Neighbour shoving his garden waste into my garden

[Bluebell66]

There is a gap under the fence between me and my neighbour. It's his fence. He keeps pushing garden waste, clippings, clumps of dead grass etc, under the fence into my garden. I have tried blocking up the gap with bricks, and he just pushes them out the way. I can't talk to him as he's an aggressive bully. I know he's doing it on purpose. What can I do about it and AIBU to let it bother me?

Oh poor you, Bluebell, how awful. I know you said it is impossible to move but I just wonder if there is any way round that? Sometimes what seems an impossible decision can be worked round, obviously I'm not sure how, but for it to affect your DS too is horrible.

OP - if you sell your house the usual way then yes, you do have to declare any problems . BUT, if you sell by auction, then you don't - truly.

A friend of mine was in a very similar position to yourself, but the neighbour became more and more violent when he realised the police weren't going to do anything.
So she moved out, put a reserve on the selling price, and it sold within 5 weeks for way above the reserve price. So please, don't feel trapped, there are ways out of your situation.

My friend is now living a fabulous life in a fabulous place - and the neighbour - probably still a misery!

Please PM me if you want to know more.

On a more serious note, are you a member of neighbourhood watch or similar?
They could keep an eye on mr bully for you, and make notes of whatever he does to your property.
Keep notes and take digital photos. They are automatically coded with date/time details. And easy to get extra copies if needed.

Thank you so much everybody. Your support means the world to me. My DD is also very upset since coming home from school and finding out what's happened today. I have a friend who says he will go and speak to him. This is the first step in neighbourly disputes, but I think this is more than that. It's harassment. I just can't get his words "you black widow bitch" out of my head. I feel totally violated. ArtyBat - that's very useful to know. I had no idea. I will PM you if I need to know more. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Me or my dear, precious husband never did anything to him. I told him he was evil, and he just said "not as evil as you". I just feel physically sick. I am very aware that because I'm still grieving and I'm suffering from anxiety, depression and chronic pain, I don't want to do anything hasty and make this whole hellish situation worse. I hope that makes sense.

Leave a live wire in the gap, connected to the mains?

Don't tempt me OTheHuge!

Sorry you're having such an awful time with your shit of a NDN. I hope your friend gives him a rocket and he stops his bullying.

Have you ever thought about buying a lovely if slightly threatening looking dog? If nothing else you'll a friend for life who can provide some support and poos to lob into his garden.

have a friend!

Thank you for making me smile Custard, I desperately need it xx

Surely you're in 'hate crime' territory here?

I've just read the thread and this man is awful.
I agree that the sensible thing would be to go to the police. The less sensible part of me suggests buying an awful lot of horse manure and laying it along the fence boundary. Just as fertiliser of course . if I'm honest I'm thinking of unscooped dog poop from around the neighbourhood but that might be too much
You can't let him threaten your family and get away with it. Bullies like this thrive on your fear. Don't give him the satisfaction. The police will deal with him.

Oh wow, that's pretty vile behaviour. You definitely need to report all of this.

Great AIBU btw; supportive and funny. Nest of vipers my arse!

Definitely report it. The auction thing sounds like a good idea.

Could you post a photo of the bottom of the fence? Then we can advise you on the best and quickest way to block your neighbour.

I really feel for you, BlueBell. This is such a lot to be going through.

One thing that I can;t see being addressed on this thread is is he the house owner or does he rent?

bluebell if you are actually black then iamaleaf is correct, his anti-social behaviour is racially aggravated and will be taken much, much more seriously by the police.

At this point I wouldn't hesitate to report it.

He owns the house outright. I have taken three photos and will get them on here tomorrow, if poss. TracyBarlow, I'm not black, so that isn't the issue, but thank you for your reply. I may be tempted to put broken glass in the horse manure Rosie xx

You could try posting your bathroom waste through his letterbox. I hear that works.

i wonder whether you could get some giant hogweed from somewhere and scatter it along your border? i hear the pain is awful, the blisters burn and leave a scar.........just make sure you got gloves on when handling it

Sounds awful. I had problems with neighbours where I used to live. I can completely understand how this must be affecting you.
I really think you should involve the police. He sounds the type to do more if he believes he can get away with it.
Apologies if i missed anything but what problems did the previous neighbours have? Similar? Were police contacted? Also is this man the homeowner or does he rent?

