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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you stay with kids when they're sick?

191 replies

DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:10

Yesterday a friend's husband posted a load of photos on Facebook of their 2 kids (3 and 1) covered in chicken pox and looking really unhappy. He commented that they were both really poorly, neither of them can leave the room and that the heat was making it so much worse - nobody sleeping etc. Lots of comments and advice on what to do etc.

Less than 24 hours later she has now posted that she and hubby are off to a hotel 6 miles down the road for a dirty weekend while "grandma deals with the whiny diseased kids". They left over an hour ago and granny has posted saying that they're still crying for their parents.

AIBU to be Hmm about this. Poor kids just want mum and dad. All they're interested in is getting their rocks off. Sad

OP posts:
SeraOfeliaFalfurrias · 03/07/2015 16:32

There is also the possibility that they are taking this weekend to go somewhere quiet and free from distractions to discuss something vital and life-changing that you know nothing about.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 03/07/2015 16:35

They are 6 miles away not 60, if they need to get home in a hurry they can be there in the blink of an eye.

wannabestressfree · 03/07/2015 16:36

Actually I agree with you....

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:36

There is also the possibility that they are taking this weekend to go somewhere quiet and free from distractions to discuss something vital and life-changing that you know nothing about.

They've gone from the suburbs to a major city that will be crawling with hen and stag parties and 24/7 revellers, so I doubt it but shall report back on the inevitable FB updates if you're right

OP posts:
Bellebella · 03/07/2015 16:36

It depends really for me, if it has been booked a while and if I knew ds would be ok. Chicken pox can range so one day a child may really suffer from it and another will be relatively fine. With my mum, ds would be fine because she has him a lot so I would diffo leave him with her.

It is tacky though having it all over FB

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 03/07/2015 16:37

The fact that the other granny gets lots of time with her grandkids could be more of a reason for this granny to have time with them too.

whereismagic · 03/07/2015 16:38

Well, we are not talking intensive care or suspected meningitis. Instead of judging her just find somebody who can do the same for you.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:39

There are people other than you who are perfectly capable of taking care of your children, sick or not. To assume you are the only one who can do it properly or offer them comfort is nothing less than martyrdom and/or arrogance.

When DD is poorly (rarely, luckily) she only wants DH or me 99% of the time me Not her beloved grandparents, not the neighbours. If she wasn't bothered I wouldn't be, but if I knew she was distressed at being with someone else when she wanted one of us, I wouldn't be going anywhere. That's not martyrdom.

OP posts:
DancingDinosaur · 03/07/2015 16:39

So in these circumstances you wouldn't rearrange, you'd prioritise shagging over 2 sick kids?

Hell yeah. I'd take the weekend away.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:40

Instead of judging her just find somebody who can do the same for you.

Huh?

OP posts:
NinkyNonkers · 03/07/2015 16:40

Yanbu on my opinion.

YUDOTHIS · 03/07/2015 16:40

6 miles at 60 miles an hour means they're 6 minutes away in an emergency, I don't know what sort of roads there are between their home and their hotel but the longest they'll take is 12 minutes. Butt out, Its not up to you to agree. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it myself but I refuse to condemn others for doing it.

Pagalee · 03/07/2015 16:41

None of your business, OP.

They're 6 miles down the road and their kids are with a loving and presumably willing grandparent...cant see any problem. I'd go.

Sallystyle · 03/07/2015 16:42

I wouldn't do it, but wouldn't judge others who would.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/07/2015 16:42

You're being unreasonble. And curtain twitchy. Whether or not they get a day or two off anyway thanks to grandma, doesn't mean they shouldn't jump at the oppertunity for other grandma to do the same. I would, with bells on. Yes I'd feel a bit guilty, but I'd probably feel a bit guilty even if they were a picture of health. They have a caring, responsible, adult around. I see no problems.

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 03/07/2015 16:43

Stop judging other people.....you clearly have no life of your own.

The kids are hardly dying, are they?

Somebody is jealous that they get no weekend away, huh?

NickiFury · 03/07/2015 16:43

I wouldn't do it and I would be a bit Hmm about parents who did.

Not enough to start a thread on MN though.

Sallystyle · 03/07/2015 16:43

Sorry. I meant to say I would leave them with my mum because they are very close to them, but I wouldn't leave them with a grandparent they rarely see and not that close to if they were sick.

Thurlow · 03/07/2015 16:44

DP and I went to a weekend long wedding when DD had chickenpox and left her with my parents.

Didn't realise this was wrong...

choccywoccywoowah · 03/07/2015 16:44

My son had a viral infection when it was my partners 40th. Did we cancel? No! Did we publicise it on facebook? No!

You are both BU.

Do you think you are a better parent because of this or something?

RooftopCat · 03/07/2015 16:44

YABU to stick your nose in tbh
How is the OP sticking her nose in? The friend posted it on Facebook. The OP has made comment on this forum not directly back to the friend.

I think the way it's been posted on FB comes across as unfeeling. But yeah, I'd probably still go if it had been booked and paid for.

Meechimoo · 03/07/2015 16:44

Of course you're not being unreasonable. But 90% of mumsnetters will think it's fine to dump sick kids on grandparents and update Facebook with tacky statusesGrin

Fallout4 · 03/07/2015 16:46

It's funny how on another thread people were happily agreeing to dump a friend on a night out when the dc were sick but dirty weekends trump sick dc.
Huh interesting Hmm
I wouldn't have gone because I wouldn't be able enjoy myself regardless of how long the hotel had been booked and planned for. As a parent my dc trump everything.

YUDOTHIS · 03/07/2015 16:46

She's sticking her nose in by A- Having an opinion on someone elses parenting when she doesn't actually know THAT much (how do you know Grand parents aren't close to DC for example? they may skype 3 times a week like my mil from aus does!) and B- writing a thread on here about it.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 03/07/2015 16:47

I think the parents are selfish in the extreme. They are their kids, when they are ill they should deal with them. totally unfair on the GM too.