To be pissed of at people that make comments about sons hair

[ghostspirit]

People are really starting to pee me of with comments about my sons hair. person 1 when you getting his hair cut he looks like a girl. says it often-ish

person 2 omg get his hair cut. why do you make him have long hair. your really making him into someone hes not.

Me: i have had is hair cut....her:but a bob why would you do that.

i just feel like shes rude when her son has his hair cut i say its nice which it is. i think my son suits long hair and he does not have to have it shaved like many boys do. and theses things are said whilst hes there.

Ooh pictures of Christian bale!

Here are some pictures of the super gawjus Jesus Jared, and Keanu.

Maybe your DS needs a man bun?

OP, a quick flick of Vs is all that's required!
Or the old MN standby, "did you mean to be so rude?"

i dont like it tbh
but it is none of my business

Not a man bun, they look awful.

Here's a picture of the gorgeous Tim Minchin.

But these pictures are grown men who are responsible for their own hairstyles and trips to the barbers, not an 8 year old boy.

But he is 8, just how long do you think you can go on protecting him from thus stuff? If he wants long girly hair he has to learn how to butch it out. Otherwise just get him a "boys haircut". But it has to be his decision.

hes 8 years old never had a comment from a child...he should not have to take comments from adults

I agree stillwish, unfortunately, you speak the truth. He has to learn to butch it out.

It's crazy how cookie cutter we've become.

Girls have long hair and smell of pastel coloured glittery butterflies and unicorns, and boys have short hair and smell of primary and silver/ black coloured footballs and engine oil, or something.

However don't get me started on shaving young DD's leg/ armpit hair off.
Butching that out isn't an option I fear!!

Long hair for men and boys seems to be coming back into fashion, yeah lots of teenage boys seem to have longer hair. My Ds(9) wants to look like gavroche from les mis which is awesome.

I know two little boys with long hair. They both look gorgeous. If your son is happy, ignore all the comments. Can you teach him a few replies in case it comes up at school?

Well I think children have enough to deal with it without having to think up suitable replies for school. I'm going to be honest but I think the hair is terrible. No style to it
Your son doesn't know any different cause its been like that all his life. Hes probably afraid to get it cut now. If I were you I'd cut your sons hair!

YANBU.

Long hair can look great on boys and girls.

Personally, regardless of gender, I do think long hair doesn't actually suit every child.
A friend has a boy with long hair and it's scraggly, straggly and would look so much better about three inches shorter than it is. But I think she's been so adamant about him having long hair that she won't cut it out of sheer stubborness.
I would never comment out loud on it though.

middle i know what your saying about replies incase there are comments. but if i did that for an incase situation would i not be making it an issue? i think nothing has ever been said because hes been with the same children since 3 years old so they have always known him that way

I think people should keep their opinions to themselves, it really is none of their business. If he likes his hair long and chooses to keep it that way then it's up to him. There will most likely come a point when other children will make some disparaging comments no doubt having had their bad manners modelled by opiniated parents but if he's confident enough to have chosen a hairstyle that's different to the majority of his peers, he's probably more than capable of dealing with it.

I think the issue isn't so much that people make comments in front of your ds, but that they are ill mannered enough to do it at all. If their judgemental tone upsets him enough to think that he has to conform to their idea of whatever is 'normal' for a boy of his age, then shame on them. OP you tell him from me, that the world needs more people like him, who know what they like and are happy to be themselves. It's the people who think they can go around telling everyone else what to do that are in the wrong. They need people like him to show them there is a better way.

I am getting so fed up of living in a world where all and sundry think they have to right to tell other people what they should be wearing, eating, doing, thinking. It's purely bad manners to comment and no-one's business but your own. If you don't like the way someone else chooses to look then keep your counsel.

Both my boys have long hair, their choice. They have both tried shorter cuts at different times, but always go back to a longer style. Ds1, now 13 has gone a smidge shorter since he started secondary, but still has what would be considered long hair. Ds2 is told me yesterday that he doesn't want his trimmed over the summer, but would like it tidied up before he starts secondary in September (different secondary, where the rules state no longer than shoulder length for boys).

Don't like long hair on small boys personally and don't like the style shown in the ops photo. But that's just my opinion and he's not my son so it doesn't really matter!

