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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that if you don't have the appropriate bra don't wear the dress?

268 replies

User543212345 · 05/07/2015 07:53

Out and about yesterday I saw so many women with their bras on show - and not a bra strap peeping out on a shoulder, the whole bloody thing in some cases. Strapless tops with strapped bras, backless dresses with bra straps going across the middle of the back, halter necks with strapped bras, you name it, it was all on show - and in many cases there were combinations of low back, halter straps and a normal bloody bra. This wasn't confined to the young either - so I don't think it was some kind of fashion thing [old gimme emoticon]

It's underwear isn't it? Meaning it goes under the clothes? There are halter neck bras, strapless bras, backless bras etc so it's not like its impossible. I appreciate some dresses/tops aren't designed to be worn with any kind of bra so either go without or don't buy the dress or top! I've put many an item back when I've realised I won't be able to wear sufficient scaffolding support with it.

AIBU to think it's not that hard to dress so your bra isn't totally on show?

OP posts:

MamaLazarou · 06/07/2015 19:02

They do size 40f in Primark now.

FujimotosElixir · 06/07/2015 19:05

i know but u get what u pay for there pfft!

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 06/07/2015 19:45

Yes, by stating exactly what was said on a thread and commenting on it I am "quite blinded"
Would you ever fuck off and stop making personal comments? If you have nothing to say on the actual matter, say nothing.

Lweji · 06/07/2015 19:54

I think we could have a more philosophical discussion about whether a bra can simply be another piece of clothing, or it is still proper underwear.

hippospot · 06/07/2015 21:41

I clearly remember attending my university grad ball and a French exchange student looking around and saying to me, "so many beautiful girls, in beautiful dresses, ruined by the wrong underwear".

blueshoes · 06/07/2015 22:31

hippo, I will get flamed for this but this is something outsiders do notice. I have only noticed this bra expose phenomenon in Britain. I think it is quite refreshing that women can go around looking like this but not a look I would want to emulate.

Lweji · 06/07/2015 22:49

It's a bit cringing here in Portugal too. Older women (older than me, in my 40s) in see-through tops clearly showing their bras. I suppose they probably don't realise before they leave the house.

NotSparta · 07/07/2015 00:05

I suppose it depends on what you want to achieve from your clothes. If its day to day functionality then yes, who gives crap. I'll strut on down to work with a vpl cos I'm not wearing uncomfy pants just for the office.

On holiday I'll wear my bikini with a strapless dress over it because its a holiday.

But if I've spent the money on a nice evening dress for a naice do then I am wearing spanx and the right bra because I wouldn't want the ruin the line of the dress.

LassUnparalleled · 07/07/2015 00:29

Oh I'm with you OP. I really don't see the point in buying a backless/strapless dress and ruining it with a visible bra.

SuperFlyHigh · 08/07/2015 09:51

to everyone who was sooooo concerned about my straps...

well I got a nice strappy jumpsuit the other day and tried it on yesterday with black bandeau top and bra (looked passable you could barely see the bra straps) and then tried it on with strapless bra (ok but a bit much for all day).

and anyway it looked better with the strapless bra. I will look into other strapless bras though the wonderbra one. I don't think some of you realise what a hassle it is getting comfy strapless bras for all day for 28FF/30G my size. It was so much easier when I was a couple of cup sizes smaller to get decent strapless.

Lweji · 08/07/2015 12:18

I actually took the trouble of using one of those strap adaptors that create a racer back because I am wearing a sleeveless top that otherwise would show a little bit of my lovely dark blue bra straps. :)

IceBeing · 08/07/2015 12:33

Are norks now so toxic to the eye that not only must they not be seen in public, but the items of clothing that actually TOUCH them also must not be seen?

How dirty and disgusting women's bodies must be....

Lweji · 08/07/2015 12:38

I think in general it has always been the case that underwear is worn under clothes, not on show.

It has been in fairly recent years (and possibly the 80s) that underwear has prominently been on display. Both boys' pants on show, and women showing thongs and bras.

It's not awful, but in general it looks better if bras, straps or pants are not on display. The same goes for pant lines.

Sansarya · 08/07/2015 13:01

It's nothing to do with being dirty or disgusting! To each their own, but for me, wearing the "wrong" bra with a strapless or backless outfit is the same as wearing socks with strappy sandals. Mind you, I don't think the trend for men to show 4-5 inches of underwear over their trousers is a good look either...

SuperFlyHigh · 08/07/2015 13:03

lweji so are you vpl police too?!

A proper knicker line showing through eg sheer/Lacey clothes isn't good but are you serious re pant lines if they're normal?!

If so please post us your everyday pics with vpl not showing just so we can like check in the intersts of your modesty!

Weebirdie · 08/07/2015 13:34

It's not awful, but in general it looks better if bras, straps or pants are not on display. The same goes for pant lines.

I agree.

Also, rroperty fitting underwear helps to make your clothes sit better, and it really isn't that hard a job to make sure you have no VPL on display.

Weebirdie · 08/07/2015 13:34

sorry, that should have been 'properly'

LassUnparalleled · 08/07/2015 13:40

*Are norks now so toxic to the eye that not only must they not be seen in public, but the items of clothing that actually TOUCH them also must not be seen?

How dirty and disgusting women's bodies must be....*

It has nothing to do with that. If a dress is designed to be backless or halter or off shoulder it was designed for that purpose. It defeats the point of the design. You might as well stick a t-shirt on with it. Of course every one can wear what they want and I wouldn't say anything but I'm still going to think it.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 08/07/2015 13:48

It's a bit like wearing shorts with leggings underneath. Oh wait . . .

Lweji · 08/07/2015 13:57

lweji so are you vpl police too?!

having checked what on earth vpl is...

Just saying that vpl don't look good. Like breasts bursting out of bra cups.

I am currently wearing jeans that don't show vpl, although I'm not sending any pics. :)

It is possible, with the right pants and pants that are not too tight.

Sansarya · 08/07/2015 14:32

Happy to say I've always managed to avoid VPL, and with never going near a thong either!

SuperFlyHigh · 08/07/2015 15:00

Lweji I don't think I have VPL but generally I don't give a flying....

am I supposed to now check all clothes items so they pass the VPL test?!

I know a couple of women who only wear thongs - one wears black ones only... the other wears thongs white ones mainly. I cannot think of anything worse than wearing a cheesecutter thong compared to a pretty floral pair of knickers from Top Shop/M&S/Uniqlo/Accessorize/Sainsbos etc.

SuperFlyHigh · 08/07/2015 15:01

ok maybe I will take a pic - but generally day to day I don't see VPL or stuff that can be seen.

Do you seriously look at others for this?!

Weebirdie · 08/07/2015 15:05

Do you seriously look at others for this?!

Its usually very obvious.

SuperFlyHigh · 08/07/2015 15:13

wee of course it's usually very obvious hence my point actual VPL must be quite rare to see, yes?!

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