to be sick of all the 'othering' on these boards?

[BishopBrennansArse]

I've just about had enough of this and I'm going to tell you why.

I'm disabled. My three children are disabled.
I am a member of this forum just as much as any other person here. My thoughts are just as relevant as yours. My family experiences are just as relevant as any other poster on this board.

How dare you tell me my parenting experience isn't relevant? Parents like me despite being a relative minority aren't that few around here. We have just as much right to share our experiences on these boards as everyone else, it is an open forum.

So how dare you tell me I can't post about cuts to disability provision, services and benefits. They are just as relevant as the experiences of the next parent. They have a place on this forum just as much as the opinions of others. How dare you tell me I can't mention experiences I've had with my children in public on 'naughty child' threads? When these things ACTUALLY HAPPEN and I'm trying to present an alternative view.

Yet you use phrases like 'SN brigade'. You tell us it's 'not about disability' when actually in real life yes it is no matter how much you might think it shouldn't be.

Undermining experiences I've had and other families like mine is downright ignorant. It's othering and bigoted.

I will defend my family forever.

How dare you.

It's kind of interesting too how hostile some posters are to someone from the disabled community being forceful in their view.
I think the world loves us during comic relief or when they are posting stuff on Facebook about 'it takes a special mother to care for a special child'

I have a relative who posts saccharine sweet uplifting posts and then scatters her feed with 'retard' and complains about disabled parking.
It's a peculiar disconnect.

I have been torn apart on these boards for 'banging on' about disabilities, for being boring, for being left wing in my tedious views. I have been told that I shouldn't even consider having internet access or sky television when on benefits (having explained that dh can rarely leave the house) and to stop making every thread about disability or my family because it's not all that interesting. This is usually in response to benefit threads when I chuck my circumstances into the mix in an attempt to demonstrate that we're not all feckless scroungers. There are some very unkind people here.

Yes I have been told I am a "horrible person"when trying to advocate for inclusion. Which is great.

I want us to be able to have robust debate without fear or favour and I welcome views of people with disabilities. Sometimes they have been reminded on threads where those of us who are hugely supportive of austerity measures (i.e. most people in the UK as we voted the Tories in and admire their policies - yes we do exist - we are most people) support our popular stance that things like the changes in housing benefit have an exception for the disabled or that changes to tax credits when they come will affect many many people who are not disabled. However I would never want to stop anyone posting anything. I support the rights of women who stay at home to say I am a cruel child abuser because I chose to go back to work when the babies are 2 weeks old because I think that is best for children and the family and of course support my right to promulgate that view too.

As soon as we start censoring we are as bad as ISIL and Saudi. Je suis Charlie - let us all speak.

I've seen Bishop suffer similar attacks too, as well as others.
Pag you are right (as always) there seems to be some sort of cognitive dissonace. Most odd.

I think sometimes what people mean is 'you are a horrible person who won't stop questioning my shitty views which suit me just fine" tbh.

Fanjo I was told I was "just trying to get my own way" and referred to as a twat when I said people should be more straight up, as they are confusing people with ASD.

Lotus. Go back and take a look at your posts. I don't even know why you are on this thread other than to cause trouble, again. We have reminded you, frequently that the disabled are included in the cuts and that those of you who voted for said austerity measures (which many economists have proven to be ineffectual to say the least and are not supported by the larger financial groups in this country) have also voted to ensure cuts for those with disabilities. Again, cognitive dissonance.

The thing is, especially on the benefit threads, posters who speak up about their RL experiences of disability benefits don't fit in with the OPs agenda.Which is to trot out the 'entitled' bollocks.

All they want is stories about the woman up the road who has 6 kids and has never worked a day in her life.

Oh good lord. 'Je suis Charlie.' Really?

How about just ' try not to be a twat'

Lotus can I also point out your factually incorrect statement "those of us who are hugely supportive of austerity measures (i.e. most people in the UK as we voted the Tories in and admire their policies - yes we do exist - we are most people)". Not "most people", a third of people. Just to be clear

I agree, too: bigotry and exclusion are happening more on MN as in the rest of life. Seems pretty obvious to me; our adorable government and its media-owning friends have been running a deliberate campaign to devalue less-advantaged citizens for five years now.

I think we have a duty to argue with reason, when we can, and even with anger sometimes. A lot of the time, of course, you just have to growl and walk away or hide the thread - because you need to conserve your energies for getting through life with disabilities.

Lotus 30 odd percentage is not most of the UK.
I was born middle class. I don't know anyone at all who voted Tory.

Why would anyone want poor children to be poorer, have lower life chances and less food.
Have adults who were unable to complete education first time round for whatever reason unable to retrain because they can't afford and budgets have been slashed.
A world where people live or die based on what health care they can afford.
A place where disabled people are left to struggle because they don't tick the right boxes.

Or are you of the benefits Britain type watching people who believes the poor are only poor because they are lazy and haven't worked hard enough.