People should just mind their own business, he shouldn't have to learn to 'butch it out' grown bloody adults should just shut up. My boy had long hair til he was about 8 and then wanted it cut because of stupid comments from other people, it's sad and bully-like.

Sorry, OP, but I agree he needs some layers.

I know you said whatever the hairdresser does, it soon goes back to being "his" hair, but if he had layers it would be a nicer-looking version of "his" hair.

Not that it's any of my business how he has his hair.

I agree with Rhonda get him some layers. It's not doing anything.

at schools dictating hair length for just the boys. Surely it is enough to tie it back??

My boys daddy has no hair now but had long hair in his youth. On the off chance little Loz follows his Dadda I am going to let him make his own choice! He has a slightly unusual first name that I am always told sounds 'rock star' so his hair can match until he says different! And yes I will offer to take him to the barber if he finds it a pain.

ghost you are right, sorry. I was assuming he would have already picked up on comments as you said your friend makes them when he is there.

If his school friends have always known him like that, they'll accept him for who he is. Children are far less judgmental than adults.

I think his hair looks lovely, btw.

moose my DDs school stated that long hair had to be tied back for PE, cookery, science, etc. This rule applied to boys and girls. One of their male friends had a lovely long ponytail most of the time. Not sure a school can enforce the length of a child's hair as long as they are safe.

My son has longish hair, only yesterday he was mistaken for a girl. There's a couple of boys with hair nearly his length at nursery but the majority have very short hair. He has had it shorter and tbh he needs a bit of a trim but I think he looks lovely. however, if he wanted it short I would let him. It's his hair after all.

YANBU.

I'd just try and think of something cutting to say and shut it down like: "We both prefer this style much more to a crude and old fashioned short back and sides, not that I really care what hairstyles other people have, it's too trivial a thing to even think about!"

So many gorgeous boys with long locks! I am more convinced the more I read.

I think the nay Sayers may have cut in haste - too eager to log another 'first' for Facebook!

U2, your boys' hair is just fine. I hate it when parents get their sons' lovely curly hair all shorn off as it never looks right afterwards. It always looks harsh and rather odd.

Op, I would never ever comment at school, but personally I am not too keen on a long bob on a boy. But I am old. If you are getting comments from younger mums, you just have to accept that looking different will attract comments. People can be really rude and they should keep their thoughts to themselves. You could of course feel free to comment on their locks, particularly after a disastrous dye/cut.

MiddleAge under the DofE's guidance to schools regarding uniforms it does seem that schools can enforce any rule they like, as long as they aren't being discriminatory on religious grounds. They can discipline pupils for not adhering to the rules and even exclude pupils for it if the situation isn't resolved.

"Teachers can discipline pupils for breaching the school’s rules on appearance or uniform. This should be carried out in accordance with the school’s published behaviour policy.

A head teacher, or a person authorised by the head teacher, may ask a pupil to go home briefly to remedy a breach of the school’s rules on appearance or uniform. When making this decision schools need to consider the child’s age and vulnerability, the ease and time it will take, and the availability of the child’s parents. This is not an exclusion but an authorised absence. However, if the pupil continues to breach uniform rules in such a way as to be sent home to avoid school, or takes longer than is strictly necessary to effect the change, the pupil’s absence may be counted as an unauthorised absence. In either case the pupil’s parents must be notified and the absence should be recorded. If a school is considering excluding a pupil in response to breaches of uniform policy then this must be in line with the legal requirements for exclusion."

If you really wanted to fight it though, you could go the route of gender inequality, which is also dealt with in the guidelines. There can't justifiably be a rule about boys only being allowed hair of x length, when girls are allowed to have it whatever length they like, as long as it's tied back, if you are looking at things from a gender equality point of view.

^"A school should also bear in mind the concept of “indirect” discrimination. This involves the application of a requirement, which, although applied equally to everyone, puts certain people at a particular disadvantage because of their gender, race, sexual orientation, religion or belief or gender reassignment. Such a requirement will need to be justified as a proportionate way of achieving a reasonable objective if it is to be lawful, and the policy will need to be flexible enough to allow for necessary exceptions."

My feeling is that that could still fall down on the last part 'allow for necessary exceptions' as it would be very hard to explain how long hair should be seen as 'necessary'.