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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you don't have the appropriate bra don't wear the dress?

268 replies

User543212345 · 05/07/2015 07:53

Out and about yesterday I saw so many women with their bras on show - and not a bra strap peeping out on a shoulder, the whole bloody thing in some cases. Strapless tops with strapped bras, backless dresses with bra straps going across the middle of the back, halter necks with strapped bras, you name it, it was all on show - and in many cases there were combinations of low back, halter straps and a normal bloody bra. This wasn't confined to the young either - so I don't think it was some kind of fashion thing [old gimme emoticon]

It's underwear isn't it? Meaning it goes under the clothes? There are halter neck bras, strapless bras, backless bras etc so it's not like its impossible. I appreciate some dresses/tops aren't designed to be worn with any kind of bra so either go without or don't buy the dress or top! I've put many an item back when I've realised I won't be able to wear sufficient scaffolding support with it.

AIBU to think it's not that hard to dress so your bra isn't totally on show?

OP posts:
NotSparta · 05/07/2015 11:53

SuperFlyHigh and others that can't find a strapless bra. I am a 28F/FF and have the wonderbra ultimate strapless. Admitedly I bought it before I got measured at Bravissimo, so I have it in a 30E (i think!), but the 30 is not bad for me and I don't think they go down to a 28 band.

I actually spill over the cups as I think I've got bigger, so would try a 30F or FF now. Yes, it's expensive, >£30 (though it appears to be £10 off at debenhams at the mo), but if you wear it enough then it'll be worth it. Buy it in nude and it'll be even more useful.

IMO as someone who can't go out without a bra I just don't wear backless stuff and keep strapless stuff for the naice events. If I LOVED a low backed dress I guess I'd look around for a bra solution, but I wouldn't think of just wearing my normal bra with the dress, surely that defeats the point of the garment!

Strapless tops with a normal bra underneath confuse me because surely the wearer purchased the top wanting it to be strapless, but then has just negated that by wearing the bra underneath. Why not just buy a bog standard strappy top?

SuperFlyHigh · 05/07/2015 11:57

Notsparta is that one comfy the wonder bra as the other one they do isn't comfy for all day, is it a Cleo?? My other one is in nude.

I don't mind spending on a decent bra for different styles but comfy is key for me.

SuperFlyHigh · 05/07/2015 12:03

I would never wear a strapless dress eg events etc without a strapless bra but my jumpsuit well it's not like it's the ritz is it?!

I can honestly say I wear it in France on holiday and here out and about (so does my friend) I top it sometimes with a neon yellow monsoon cardigan or pale pink cropped warehouse one and no one looks or comments. In fact I've had a "that looks nice" if worst comes to worse I tuck bra straps down jumpsuit. But yes for the offended eyes here I'll look for a strapless bra another one or a bandeau bikini top so my top half (yes I have slim shoulders, long neck and nice narrow back so strapless looks good on me and my friend (similar build).

Fluffyears · 05/07/2015 12:14

On Amazon you can get bra converters to turn your everyday bray into a racer back or lie back. Mind you I have the converters and don't bother using them as don't care if someone sees my bra. Shock horror woman wearing bra!

MrsSippy · 05/07/2015 12:15

I can't go bra-less, oh gawd the carnage!! (was going to say fallout but stopped myself)

Clear detachable straps, just a couple of quid on ebay, wear your bra with any neckline...sorted

MaidOfStars · 05/07/2015 12:16

When pindering sartorial dilemmas, I find the following question helpful:

What would the French do?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/07/2015 12:17

I don't think you're wrong for thinking it looks terrible, OP but you sound very petty for voicing it. Makes me picture you like a busy-body whose husband is wearing a cloth cap pulled down as far down his ears as he can get it to drown you out. Mind you don't lose him to one of these proud bra-exposers.

specialsubject · 05/07/2015 12:21

strapless looks pretty rough on almost everyone. Does no favours to the slim and for everyone else...eewww..

low backs also not a good look on most. Buy a vest top and put a bra under it. In addition it will keep the sun off so avoiding the mix of sunburn, blisters and skin scribbles that seems so popular.

what would the French do? Smoke a lot and carry a small dog that excretes everywhere.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/07/2015 12:29

I suppose, specialsubject, if you are French and carry a small dog, you could arrange it sort of under your boobs and dispense with a bra altogether? Perhaps easier with two? Grin

butterfly133 · 05/07/2015 12:33

YABU

Bras are a huge nuisance and with water retention my chest is never the same size on a daily basis!

