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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you stay with kids when they're sick?

191 replies

DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:10

Yesterday a friend's husband posted a load of photos on Facebook of their 2 kids (3 and 1) covered in chicken pox and looking really unhappy. He commented that they were both really poorly, neither of them can leave the room and that the heat was making it so much worse - nobody sleeping etc. Lots of comments and advice on what to do etc.

Less than 24 hours later she has now posted that she and hubby are off to a hotel 6 miles down the road for a dirty weekend while "grandma deals with the whiny diseased kids". They left over an hour ago and granny has posted saying that they're still crying for their parents.

AIBU to be Hmm about this. Poor kids just want mum and dad. All they're interested in is getting their rocks off. Sad

OP posts:
Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 22:46

See what I mean about adding bits to bump up the drama Hmm

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 22:47

I am not going to say it but this has all the makings of one of those threads Confused

WhyTheDrama · 03/07/2015 22:48

In fact I don't believe any parent would post that their kids were 'Whiny and deseased^. Unless it was a wind-up or joke.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 22:52

She posted that she'd "finally had chance to pack for their trip. Goodbye, whiny diseased kids, hello dirty weekend" and then she did a post checking in to the hotel they've gone to about an hour later (which is how I know where it is - we spent our wedding night there.). In the meantime people had been posting "have fun" etc and someone asked "how are they doing?" (meaning the kids) which is what the grandmother replied to.

OP posts:
Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 22:56

I don't know what your problem is Regina but I'm just answering questions as they come up. (Or am I expected to foresee them all and thus cover it all in the OP somehow? Hmm)

OP posts:
Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 23:01

You are my problem. You have posted info about your friend (and no I don't believe you changed any details) just to get a bunch of strangers to agree with you that they are shit parents.

Do you have the guts to tell them this to their face?
Do you have the guts to delete them from FBbecause their parenting choices are so bad?

No. You instead put personal stuff about them on here so a bunch of strangers can call them names, judge how much they love their children and make you feel superior.

Is that enough explanation for you?

WhyTheDrama · 03/07/2015 23:10

OP, hopefully you have changed details but you have previously posted a lot of info about yourself Confused I know some MN'ers dissaprove but I think it a good idea to name change before posting such a personal thread criticising someone else.

OP - I still think it's a wind up - the Facebook updates are too bizarre - do your 'friends' have form for this type of behaviour?

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 23:14

Well, Regina, who is forcing you to read it?

OP posts:
Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 23:16

Why I don't think they're doing it as a wind up. They are the sort of people that post every minute detail of their days on FB. I usually don't pay a lot of attention, but these posts caught my eye and got me thinking.

I have changed some details, but as I say, not by much.

OP posts:
ColdTeaAgain · 03/07/2015 23:16

Fuck me, AIBU is the worst of mumsnet isn't it?? Everytime I decide to have a nose on this board a see thread like this and remember while I usually avoid it!

Firstly why is the OP being told to mind her own business? These people broadcast it on facebook so presumably they want everyone to know! Confused

Secondly am just amazed how many think it's normal so be able to away and enjoy yourself when your small children are poorly. No chicken pox isn't major but it's bloody miserable and a one year suffering and crying for their parents whilst they go off and put themselves first is rather sad.

YANBU OP.

This thread is weird.

ColdTeaAgain · 03/07/2015 23:21

Excuse the crap typing!

WhyTheDrama · 03/07/2015 23:24

OP, maybe you should get the thread pulled then. Confused. How would you feel if they found out you posted this?

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 23:28

Nobody is forcing me....what a stupid thing to say. You have posted on an open forum to illicit responses from strangers. I am one of them. I just happen to disagree with your thread and think what you have done to people YOU called friends is low. Lower than what they have done in fact, as you have done this behind their back. At least they were open enough to put it on FB so their family and friends could see it. You on the other hand......

AmysTiara · 03/07/2015 23:29

Regina is strangely over invested in this situation. Weird Confused

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 23:32

Why am I over invested? Because I have posted a lot? And what business is that of yours. Why should you care if I am over invested. Is it a crime?

Why even bother to make that comment it is pointless and means nothing.

Nanny0gg · 03/07/2015 23:36

Regina - if everyone followed the 'code' you seem to think is correct (ie don't post about other people) most online forums (especially AIBU) would die.

People do pass judgement on others. The old-fashioned way was gossip with friends and family. If the OP did that, the people she is discussing would most definitely be identified. This way they've more chance of staying anonymous!

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 23:42

Of course they do and this could have been AIBU without all the personal details the OP has posted. It is not the question I am against it is the amount of detail she hAs posted about people she calls friends just so she can convince everyone they are shit parents. She thinks they are but she hasn't the guts to tell them to their face or delete them from FB. Instead she posts info on here about her friends just so others can validate her opinion.

That to me is low and she has no right to call them friends. I value my friendships and I respect them.

Lweji · 03/07/2015 23:42

Which responses were illicit?
Any deleted posts? Grin

I hope you are not the mother, Regina.

I might go away when my child was poorly, and even on a "dirty" weekend, but call a sick child whinny is just, well, sick.

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 23:46

I have already listed the info which makes the posters friends identifiable to anyone who knows them. MN has many members how is the OP so sure none of the friends FB buddies are Mumsnetters?

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 23:58

Thank you for the dig. I obviously meant elicit but my iPad hates me so does what it pleases. Low blow really sort of puts you on the same level as the OP. Hmm

Lweji · 04/07/2015 00:00

Lighten up. :)

Reginafalangie · 04/07/2015 00:07

I need to lighten up? You are the one who took the opportunity to have a dig at a spelling mistake. Take your own advice maybe?

Lweji · 04/07/2015 00:47

Because it was a funny typo. :)

I'm sure a good night sleep will help.

butterfly133 · 04/07/2015 00:55

YANBU OP

I think that's mean to go away when kids have that. Also, how awful to put pics on Facebook. Poor kids.

VeloWoman · 04/07/2015 01:20

YANBU, when my children are sick they only want mummy, not even their dad will do. I have a one year old and there is no way I would leave him when he is ill, a one year old is a baby! They cannot communicate their needs very well and they need a parent with them IMO.

Also chickenpox is not always a mild/harmless disease, I have known two toddlers require admission to hospital and IV fluids with it and occasionally it can spread to the lungs which can be very serious and of course there is the tiny but not non existent number of people that have died after contracting chickenpox.

TBH these people sound trashy and I would judge them for having such little empathy for their own children and then make it clear they were no longer my friends.