to be sick of all the 'othering' on these boards?

[BishopBrennansArse]

I've just about had enough of this and I'm going to tell you why.

I'm disabled. My three children are disabled.
I am a member of this forum just as much as any other person here. My thoughts are just as relevant as yours. My family experiences are just as relevant as any other poster on this board.

How dare you tell me my parenting experience isn't relevant? Parents like me despite being a relative minority aren't that few around here. We have just as much right to share our experiences on these boards as everyone else, it is an open forum.

So how dare you tell me I can't post about cuts to disability provision, services and benefits. They are just as relevant as the experiences of the next parent. They have a place on this forum just as much as the opinions of others. How dare you tell me I can't mention experiences I've had with my children in public on 'naughty child' threads? When these things ACTUALLY HAPPEN and I'm trying to present an alternative view.

Yet you use phrases like 'SN brigade'. You tell us it's 'not about disability' when actually in real life yes it is no matter how much you might think it shouldn't be.

Undermining experiences I've had and other families like mine is downright ignorant. It's othering and bigoted.

I will defend my family forever.

How dare you.

but how do you define a "safe" place?
there is always an assumption that the sn topic is full of wonderful people(cos they were chosen don't you know) the reality is they are just normal people and as with all normal people......not always nice.

Well exactly there is no real safe space people will always say something that is upseting harsh or just plain rude having a disability or children with special needs doesnt automatically make you a nice person. Years ago i was involved in q forum for my disability it got quite heated and it was full of entitled twats tbh

I agree Samco.

Perhaps a safer space is a better notion
I think the opt in nature of the SN boards stops the tidal wave of 'why the fuck do you have an 8 year old in nappies you twat' ignorance that can/did meet specific threads on the main boards.
But yes, of course the SN boards are still just occupied by people - good and bad, nice and rude.

I never hold a grudge but without doubt the poster I dislike the most in my history of MN posting is a woman who was rude, goady, fucking unpleasant and fucking nasty on the SN board. I still struggle to think well of a couple of posters who backed her up on there. To be honest I don't use it much now - not because it was so bad but because I felt such an overwhelming sense of betrayal. Silly really I know.

it is the one negative of it being "hidden" it does mean that people can be far more gang like than they could on a busy un hidden board.

Is the sn boards not on the active list ?

only if you opt in

Oh I see so if you post on a sn board then thats opting in ?

no you have to go to customise and opt in there

The boards wont show at all (i think) unless you are opted in, so if you can see them, you must be already

What's sad about having a separate SN topic is that it probably contributes to people with SN, or having children with SN, feeling even more outside 'mainstream' society, even if a topic of a thread isn't about SN directly. Say, e.g., a parenting thread, where the contributions of a parent of a child with SN should be just as valid and relevant as any other (I mean, dc with SN still have to live their lives) but are so often dismissed as "this isn't about SN". The otherness thing again.

I can see the purpose of having a separate board, though, for things like advice about DLA, statementing, and some of the day-to-day aspects of life, just in the way of so many other MN topics. But it's just the more general topics (chat, aibu, etc) where any mention of SN even in passing, and even if it could be relevant to the topic (e.g. benefits, parking, behaviour in public places etc) are dismissed as 'other', and the posters just continue as they were, before the "derailment" (grr).

people need some where they can post and not have to "educate"

Absolutely - hear hear to that.

Nobody should have to educate, however 5/6 years ago, when I joined, MN was a far more supportive place, and for someone like me, without direct experience, was truly an education.

Without going all 'back in the day' the site has changed, massively. Back then, there were posters who would call out goady fuckers, and explain exactly what it meant to be a parent/carer etc.

I am a much better person from those early days. (Not that anyone should have to explain it educate). The 'this is my child' campaign wasn't even that long ago.