They are also really expensive. I don't own strappy dresses but if I did, I don't think I'd bother with the faff of getting another bra just for that.

butterfly133 · 05/07/2015 12:35

MrsSippy "Clear detachable straps, just a couple of quid on ebay, wear your bra with any neckline...sorted"

major rash, especially in this weather.

SoupDragon · 05/07/2015 12:36

I suppose, specialsubject, if you are French and carry a small dog, you could arrange it sort of under your boobs and dispense with a bra altogether? Perhaps easier with two?

"Look at those puppies!"

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/07/2015 12:42

Ha, SoupDragon, indeed!

I love your username by the way, reminds me of The Clangers everytime I see it...

GatoradeMeBitch · 05/07/2015 12:57

I wouldn't do that, I would actually rather sweat half to death inside a shirt - but I wish I had the confidence to think 'Fuck it if people don't think I look pretty, it's hot!'

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 05/07/2015 12:58

YANBU OP! And to everyone who thinks they look great going out like this - you don't! It's all very well saying you don't give a f*ck what other people think you look like, but sadly, we live in a society that judges people on appearance. First impressions count and all that. Grey old saggy bra hanging out of the side of your top is never going to be a fashion statement. Ever.

And the 'in this weather' disclaimer is a red herring. Sure, it's warm in the UK right now. I live on the East Coast of the US and it's routinely 40 degrees centigrade in summer here. I haven't seen this particular look displayed for a long time. Catch a 'plane to the UK though and walk down a regular high street and they'll be ten a penny. Why?!

Twinkie1 · 05/07/2015 12:58

And under white wear nude underwear FFS.

specialsubject · 05/07/2015 13:07

aha - the use for the small filthy dog! Smile

because, let's face it, there's no other apparent use for them.

noeffingidea · 05/07/2015 13:09

wibblypig why? Because people want to, that's why.

usualsuspect333 · 05/07/2015 13:15

I don't dress to make a fashion statement.

I feel sorry for people who do TBH.

BeautyQueenFromMars · 05/07/2015 13:23

This was me yesterday. I don't own a strapless bra. Can't afford one that actually fits me (fat cow with big boobs). I had on a maxi dress with removable straps. All fine, until one of the little clasps connecting the straps to the dress broke, just as I was getting out of the car at a party in the park we had been looking forward to for ages.
I could have asked my DH to drive us all back home so I could find something else to wear. It would only have taken about an hour before we were back at the party again.
I could have walked round with one strap on, the other dangling. I could have walked round with just the one strap on. Or, as I chose to do, I could take both straps off and figure that anyone who was bothered by the fact my bra straps were showing really had very little to worry about other than getting their judgy pants out of their arse crack.

ghostyslovesheep · 05/07/2015 13:26

It's all very well saying you don't give a fck what other people think you look like, but sadly, we live in a society that judges people on appearance*

erh yes - that's what people are saying - judge away - they give not a fuck Grin

Bunbaker · 05/07/2015 13:28

I couldn't care less about other people's sartorial choices, but I still judge, simply from an aesthetic point of view.

I'm with Soupdragon as well. Why buy strapless/halter neck and wear a traditional style bra underneath? It just looks tacky and ill thought out.

I'm no style icon though, so who am I to judge.

usualsuspect333 · 05/07/2015 13:31

If they cared that people were judging them, they would conform to your standards.

Good on them for not caring.

soverylucky · 05/07/2015 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rifugio · 05/07/2015 13:32

YANBU. Totally with Soupdragon et al. Its tacky.