To ask, how much are Mumsnetters owed in maintenence arrears?

[whothehellknows]

I know from previous threads that there are lots of us on MN with ExP's that do anything they can to avoid maintenence.

Last night in a fit of ire (because ExP who "can't afford to pay maintenence" told me about how he's looking to buy a fucking boat) I used the CMS calculator to double check how much he should have been paying all this time. In total, our kids have missed out on over £6000 in payments in two years. The number really shook me. I'm sitting here thinking how many times I've cried in desperation trying to make ends meet, worked overtime, sold my stuff and gone without to take care of my kids. What a difference that money could have made.

I know it's a broken record, but I can't help but think that lone parents would need a lot less help from the state if NRP's had to step up and pay for their kids.

So out of curiosity, more than anything else, I'm wondering how much mumsnetters have had to make do without-- I'm betting it's a mind blowing amount.

If your ex should be paying and isn't, how much has he managed to dodge?

Please sign the petition if this affects you. I have not had a penny for DS in 9 years.

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/126895

About 10 years ago the csa told me it was 12k. I haven't bothered counting since then.

I've just worked mine out at 4,800. The little arsehole him.

At least 10k if not more. Hasn't paid a penny for 2 kids in 10 years. Gave me a tenner once when I asked for help. CSA did sod all to catch him.

Over 20k

45,000. That's based on 15% of net on 5,000 for 5 years. To date I've received £0000000.

My ex is self employed and so it is nearly impossible to work out how much he declares but in the first six months of our separation he gave me £20 for our three kids then had the cheek to ask to sign his name on the gifts I bought for Xmas. I was trying to ensure our separation was amicable and was treading very lightly at the time) Since then he has paid the absolute minimum he can on the maintenance calculator (£400 a month) and will not help with extras like school shoes or - the latest - the cost of attending university open days for our eldest who has a scholarship and has been encouraged to try for Oxford. (Expensive train journey there and overnight stay- when I asked he laughed) What I don't get is that whilst we lived together I had a part time job which ended at three and I did not work during the holidays to ensure that I looked after the kids and I have kept that going because I believed the kids were very fragile when we moved out and I didn't want to leave them in an empty house but he claims the discount for having the kids two nights a week even though he never takes any time off to have them during the holidays - meaning that I cannot work Also our youngest won't sleep at his house since the new woman arrived. So his discount amounts to two plates of sausage and chips and a bed for two twice a week. They still come here straight after school and I drop them off at his at six and they spend each holiday here and I cannot work. Is this how the csa intended the discount to apply? Oh and it's hardly worth noting he has had five holidays abroad this year, redecorated his home and bought himself a new scooter. I live off part time earnings and child tax credits and do my own decorating when I can afford the paint.

My ex moved abroad and one of the things he said to me was well the csa can't touch me now, based on £200 a month he was paying before he left and 15 years on not a penny well over £30,000 when I think of the way we've had to scrimp and the things ds has had to do without it makes me so mad, in 15 years ds has had 1 birthday card 0 Xmas cards no gifts, maybe a handful of phone calls.

Findingfeet3...sounds so horribly familiar. My ex is paying £150 a month, half what he should be. Refused to help with school uniform for the new term but can afford cars, holidays, fishing, hobbies. Vile man. for you.

I suppose he does better than a lot here but he certainly doesn't do what he should . We were married 20 years and I find the way he can hold his head high and pretend he's doing his best to all that know him a shock. I just wonder why the csa reduce the amount men have to pay according to how many nights they have the kids when all he does is feed them supper. Usually not even breakfast. I do that. He suffers no loss of earnings during the holidays or half terms. I'm the one who doesn't get paid to look after them

£5900 here, paying maintenance now but is allowed 10 years to pay off debt, cant upset the NRP now can we. CMS promises of tougher penalties is a pack of lies. Get told I'm lucky he is paying but I know he will now feel able to skip months as hey he gets 10 years to pay it off, a nice interest free loan off the back of his kids, scum.

This is one thread I hope does make it into the Daily Mail.

Though, on second thoughts, they'd probably twist it somehow...

My Dad never paid a penny towards my sister and I, not sure how much that would equate to. I'm so angry at the amount of parents who don't pay what they should or anything at all. It's disgusting and should be punishable.

I could have made a claim but think it is too hard to make the self employed declare their income. Child support becomes voluntary in practice. Also I paid him a lot on our divorce.

So had I claimed child support over 13 years let us say about £100 a week maintenance on average that would be £67,600 owed to date.

About £25K!
But I did end up with nearly all of the equity in the house so it worked in my favour in the end.

10k
Serial Job hopper