. Police gave her an information notice to sign which acts as a harrassment warning notice. They were furious and started putting threatening nasty anonymous letters through our door (but clearly by them - they were stupid enough to refer to us as their next door neighbours). We never once responded - we just took those to the police too, who warned them that one more incident and they'd be up in court for harrassment. It worked and they just avoided us after that. However, I was still desperate to move so we were in the process of doing our house up to rent out while we rented elsewhere - less permanent that way but enough to give us a breather.

But then, a month or so ago, they suddenly put the house on the market, sold it immediately and have since tried to be as nice as pie to us (guessing they haven't revealed a neighbour dispute). We've met the new people and haven't let on either because we want current neighbours gone!
They said to other neighbours that "after everything they needed a fresh start".

So although going to police was scary at the time and almost initially seemed to exacerbate the problem, in retrospect it was the best thing we ever did.
Don't live in fear, report it. The police will do something.

You sound utterly lovely OP, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. I came her to advise that you log everything, so I'm glad you've started to do this. Dates, times, details, photos. Any witnesses to his behaviour would be great too, and I do think teaming up with other neighbours is a good idea. You all validate each other's experiences.

Truly hoping the police can give you some good advice, and I'm so glad you're getting lots of lovely support on this thread

I know it's hard but I think you need to try to refrain from confronting him. You say that you 'flipped' yesterday and confronted him 'rather forcefully' and he then went on to call you those names. I don't know what you said to him but however understandable it was and however reasonable it was I think it was a mistake and will do nothing to calm things down. It was also a mistake not to record the argument especially as it was you that instigated it.

Cutting back foliage on the land behind your garden would not warrant a visit from Environmental Health. Are you sure that's what the council said because if they did there has to be more to the story.

Are you going to post those photos? I think you should forget the more inventive suggestions about hogweed and the like and simply invest in a proper physical barrier (gravel broads?) at the bottom of your fence.

How high are your fences in your front and in your rear garden?

I think strong tall (as tall as allowed) fences are the way forward accompanied by screening plants. Even if you end up sacrificing a bit of your garden the piece of mind might be worth it.

I'm baffled by the comment about the razor wire? Can you provide a photo? (Make sure it doesn't show any identifying details - close ups are ok) That's the type of thing the council would be interested in.

By the way - a lot of the things you mention are things that you have heard from other neighbours - it helps paint a picture but I would worry that he will find out that you are been talking about him. If you contact 101 you should try and keep to the facts about what he has actually done to you. You should try not to get sidetracked about things that you haven't personally witnessed or experienced.

Is the end cap still missing from the guttering? Can you do a photo of that?

Annie thank you so much for your information and support, it means so much to me. I think I will consult a solicitor, we have a free surgery in our village once a month, so may try that. I need to know where I stand before involving the police. I absolute agree with your last comments, he is a vile shit, scum of the earth.

Owl, thank you so much for your kind words and support, they mean the world to me and make me feel like I'm not completely on my own with this.

I will try and post the pics Does, and will get one of the razor wire.

Good Morning Bluebell , I hope you're feeling ok , and yes, you're not on your own with this.
It's a beautiful day where I am, and am planning on going for a walk later. I love walking down to the horse paddocks - very horsey village here - and seeing their antics. Will tell you about it later.

Do you have a favourite walk you like to do, as I'd love to hear about it?

I'm not ignoring or minimalising this awful quandary you are in, but it does help to try and put it in a 'box' for a little while and forget about it whilst doing something lovely. When my friend did this she said it gave her strength to better deal with the bad situation...... maybe it would help you too.

One of my friends had this situation - remember if he does ANYTHING at all which could be interpreted as ABH or any sort of threat to your DH - police 999 - they won't think you are wasting their time if there is already a record of 101 calls

Morning Arty, that sounds lovely, and I agree with you but it's hard. I am going to go out for a walk this afternoon too with my DS, just to get away from here for a it. I've just discovered he's stolen at least 10 of my bricks, so this puts a whole different light on it. I had enough bricks to go the full width of the fence panel, at least 10 - 15, and now I only have five left. It seems petty to be worried about a few bricks, but theft is theft, and it's the principle of it. How dare he steal from me! I really want to ring 101 Geek, but I need to know for definite first how it will affect me selling the house. I'm in complete turmoil over it and I'm exhausted with it all.

What sort of timescale are you selling the house on? I think you would be better off examining the more immediate problem. For example he is guilty of theft now. I wouldn't worry about selling the house right now, more getting the wind up him!

I'm just phoning CAB. I'll keep you posted xx

I'm not sure Geek, following the loss of my DH, my future is all up in the air and very uncertain. I have photos of all the bricks, but I didn't count them, all I know is I've only got 5 now. He'll just deny it though won't he?

God I wish I knew some Hells Angels to send round to you reving their motorbikes and looking threatening.
Sorry that's not helpful, but others have given good advice on here.
You are not alone, we are all behind you.

Good Luck!

Getdownshep, I wish that too, more than anything I want to
see him exposed for the vile bully he is and pay for what he's done. I'd love to see him squirm and suffer. I'm so vulnerable at the moment and I'm terrified of repercussions, not just for me, but for my two DC as well

Stay strong Bluebell. Wouldn't it be good to send round the heavy mob, and my stepson certainly knows some dodgy Hells Angels who would teach him a lesson he'd never forget! What a shame you can't do this.
(p.s. have sent you a PM, hope it helps )

Hi Bluebell it's like reading about my own situation. I actually felt physically sick reading that and that's not an exhaduration. My neighbours starting harrasing my husband and I after I built a single story extension for my terminally ill husband. They would repeatidly bang the fitted wardrobe doors when he'd try to sleep, throw cooked chicken bones to my dogs! rubbish into my garden! verbally abyss me! ect.

He died in March and they have also said vile things about my dear sweet husband. Like you, we are very decent people and even her father admitted that if we weren't, they wouldn't bother us. He's ashamed of her behaviour, but is powerless to stop them. My girl has severe learning difficulties and my oldest has ADD but they don't care. The kicker is, she's a social worker!

The only thing that calmed it was a solicitors letter. I have got to the stage that if it starts again I won't hesitate on taking them to court and I have video evidence and good neighbours who are willing to witness to the harassment. Like you, I also got to the stage of wanting to move but now I've decided I will stay and fight, fuck them! If I do move out, it will be to rent and I'll make sure the biggest piece of shit I can find will rent this house. I don't care if they wreak it, so long as they get their comeuppance.

Blimey I'm still angry, going by that post. Can you tell?