I was born middle class. Following dv , a divorce and an SN child I now work in a low income position. I don't eat breakfast or lunch to make sure dd has the best food and the items she needs to meet her SN. I'm now working class. The cuts to Child and working tax credit will floor us.

I'm lucky my daughter will inherit from my parents

I've come in late to this thread, but it seems to me that the OP was speaking rhetorically in putting forward her/his experience of disability inequality and exclusion.

It is of course a truism to state that many of us, at one time or another in our lives, may become what it termed disabled. We, as a society, are living longer and as part of the process of aging increasing numbers of us will also live with long term conditions which result in disability.

IMO we would be well advised to acquaint ourselves with such issues by learning about the stories of those who live the experience, don't you think?

I have never insulted anyone with a disability so I am not defending anyone who has done that. I support the views of everyone to post. I like h earing the views of people whose views I do not agree with as I hope to change them to my views. That is what debate is about.

I do not think we should sidetrack the thread on why the Tories got in but whether we keep first past the post which Labour were pretty keen on when they got voted in or ensure UKIP have the same number of seats as SNP as they had the same number of votes or whatever, the Tories would have got in this time too even under proportional representation. The people have spoken and no party in Britain supports the less well off than the Tories. They are the party of care and the British public were very wise to vote them in. Those with disabilities need not fear that the Tories want to be rid of the welfare state. We want to keep it. The only issue is we want to live within our means.

DawnDonnaagain, it isn't cognitive dissonance, it's cognitive arseholiance..

Op, yanbu. It's happening more and more. Disablist twats posting offensive brainfarts. I read those threads and more often than not I delete my reply. I don't want to get banned but I also don't have the energy to 'educate' the ignorant, it's hard enough just getting through the day when you have a disabled child. The 'picky eater' thread has enraged me. My ds1 has SPD alongside AS. We took a packed lunch to a family wedding recently as we knew he wouldn't eat anything on the menu. The looks and tuts were horrible.

Party of care! Fuck me! I'll tell you now LotusLight, as a carer to a disabled child who had to give up my job as a nurse, I'm fucking petrified. I'm lucky my husband works but if he, for whatever reason, finds himself unemployed, we would be stuffed. I'm frightened for our family and all the other families whose lives are about to be made a lot harder in the name of Austerity ideology.

and no party in Britain supports the less well off than the Tories. They are the party of care and the British public were very wise to vote them in. Those with disabilities need not fear that the Tories want to be rid of the welfare state. We want to keep it. The only issue is we want to live within our means.
Then why have they closed the Independent Living Fund, why are they removing care, why are they cutting our benefits?
You are stating nonsense. We keep telling you, those of us that are actually experiencing it, that our benefits and help is being eroded but you never reply other than with propaganda; the tories are good, they care. They do not, they really do not. They have very deliberately ensured that those with disabilities have been woven into the insidious little narrative or striver/skiver. Disability hate crime has increased under this government due to that narrative.

Only read page 1 so far but I totally agree with you OP. I would say I see about one thread a week where people comment about their experiences in relation to a thread (often about perceived unusual or unacceptable behaviour in a child) and are told not that it's not relevant, it's not a thread about SN, referred to as the SN brigade (often before anything has even been said in relation to SEN).
The recent cinema thread is just one example of this, which had the double whammy of there's nothing to suggest this kid had Sen so why are you even talking about it and why should the rights of one child with SEN (to go to the cinema) trump the rights of 60 others (to watch a film uninterrupted).

I get you are frustrated but you are generalising and being over dramatic you can post what you like say what you want but people will have a different pov to yours im am not aure where your foot stomping how dare you came from

I've recently name changed but I am disabled and have argued a lot about disabled toilets, parking spaces, tolerance etc. Recently I had surgery and have spent a number of weeks in bed. In days gone by I would have spent a lot of time on MN, but it's got so bitchy and nasty. Comments have made me cry as they just make me feel insignificant because of my disabilty and they aren't even aimed at me.

Being told I don't need to worry about cuts is insulting when I have seen my friend rendered housebound becuase she can drag herself 20m with 2 sticks in severe pain so she doesn't qualify for PIP and has had her car taken away. People are so far removed from the real world it's untrue, and they come back with "I don't mean genuine disabled people". Well it's genuine disabled people who are being hurt!

Mrsjayy you are one of the people I often perceive as being reasonable. However, we really do get bullied at times.

i can't get past LotusLight's post.
do people really think like that?
other than that OP yanbu.

The tories will have the most vulnerable of society live in poverty and segrgation for not trying hard enough that includes disabled people they really dont care and will use hard working families to make their pov seem valid.

Yeah you are right Dawndonna we do but i dont think a how very dare you op will help anybody on a forum like this you get people who dont want to understand who have not 1 shred of empathy about them whats the point of defending disabled people like you your family me and many many other posters Dawndonna to twats like them