to be sick of all the 'othering' on these boards?

[BishopBrennansArse]

I've just about had enough of this and I'm going to tell you why.

I'm disabled. My three children are disabled.
I am a member of this forum just as much as any other person here. My thoughts are just as relevant as yours. My family experiences are just as relevant as any other poster on this board.

How dare you tell me my parenting experience isn't relevant? Parents like me despite being a relative minority aren't that few around here. We have just as much right to share our experiences on these boards as everyone else, it is an open forum.

So how dare you tell me I can't post about cuts to disability provision, services and benefits. They are just as relevant as the experiences of the next parent. They have a place on this forum just as much as the opinions of others. How dare you tell me I can't mention experiences I've had with my children in public on 'naughty child' threads? When these things ACTUALLY HAPPEN and I'm trying to present an alternative view.

Yet you use phrases like 'SN brigade'. You tell us it's 'not about disability' when actually in real life yes it is no matter how much you might think it shouldn't be.

Undermining experiences I've had and other families like mine is downright ignorant. It's othering and bigoted.

I will defend my family forever.

How dare you.

Good evening all

@Pumpkinpositive

Maybe it's the same poster? I can't recall ever seeing an OP which ranted non specifically at a mysterious "you" before yesterday.

And like yesterday's OP, I do think this one has a point, it's just that she has a rather combatitive, unproductive way of expressing it.

Firstly to clarify, there's no correlation between y'day's poster and today's.

And also a reminder to REPORT REPORT REPORT to us and we can see which fuckers are goading and deal with them as needed.

If y'all sit there getting cross but not doing anything we can't help.

Thanks

and we can see which fuckers are goading and deal with them as needed.

Depends on your definition of "goading" doesn't it?

Some people class disagreeing with them as "goading" FFS....

I've seen it. People have used the term 'SN brigade' and do make out that SN or disabilities are somewhat not part of the mainstream and should not be discussed on some threads.

However, I do think it's the idiotic minority thankfully. We have a fair few idiots on here but I think the balance still tips in the favour of nice, reasonable people and these are the ones you should listen to OP.

Gin, Olivia?

And also a reminder to REPORT REPORT REPORT to us and we can see which fuckers are goading and deal with them as needed.

My God, she swore.

All right, duly chastisted.

I agree Quiero. I've seen what I think is an increase in goady posters recently. Sometimes I get seriously annoyed with them, write a long, irritable reply and almost invariably delete it. It's not worth the pixels or the headspace.

Actually Iknowyouare i think the lashes contributions to that thread were needed. Posters were laying into fussy adults harshly. Adult babies was mentioned. And how they hate them.
Imagine if you see yourself slagged off all the fucking time because of your sensory issues. People will say well the person I know doesn't have that. But you don't fucking know. No one except my parents and my best friend know about my issues.
Am I meant to wear some kind of hat so people don't refer to me as a adult baby.

You have my sympathies Oswin. My youngest was a so called "fussy" eater and some of the comments on food threads can be incredibly insensitive.

Imagine if you see yourself slagged off all the fucking time because of your sensory issues.

But it wasn't due to sensory issues was it? It was due to good old fashioned Twattery.

Knowing the ins & outs of a medical condition wasn't required or relevant.

The guy was a rude, ill mannered arse and that was it!!

The OP wanted advice on how to deal with the situation, not reams & reams of your issues.

If anyone mentions having a disability on a benefit bashing thread, they are always told 'well I didn't mean you'

Well actually, you can't pick and choose who you are going to slag off. If you have a problem with people receiving benefits then people with disabilities have as much right to have their say as anyone else.

So yes there is a lot of 'othering' on MN.

I've read the other thread and it seems like the same old same old to me.

OP: explains situation.

Poster 1: What a twat

Poster 2: There might be SN

Poster 1: there might not be SN. He might be a twat

Poster 2: there might be SN. He might not be a twat

Ad infinitum.....

Always always always happens usual.

I notice it on "Royalty" threads (what happened to those?)

Poster 1 (well known): I fucking hate it when people do X

Poster 2 (also well known): I do X. I like X.

Poster 1: Oh I don't mean you [affectionate nickname] dahling, I luffs you!

I think we sometimes lose sight of why people post on here. Some of us are canny robust and are extremely fortunate to have straightforward lives with not too much to worry about but many, many people are not that fortunate.

There are posters who are bereaved. Posters who battle disability or mental health problems. Posters who have to fight every single day just to get a basic level of education for their children. Posters who might not have spoke to a real life person in weeks. Posters who are trapped in abusive relationships or horrendous family situations. And so much more, You tend to find that people who gravitate towards online communities do so for a reason.

I do believe the fuckwits on here are the minority but unless the rest of us stick together and support each other, then they have won. I don't think we should dismiss people like the OP for being sensitive towards this stuff. Unless you've walked a mile in their shoes it's hard to say who is or isn't unreasonable to feel aggrieved by something.

What's a Royalty thread?

Do you mean threads about the Royal family?

Yes the man the thread was about may have been just rude. He may not have been.
Then you have a load of other posters just slagging off fussy eaters.
Of course we will hear the cry of we don mean people like you. Which is fucking bollocks and people need to just be straight about it.

Don't be obtuse usual

What is "othering"? It's not an expression that I have ever heard of

What the hell is "othering"?

Ok, I say this with nothing but kindness but sometimes it can be a little wearing when you come on for a rant/advice/chat about someone that's bothering you about X and you get a barrage of:

"well X could have SN".

"No, he doesn't."

"We he could".

"But he doesn't, he's just as arsehole."

"BUT HE COULD".

Ad finitum...

I get that there are twats here and in the real world, I really do. And I feel for everyone who faces shite because of their disabilities but, as gently as possible, I think some posters go looking for offence when there really is none intended. It's irritating, tbh.

So do you want people to shut up about SNs ?

It's tricky isn't it though?

If I'm posting about a child's behaviour, and I know for a fact that child doesn't have SN, is it then worth having the discussion about him possibly having SN when I know he clearly doesn't?

ie does the thread then become a thread about behaviour of children with SN even when the original subject does not involve SN?

Is that not rather derailing the thread? Something that is usually frowned upon?

I rarely post on or read the fussy eater threads. My adult DS is a very fussy eater.

I can't read post after post from other posters calling him a twat etc.