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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you stay with kids when they're sick?

191 replies

DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:10

Yesterday a friend's husband posted a load of photos on Facebook of their 2 kids (3 and 1) covered in chicken pox and looking really unhappy. He commented that they were both really poorly, neither of them can leave the room and that the heat was making it so much worse - nobody sleeping etc. Lots of comments and advice on what to do etc.

Less than 24 hours later she has now posted that she and hubby are off to a hotel 6 miles down the road for a dirty weekend while "grandma deals with the whiny diseased kids". They left over an hour ago and granny has posted saying that they're still crying for their parents.

AIBU to be Hmm about this. Poor kids just want mum and dad. All they're interested in is getting their rocks off. Sad

OP posts:
Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 17:20

If the weekend was booked and paid for and they were staying with a trusted person then yes I would. My ex and I during 14 years of marriage only managed 5 nights away together and that includes a 2 day honeymoon.
Maybe that is why we're are now getting divorced who knows.

If it was just a childhood illness yes hospitalisation/serious then no.

morethanpotatoprints · 03/07/2015 17:21

I wouldn't have left mine if they were sick, unless it was something that had cost a fortune.
Then it would depend on how ill they were.
Chicken pox can be really bad for some whilst others seem to have a bit of illness and cope quite well.

LokiBear · 03/07/2015 17:25

I wouldn't leave dd.

lljkk · 03/07/2015 17:27

Blimey, DH can cycle 6 miles in about 15 minutes. How does the ambulance with blue lights turn it into 30 minutes?

I'm kind of on the fence. If parents are exhausted by poorly sleeping kids, maybe they need a mental break and they aren't truly far away by any standards. Gold star for the American granny taking all that on, btw. Because the kids will have each other it won't be as weird to have slightly-stranger granny there.

Klayden · 03/07/2015 18:40

Perhaps they already booked/paid and didn't think it was worth cancelling for what is, for most, a minor childhood illness. Unless, of course, you're going to drip feed that they're multi-millionaires who could easily afford to throw away the cash.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 18:41

Blimey, DH can cycle 6 miles in about 15 minutes. How does the ambulance with blue lights turn it into 30 minutes?

Weight of traffic needing to move out of the way, number of traffic lights (bunching traffic up and making it harder to get through), traffic lights deliberately timed so that traffic gets stopped at every one, not being able to filter past traffic like a person on a bike can.........

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 03/07/2015 18:58

blimey what a weird thread!

I think it sounds horrible to leave your ill children with a grandmother they hardly see.

I know chicken pox can be mild, but it can also be bloody painful and make you feel like crap (especially in this heat), and can become dangerous pretty quickly.

I don't really see why everyone is having such a go at the op?

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 19:00

Thank you.

It's the 1 year old that seems to be suffering the most. He is only just 1 and so can't talk well, has a mouth full of spots, off his food and drink etc.

OP posts:
LapsedTwentysomething · 03/07/2015 19:09

YANBU OP. It's unfair on the kids who just want their parents and the gran who's stuck with unhappy GC.

But as usual the boorish Mumsnet massive love to pile in and give the OP a good kicking. I really need to stay away from here don't I?

LapsedTwentysomething · 03/07/2015 19:11

hazeyjane you're right, responses on this thread are weird. I don't know if it's the heat but AIBU is a vile place these last few days.

Pagalee · 03/07/2015 19:20

Because its NONE of the OP's business to judge other peoples perfectly reasonable parenting decisions?

I think people who are 'mummy martyrs' and never get a babysitter and go out are bloody weird...but I (usually!) keep my opinions to myself, especially with supposed friends.

ScrumpyBetty · 03/07/2015 19:22

disappointed you seem to have made up your mind already so I do t know why you even bothered posting on AiBU

But...YABU...the children have been left with loving grandparents, it isn't the end of the world. What they wrote on facebook was a bit tacky, but it is none of your business, so butt out and quit judging other people's children.

ScrumpyBetty · 03/07/2015 19:24

Agree pagalee

because it is none of the OP's business to judge other people's perfectly reasonable parenting decisions

mikado1 · 03/07/2015 19:29

I think taking pictures of sick children (or anyone) is very weird and unreasonable.

puremuscle · 03/07/2015 19:31

I'm surprised that so many people seem to thing that this is reasonable behaviour.
The two children may not be seriously ill but chicken pox can be really distressing and cause quite a lot of suffering for a few days and nights.
I find it really crass to post pictures of poorly children on FB and then to post that they are leaving grandma to cope with the 'whiny diseased kids'.
For that remark alone I think YANBU.
They also don't know this grandmother well and the couple get v regular time alone compared to most couples so pretty selfish not to sacrifice one weekend for distressed small children.
The friend has also chosen to publicise the whole thing by posting on FB which invites comment anyway so unfair to accuse the OP of not minding hr own business.
Pagalee is not less judgemental calling people 'mummy martyrs' for not getting a babysitter when there may be lots of reasons for this. The OP hasn't said anything to her friend either so the judging is exactly the same in both situations yet this friend has chosen to publicise the whole thing on FB and is being v selfish imo.

NobodyLivesHere · 03/07/2015 19:34

I'd imagine the 'diseased kids' thing was this new invention called humour.

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 19:35

Again the parents posted it on their private FB so no they didn't then invite their friend Hmm the OP to go and public ally judge them on MN.

mamaneedsamojito · 03/07/2015 19:37

I'd have stayed with the kids.

PigPlopper · 03/07/2015 19:38

When my DS had chicken pox he was really quite ill and very weak, needed a trip to the docs, antibiotics for fear of infection and there's no way I would have left him (but then not close to grandparents either - so that wouldn't have been an option).
I wouldn't leave an ill child, nor would they want me to leave them. I couldn't have enjoyed a night/nights away with ill children at home.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 03/07/2015 19:39

puremuscle has it spot on but says it so much better than me. Sad

TheHormonalHooker · 03/07/2015 19:43

I wouldn't have gone and we never had the chance of weekends away.

DS2 was really, really poorly when he got chicken pox at 14 months. MIL wouldn't have minded looking after him (my mum would) and she would have been perfectly capable, but he wanted me not her so I would have stayed at home.

NinkyNonkers · 03/07/2015 19:44

They're 3 and 1! 5 yrs older maybe, but they're tiny and need their parents, not a barely known relative. That's not martyrdom, just consideration.

Floggingmolly · 03/07/2015 19:45

There's a whole world of difference between never getting a babysitter and going out; and buggering off for the weekend leaving not one but two sick kids behind, Pagalee.
Didn't you get that it was the "diseased" children that made the difference in this scenario???

SaulGood · 03/07/2015 19:47

No I wouldn't leave my children when they're ill. I know that some people happily do but for me it feels intrinsically, irrefutably, wrong.

This is AIBU though. Your thread won't be finished until your character has been assassinated, the bedrock of your existence decimated and your every life choice scrutinised and ridiculed.

Stealthpolarbear · 03/07/2015 19:48

" the longest they'll take is 12 minutes. "
Not if they're mid shag when the call comes :o