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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you stay with kids when they're sick?

191 replies

DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:10

Yesterday a friend's husband posted a load of photos on Facebook of their 2 kids (3 and 1) covered in chicken pox and looking really unhappy. He commented that they were both really poorly, neither of them can leave the room and that the heat was making it so much worse - nobody sleeping etc. Lots of comments and advice on what to do etc.

Less than 24 hours later she has now posted that she and hubby are off to a hotel 6 miles down the road for a dirty weekend while "grandma deals with the whiny diseased kids". They left over an hour ago and granny has posted saying that they're still crying for their parents.

AIBU to be Hmm about this. Poor kids just want mum and dad. All they're interested in is getting their rocks off. Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 16:48

6 miles at 60 miles an hour means they're 6 minutes away in an emergency, I don't know what sort of roads there are between their home and their hotel but the longest they'll take is 12 minutes.

Takes an ambulance a minimum of 30 minutes with blue lights on.

Butt out, Its not up to you to agree.

I haven't actually butted in..........

OP posts:
YUDOTHIS · 03/07/2015 16:49

Fallout- If the parents WANT to stay home they can do so without feeling guilty, same goes if they want to go. Its horses for courses as stated im not saying one should do either option(thats my take on it, others may be different)

Teabagbeforemilk · 03/07/2015 16:50

Unintentional. Sorry. I forget that this site likes chapter and verse upfront.

Yabu for this statement...there are no sites quite like mn.

Tbh I probably wouldn't do it, sil and dbro did. I didn't judge them for it. Mum and dad were ok with looking after their sick kids so I feel a bit 'meh' about it. Non of my business though. I can't seem to find it in me to care what other parents do, unless the kids are in danger. Which they aren't

YUDOTHIS · 03/07/2015 16:53

I really do fail to see how it'll take an ambulance 30 minutes with blue lights on or how you'd know that.

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 16:53

Just realised she is your "friend" so why not tell her to her face what a shit parent she is instead of coming on here trying to get a load of people she doesn't know to agree with you?

Or is slagging your friend off behind her back just your style OP?
She is so lucky to have a "friend" like you Hmm

arethereanyleftatall · 03/07/2015 16:55

I wouldn't do it.
I don't want to be away from my dc when they're poorly, and they don't want me to be either.
Tacky to post on fb too.

pigsDOfly · 03/07/2015 16:55

Don't know why so many posters are telling the OP to butt out. She's just saying how she views this, she isn't saying she's going to give the couple a rocket for going off when their kids are unwell. And given that the woman has plastered it all over FB surely she's inviting people to have an opinion on what she's doing.

I agree with you OP. I would never have left my children in these circumstances and if the children are still crying for their parents over an hour after they left it sounds as if the children aren't happy either.

As a fairly new grandmother I would not be happy if my daughter wanted to go off on a jolly and expected me to nurse her sick children; I've done my nursing of crying, ill children.

Poor granny, comes all the way from USA and is expected to look after 2 young children who probably aren't really sure who she is - I'm assuming she lives in America - and who just want their parents when they're feel like shit.

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 03/07/2015 16:56

And 6 miles is NOTHING. Where I go out, it's over 30 miles away.

Do you not have a social life, Op?

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 03/07/2015 16:57

Oh, and I agree with Regina...what a charming friend you are, bitching her off on a forum. I hope she sees this!

FaffingtonBear · 03/07/2015 17:00

I would probably still look to go but I know DH wouldn't...he would want to stay and make sure dc were ok

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 17:00

I really do fail to see how it'll take an ambulance 30 minutes with blue lights on or how you'd know that.

You really don't trust me to know anything, so you? There are plans to close the local hospital and A+E (2 miles away) and send everyone to the hospital in the city concerned. One key objection is the time it would take to travel. Main roads are gridlocked for large parts of the day, smaller roads are country lanes with lots of blind corners and hidden junctions. The ambulance trust tested the various options at different times of the day. It took a minimum of 30 minutes to get to that one hospital from the one they plan to close.

OP posts:
Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 17:02

pigs the mother put this on her own FB so actually no she didn't invite all of our opinions the OP did that by kindly putting her friends business on MN.

The more I read the nastier you sound OP. Do your friend a favour and delete her off FB and explain that you have done so because you cannot help but spread her business over Internet forums and inviting strangers to comment on it.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 03/07/2015 17:02

You rather like judging people don't you OP?

Are you very unhappy in your life?

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 17:04

No, I'm not. Thanks for asking!

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 03/07/2015 17:06

I wouldn't leave my kids when they're ill. Typical response on MN though; around 60 posters saying of course they're right to prioritise shagging over two sick kids! You're just JEALOUS!!...
Even one beaut who claims she wishes she'd prioritised her marriage more Hmm. How many times do your kids get chickenpox??

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 17:08

In total my 4 have had them 6 times possibly 7.

Reginafalangie · 03/07/2015 17:09

Collectively not each!

ouryve · 03/07/2015 17:12

If we had grandparents who could help out we'd be having a dirty weekend - finishing off landscaping the garden :o

Smartiepants79 · 03/07/2015 17:12

It would depend on what was booked. How much it had cost and how easy it would be to rearrange.
I wouldn't give up a weekend abroad but probably wouldn't go if it was just down the road to a hotel.
I'm not sure about prioritising marriage. They are my husbands children too and I would be unimpressed if he thought a dirty weekend was more important than our children's welfare.

msgrinch · 03/07/2015 17:13

Surely the ambulance would take the same amount of time wether the parent is there or not.Confused

anyway yabu.

Lateswim16 · 03/07/2015 17:14

I judge them all for putting such boring status on fb!

Who puts up they are having a dirty weekend and have diseased kids followed by gran posting too.

Yeuk how tacky and sorry mumsnet but as my dcs say how chavvy and Jeremy Kyle.

Floggingmolly · 03/07/2015 17:16

But over their lifetimes; were shagging opportunities really so scarce that you'd scarper during the infinitesimally short periods they were actually sick, Regina?

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 03/07/2015 17:18

Surely the ambulance would take the same amount of time wether the parent is there or not.

The point is that it may only be 6 miles, but it takes a lot more than the 6-12 minutes another poster thought it would take in a car without blue lights and sirens that make other traffic magically disappear

OP posts:
Icimoi · 03/07/2015 17:18

I'm not usually one to make a massive fuss over children's health, but in that situation I'd definitely have stayed with the sick kids. I might have gone out for dinner but not for a whole weekend. When my children were ill they just needed their mum or, at a pinch, their dad, and they would have been really unhappy being with someone they didn't know very well. I wouldn't even have left them with my mother, who they did know well, just because she still wouldn't really have known their likes and dislikes and wouldn't have had the patience to sit reading Thomas the Tank Engine endlessly.

lilacblossomtime · 03/07/2015 17:19

I would stay home with the itchy, whiny dc and mop their fevered little brows, poor little buggers. I don't think that's being a martyr either, just a loving parent. I wouldn't leave a dc too sick to go to a childminder with a not very well known Grandma except in an emergency.

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