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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you stay with kids when they're sick?

191 replies

DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:10

Yesterday a friend's husband posted a load of photos on Facebook of their 2 kids (3 and 1) covered in chicken pox and looking really unhappy. He commented that they were both really poorly, neither of them can leave the room and that the heat was making it so much worse - nobody sleeping etc. Lots of comments and advice on what to do etc.

Less than 24 hours later she has now posted that she and hubby are off to a hotel 6 miles down the road for a dirty weekend while "grandma deals with the whiny diseased kids". They left over an hour ago and granny has posted saying that they're still crying for their parents.

AIBU to be Hmm about this. Poor kids just want mum and dad. All they're interested in is getting their rocks off. Sad

OP posts:
DimpleHands · 03/07/2015 19:48

Jeez, some nasty comments on here.

I agree with you OP. They sound selfish and lacking in compassion to me.

Icimoi · 03/07/2015 19:49

There is a case for saying that if you broadcast all these details on your Facebook page, then you really cannot say that it is none of the business of those who read them. After all, you've made it their business.

CrapBag · 03/07/2015 19:50

A lot of you need to wind your necks in. God there are some twats about on AIBU who purely look to stick the boot in regardless of the subject.

OP, YANBU. As a parent your children should come first especially when they are younger. I couldn't settle away from my children if I knew they were ill and only wanted me, regardless of it only being 6 miles.

I would also judge a parent who did do this. Sometimes I don't believe what people say they would do on here. So there are loads of you that would put a shag and dirty weekend (that you do actually get once a month anyway so it's not even a one off) above your children when they needed you.

It makes me laugh, when there are threads on asking if GPs etc should look after their children the opinion is ALWAYS that the person is BU and it's not their children or responsibility, that's the parents job, yet now parents are free to shirk their responsibilities for a fucking shag. Hmm Double standards much (as usual).

DimpleHands · 03/07/2015 19:51

Oh and I HATE the phrase "mummy martyr". Since when did putting your child's interests ahead of your own become being a martyr?

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 19:53

The parents didn't make it our business Though. Their kind friend the OP decided to be a good trusting friend and share it with us while calling them bad parents. I won't judge them but I will judge that the op is a shitty friend for doing that.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 19:56

I've not named them........

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 03/07/2015 19:58

She didn't post their names and address, Regina. And judging by this thread; it's such a reasonable, everyday thing to do, people do it all the time without a second thought, making it even less likely for them to be hunted down identified in real life.
Could be any one of you.

NobodyLivesHere · 03/07/2015 19:59

Whether I'd have gone very much depends on many factors, how ill the kids were, how badly I needed the break, how much I trusted the person caring for the kids. None of these things we actually know.

SoftSheen · 03/07/2015 20:00

YA definitely NBU.

There is no way I would leave a sick child (and definitely not a sick baby, which cannot easily communicate its needs), with someone they don't know very well, unless it was absolutely unavoidable.

The parents are selfish and lacking in compassion.

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 20:00

No you haven't but let's face it there is enough info on here that if she or one of her FB friends is a mumsnetter they will know who it is.

Do you think this thread makes you a good friend OP?
You may think they are shit parents and you have judged them. Well I think you are a shit friend and I have judged you, I bet they would agree with me.

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 20:04

Info on this couple.

The children are under 3 youngest is 1 I think.
Grandma lives in the U.S. and is over here visiting.
They have posted pics of spotty kids on FB.
They live in a town which is soon to lose its hospital and the nearest one is 30 minutes by ambulance in the next big city.
They have booked in a hotel which is 6 miles away for the weekend.

I am pretty sure I would recognise from that if it was me or one of my FB friends.

bimandbam · 03/07/2015 20:11

Not rtft but op YANBU.

I remember being ill as a child and you only really want your mum. I remember feeling really fucking terrible 3 days post c section at 27 years old and wanting my mum.

Will the dcs be permanently traumatised from it? Probably not but they will be less miserable with their parents around.

JockTamsonsBairns · 03/07/2015 20:12

Ffs, this whole thing of people living out their lives in full view of Facebook these days is really beginning to grate on my nerves. It's a piece of nonsense. Does nothing ever happen within the privacy of people's own homes any more, without being held up to the light for others to hold in judgement? I mean, why would this situation even need to be discussed publically, with photos, descriptions and gory details? Regardless of the rights and wrongs of it, who's ill, who's shagging, who's babysitting, who else would do it, and who else wouldn't dream of it.

OP, whether you're BU or NBU - don't let it bother you so much. It's really none of your, or our, business.

TwinTum · 03/07/2015 20:14

Well I went to work when DC had the pox (7 miles always). Mil looked after them. Is that unusual?

Marmiteandjamislush · 03/07/2015 20:15

YANBU!! Horrible behaviour on the part of these parents, imho. The children are very young and probably don't really know that the woman, they've been left dumped with is 'Grandma', if they have no hands on experience of her at that age, IYSWIM. They'll be itchy, hot, disorientated and likely a bit scared Sad. I also think it's not fair on DGM either, my DS1 was a devil when he had pox, he didn't sleep for a week, screamed for hours and ate very little. He brought us to our knees! I couldn't imagine dealing with that in an unfamiliar house with no support. I'm judging with you.

Floggingmolly · 03/07/2015 20:17

They're too busy shagging to care, Regina. Isn't that the whole point?

susiedaisy · 03/07/2015 20:21

Yanbu op I couldn't enjoy myself if my kids were ill when I was away, not at that age anyway. My ds2 ended up in hospital when he had chicken pox.

googoodolly · 03/07/2015 20:22

Well I went to work when DC had the pox (7 miles always). Mil looked after them. Is that unusual?

Going to work is a bit more important than a weekend away, surely?

susiedaisy · 03/07/2015 20:25

If the youngest child is only 1 years old he or she won't have a bloody clue who the granny from America is unless said granny has been in the UK for weeks already.

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 20:26

No idea. I would care if I knew this thread was about me or one of my friends. I think the OP was wrong to post so much information about this family.
She could have asked the same AIBU without all the identifiable details but in her bid to convince everyone they are shit parents and she was right she has given away too much.

You should feel quite bad about that OP I would.

TwinkieTwinkle · 03/07/2015 20:28

Oooooooh talk about judgey pants! YABU.

CheeseandGherkins · 03/07/2015 20:28

I wouldn't do it. Yanbu.

TheHormonalHooker · 03/07/2015 20:31

Regina I think you are over invested in this thread. For all you know the children might be 2&4, granny might be over from Australia and the couple might be in a hotel in a little village 10 miles away from a city. You don't know that the OP hasn't changed all the details already.

chewymeringue · 03/07/2015 20:33

I don't like it when people post about poorly or upset children on fbook in a jokey way like that. I've seen it a few times and it makes me feel really sad. Then the later post by the grandmother saying that the children are still crying was horrible.

I often left Dd with my parents if she was ill and had to work (when I was a single mum) but I wouldn't go anywhere else if she was ill and unhappy. Christ, putting your child first when they're ill is your job. Mainly though I hate the pasting it all over fbook.

ScrumpyBetty · 03/07/2015 20:33

None of us know anything about this situation so it is not for us to judge.
When my DS had chickenpox he was a bit itchy, but absolutely fine otherwise. If I had a caring grandmother who was willing to look after him, I would have been fine leaving him for a night.
When DS had d&v in Nov though, he was properly ill and there is no way I would have left him with anybody else.