Thank you for understanding Footie. One of my biggest problems at the moment, due to my anxiety and depression, is that I find it nigh on impossible to make a decision. I'm afraid that whatever I do will end up being the wrong thing. I would love to involve the police, more than anything else, believe me, but I am so afraid it will come back and hit me in the face and I'll end up being even worse off than I am now. I don't know what problems the previous owners had Simple. They weren't the ones we bought off, it was the ones before them. I would contact them if I could, but I have no idea how to trace them. I do know their names but that's all. There are two other people in my street who have had problems with him, involving him threatening their sons when they were only young lads. I am going to try and find out from them if they involved the police. Sadly he owns the house outright. The neighbours the other side of him, who I am very close to, have had years of awful problems with him too. Basically, he is never happy unless he is making someone else's life a misery. I've never felt violent towards anyone in my life, and I've certainly never lost my temper with anyone like I did with him today. I'm a very quiet, patient, tolerant person. It's really churned me up. I just cannot switch off and sleep. His words and his aggressive face just keep going over and over in my head. How could he call me such s vile thing. He clearly doesn't have a human emotion anywhere in his body. I just feel physically sick. He said the worst possible thing to me and I just want to cry. I need my DH so much.

I don't think it's a good idea to talk to the neighbours about him unless you can 100% guarantee that it won't get back to him. Chatting about him with other neighbours is the type of thing that could escalate things very quickly if you are not careful.

How about calling 101 and asking if someone could give you some general advice without you actually making a complaint.

Is this latest incident the first time he has verbally abused you? If so, what do you think sparked it off?

You mention that he has been doing 'other things', can you tell us what they are? It strikes me that it would be easy to solve the problem of him pushing stuff under your fence but it would be helpful to know what else he does so that posters can give you more advice.

Do you know if he has any mental health issues?

I agree with you DoesIt, and I think I am going to call 101 for advice, but not make an complaint. He verbally abused me yesterday because after putting up with him interfering with my property for the last two years, since losing my DH, I came home to find him doing it yet again, and I finally flipped. I told him, rather forcefully to please leave my garden and property alone. That's when he verbally abused me. He was doing this before my DH passed away as well. He continually cut back all the shrubs in our front garden so hard, even though they were nowhere near overhanging into his property, until he killed them all, and we had to take them all out and start again, costing a considerable amount of money. He also took the end cap off his guttering so all the rain water poured onto our patio. I know this for a fact because he told us he'd done it. He said "I did it deliberately so you can have some if your own water back". ????? He said "us ex army boys know how to get our own back". My house backs onto council land and he has been cutting back the foliage behind my property leaving me open at the back and vulnerable to fly tipping and people accessing the back of my property. I have spoken to the council about this and they said, in no uncertain terms, he has no right to be cutting back foliage, trees etc on council land. They said they would send their Enforcement Officer out. This was several weeks ago. I wonder if they have and this is why he's been especially intimidating lately. He will take revenge on anyone who dares to cross or question him in anyway. He stares viciously at me and my DD whenever he sees us. His whole demeanour is intimidatory and threatening. As far as mental health issues go, the consensus round here is, yes, he does, clearly. He is obsessed with his "boundaries" and the security of his property. One of the young lads he threatened was the local paper boy, just delivering the papers. He also threatened to shoot the neighbour's dog the other side of him if it dared to go anywhere near his property. He also threatened to put a brick through their son's car window if he came home with his music on again. The irony is, he does this all the time. He also plays loud music in his back garden. His dog yaps constantly. The dog is never on a lead. It often runs into to my front garden, twice it has come in my front door right into my house. He thinks he can do what the hell he likes, and we all just have to put up with it. I'm sorry this is such a long post, but it's been going on for years. Compared to what I have been through, this all sounds incredibly trivial, but I think it's because of that, and because I'm so low at the moment, and so poorly with stress, anxiety and chronic pain, that it is getting to me so much. I have had no sleep last night. All I could think of is his angry red face staring at me, and what he called me. I will never forget it. I'm so angry with him for upsetting my DC. They have already been through more than enough pain. We just want to be left alone to live our lives in peace. Thank you if anybody manages to read this essay! xx