Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

To think that you stay with kids when they're sick?

191 replies

DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:10

Yesterday a friend's husband posted a load of photos on Facebook of their 2 kids (3 and 1) covered in chicken pox and looking really unhappy. He commented that they were both really poorly, neither of them can leave the room and that the heat was making it so much worse - nobody sleeping etc. Lots of comments and advice on what to do etc.

Less than 24 hours later she has now posted that she and hubby are off to a hotel 6 miles down the road for a dirty weekend while "grandma deals with the whiny diseased kids". They left over an hour ago and granny has posted saying that they're still crying for their parents.

AIBU to be about this. Poor kids just want mum and dad. All they're interested in is getting their rocks off.

OP posts:

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/07/2015 02:40

Yadnbu op, and the flaming you are getting is ridiculous. Saying that, people take aibu as giving them carte blanche to speak to the op like shit, in a way that I'm pretty certain that they wouldn't have the balls to do in real life.

As someone whose ds3 was hospitalised with septic shock and pneumonia as a direct consequence of chicken pox, I wouldn't even consider prioritising cocktails and a shag over my ill children. (I mean, most hotels won't charge anything as long as you cancel 24hrs in advance, and the kids have certainly been ill for at least 24hrs). And to actually post on Facebook that I would? Downright trashy and embarrassing. Poor grandmother as well - I'm sure she travelled a few thousand miles to be left with two ill crying littlies!

The only thing I would say is that I probably would dump these friends, because they don't really sound like they have similar values to me, or by the sounds of it, to you.

NobodyLivesHere · 04/07/2015 02:43

The whiny diseased kids thing is the kind of thing I say all the time. On Facebook, in real life, wherever. Ive often posted that I want to smother Dd1 when she's coughing cos of her asthma for example. Its a joke. I say it TO MY FRIENDS, who know me and are aware that it is a joke. If it's not your sense of humour, fine, but please let's use common sense that they don't actually mean their kids are diseased.
Also, we have no idea if they ignored the grandmas post. They have this thing called phones. They may have phoned 39 secs later.

Lweji · 04/07/2015 06:53

I'm the type of person who jokingly called ds, when pregnant, a parasite. In private, not on fb for Al to see.
And whiny diseased kid would be the last thing I'd say about an ill ds.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 04/07/2015 07:05

I have a horribly dry and morbid sense of humour. To the point of being inappropriate at times. At no point would I refer to any of my dcs as whiny diseased kids.

Onecurrantbun · 04/07/2015 07:27

I think leaving distressed, unwell children (well, a child and a baby, really) to go for a weekend away is vvu. It isn't a popular view on MN (sadly) but sometimes - dare I say it, often - kids have to come first. That's being a parent.

Tooooooohot · 04/07/2015 08:33

Op- yanbu. Parents are selfish and twatty. I feel for the poor gm

TendonQueen · 04/07/2015 09:05

This is another instance of what someone brilliantly called the 'competitive laissez-faire' you see on MN, with people falling over themselves to say how they'd happily go off and leave their sick kids. It's then followed by all sorts of ridiculous justifications that are highly unusual and unlikely to apply ('maybe it's a once in a lifetime anniversary trip!') and notions of all the things that are worse than this (eg judging, talking about people's lives online, being a 'mummy martyr'). So then you end up with the insane motion that the OP is the selfish and thoughtless one, not the people who dumped their sick kids on someone else so they could have a weekend away that was perfectly re-arrangable. It's a strange effect this place has on people - all eager to queue up and say how cool they are by their willingness to go away at what is the wrong time for it.

Caboodle · 04/07/2015 10:21

Bloody helll....wtf is happening to aibu? tendonquenn is spot on....plus the need for some who just have to disagree with the OP.
The only 'drip' was Grandma is from USA, the rest was just OP answering questions.
OP yanbu at all. I would not leave mine in this case.

Klayden · 04/07/2015 11:17

AIBU has become even more ridiculous. OPs are expecting people to agree and others pile in, stating that those who disagree are either bullies or saying YABU to purposely obtuse. The parents did this and obviously feel it was OK, so is it that much of a stretch to think that other some people would agree?

I would not leave my sick children but I panic when they're ill because of an experience with my daughter. I don't think not judging someone who would makes me competitively laissez-faire. I think OP is BU to judge. Who the fuck knows what really goes on in someone's life? Facebook is a tiny snapshot.

Caboodle · 04/07/2015 12:29

Nah I'm not having that. It's not that people disagree.. it's that they give ridiculous reasons for disagreeing (some v unlikely but just possible situation) and that they say 'what business is it of yours OP?' If we all only stuck to our own business there would be no aibu! The irony.....

PrettyObvious · 04/07/2015 13:06

What I do not understand is, why us this your problem?

Tequilashotfor1 · 04/07/2015 13:13

We have no one that could have dd2 over night and if we did we wouldn't leave her if she was ill. We just wouldnt. I wouldn't feel a martyr over it either. We can have a shag any time.

This weekend a friend of mine posted a pic of her child with a newly broke arm in a cast. The poor child's face is contorted in pain. How I didn't ring her up and tell her to get it the fuck off I don't know.

So On that case YANBU

Tequilashotfor1 · 04/07/2015 13:18

nobodylives that's a horrible sense of humour you have. I hope that your poor child has never heard that you want to smother her because if her fatal breathing condition.

ShuShuFontana · 04/07/2015 13:24

ahhh, just think, in another year the OP can be back

parents leave 4 year, 2 year and 3month old with grandma to go shagging and boozing......maybe next year they can all have measles and the baby can be ebf?

On the whole I'd say it's none of your business, and if you are so het up about it then tell them off, bad form to be posting fb updates and imo drip feeding.

vvega · 04/07/2015 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigsDOfly · 04/07/2015 15:16

Aah, what you don't understand Vvega is that the people who post on AIBU, or many of them, it would seem, never judge people or have an opinion on other people's behaviour; they are open minded people who accept all and every person's view.

They are paragons of virtue, going about their lives with blue birds flying over their heads, a song in their hearts and on their lips and a good word for all.

That's why they can keep posting nasty comments about the OP and go on repeatedly telling her that it's not her business, that she should butt out, and slagging her off for judging this couple.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8