To think that if you don't have the appropriate bra don't wear the dress?

[User543212345]

Out and about yesterday I saw so many women with their bras on show - and not a bra strap peeping out on a shoulder, the whole bloody thing in some cases. Strapless tops with strapped bras, backless dresses with bra straps going across the middle of the back, halter necks with strapped bras, you name it, it was all on show - and in many cases there were combinations of low back, halter straps and a normal bloody bra. This wasn't confined to the young either - so I don't think it was some kind of fashion thing [old gimme emoticon]

It's underwear isn't it? Meaning it goes under the clothes? There are halter neck bras, strapless bras, backless bras etc so it's not like its impossible. I appreciate some dresses/tops aren't designed to be worn with any kind of bra so either go without or don't buy the dress or top! I've put many an item back when I've realised I won't be able to wear sufficient scaffolding support with it.

AIBU to think it's not that hard to dress so your bra isn't totally on show?

Seeing bra straps dosnt bother me, but I, personally, feel it spoils the look of my dress.
I've got a couple of sundresses with slim straps and I would prefer not show my bra straps. However, my boobs are too big for a strapless bra so I just live with it.

What I really hate is when the dress dosnt quite cover the back part of the bra. I resort to pinning the dress to the back strap or securing it with a tacking stitch, a bit like a Regency Dandy sewing myself into my clothes.

Not merely tacky, but trashy... Self-respect is a healthy virtue and walking around with your underwear on display shows a lack of self-respect.

Lack of self respect for showing off bra straps?

Don't be ridiculous self- respect is nothing to do with whether your underwear shows! Its about how you treat others, what relationship you choose and how you allow others to treat you

P.s when I was a teenager I went clubbing a lot I loved the trashy look, but I never lacked self respect even if I showed my underwear, wore ripped fishnets and crazy boots, it runs a bit deeper than that!

What about if you do not aspire to 'elegant' or 'well groomed' or 'conventional'?

My own personal self esteem would take a massive fucking bashing the day I dressed like any of the above, that is not a style of clothes I wish to wear.

However I would not judge for a second anyone who does wish to dress like that, that is their own choice and good luck to them. Tbh I rarely notice what anyone else is wearing unless it is massively eye catching, I am not really interested.

I don't think it has anything to do with self-respect. From reading this thread, it seems that some people simply don't think about which bra goes with which dress, and don't care what they look like to other people.

Saying it's related to self respect is OTT and inflammatory.

Birds - don't be ridiculous. We all have bigger and other concerns than underwear. But this is a thread about underwear.

Birds... I think you're being oversensitive. Most women have bigger things going on in their lives than the bras other women expose. Your comment was unfair and completely unjustified. Should we now have some kind of 'raw deal' competition? A boob-swinging contest? Bra-straps at dawn?

I think you can rest assured (as can everybody else) that the posters who air their dissatisfaction here wouldn't do so in real life. Cowardice or self-preservation or just the need to have a pop anonymously... who can say? It's a nothing really and, if you are the sort to allow people's views on a chatboard to affect your real life, it would behove you to stay off the board for your own sake because there will always be silly opinions that don't matter unless you make them matter.

I respect myself enough to not want my poor boobs to feel squished and mangled in the wrong size bra. Bras in my size often have large straps. If someone sees a small bit of fabric, and judges me to "not respect myself" because of it, that is entirely their problem

I would go as far as including underskirts and pants as well.

Lack of self respect for showing off bra straps?

No, I think some might say for being badly turned out/groomed/dressed.

No, it isn't

Yes, it is spectacularly nasty. nastu and completely irrelevant.

Try getting up of a morning and get yourself about your business, whilst trying to be kind and non judgemental and stop with the assumptions.

I do.

Lashes - did you even read the OP?

Nobody is talking about thick bra straps being a problem and showing a "small bit of fabric." As an FF cup, I have the same issue.

The thread was about wearing an ordinary bra with a strapless dress. Or a backless dress. Or a halterneck. To quote the OP, she was not referring to "a bra strap peeping out on a shoulder."

But the thread has gone rather weird, and seems to be morphing into something else entirely.

These are people (although female) that have whole lives going on. Some of us have bigger/other concerns than underwear.

As do I.

Bird my dh works with adults with severe learning disabilities, it doesn't make you holier than thou, you still have plenty of space in your head for trivia including being a bit judgy about other peoples clothing choices on occasions ( crap cyclists in full team sky / gb kit brings out the worst in him!)

Running, I've done that before, but to be fair I wouldn't do it normally. I've only done it recently because I'm pregnant and refuse to buy maternity clothes/bras etc as I'm 32 weeks and it seems like a waste of money to start now, so I make do with what I've got.

Until bras are made widely available in all styles and sizes, you can't blame people for thinking "fuck it" and showing straps on a strapless top.

Bikeandrun - there's a "full kit wankers" Facebook page your DH might like. They give me the rage too.

Especially when they turn up at a spinning class at the gym in full Team Sky kit and road shoes, and proceed to clip onto the spinning bikes...then go so slowly, with no resistance on, that they don't even break a sweat!

Thank you for this thread Sweary. I have just ordered a converter from EBay. I've been wearing a halterneck with (coordinating) bra straps on show...I'd never given it much thought. Strapless have never worked out for me...

YANBU OP - I agree with your thinking, anyway.

Thanks running, KOM shirt ( except on a small child!) really makes me chuckle!

wow, this thread is fascinating. yes, i too am huge of nork and often show parts of my bra in outfits - and i don't care. self-respect = not tied to what other people think in my book.

I'd sort of agree with you, OP, were it not for

• The fact that some women actually don't care, and have a right to dress for comfort not to appease your idea of what looks good.

- The fact that despite being a size 8, I'm a 30E, and can I find a nice multiway bra in my price range? Can I find even a plain one? There is 1 on Figleaves right now that might possibly fit me, for £23.80 in the sale, plus postage, & it has rubbish reviews. Dont assume all women of small build are an a/b/c cup.

• You assume all women have sufficient funds to buy a variety of bras in different styles, colours etc - many of us don't.

If you don't like it, don't look.

I also think it looks shit and I don't wear certain clothes because I couldn't wear a bra with them but wouldn't dream of going without.
I don't care if other people do it, doesn't mean I have to think it looks good anymore than they have to care what I think.

I very much doubt that women put on strapless tops for comfort. :)

And if you can't wear a strapless bra, what are you doing with a strapless top?

I have a great strapless bra, with three widely spaced hooks. I can put straps on it in different positions. It works with virtually all outfits and holds my heavy boobs.

I don't wear strapless tops, though.