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Picky guest. Rude and ill-mannered or within his rights?

896 replies

AddToBasket · 29/06/2015 17:34

Gah. I am throwing a themed dinner party for friends from a particular interest. (A bit like a medieval feast for people from a 12th Century interest group.) The menu is complicated and of the 'Take one plucked flamingo' school of recipes. It's a massive deal and will require military-like organisation to pull off but I'm looking forward to it.

It's at my house but I have a co-host. The partner of the co-host will not eat anything on the menu. There are four options for starter, five for main course, four for pudding. My co-host tells me he eat won't eat any of them.

He's not vegetarian or allergic, he just doesn't like vegetables or anything 'complicated'. I've been asked to serve a plain chicken breast. The menu includes a roast chicken salad (offensive because of watercress) and a plain couscous.

I think it's rude. AIBU?

OP posts:
LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 18:52

George I didn't name anyone individually, very different to singling out an individual.

oddfodd · 03/07/2015 18:54

I think you were the first person to sling an insult on this thread Lashes because you called the OP nasty.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 18:54

'People are being dicks'


'They are assclowns'

Hard to see the difference IMO. But what do I know? I'm not claiming to be the arbiter of what is acceptable behaviour. Unlike Lashes who no doubt will wriggle away from this particular inconsistency/hypocrisy, just like all the others.

Crocodopolis · 03/07/2015 18:54

Hmmm, George. Let's see: 'They are being dicks' vs 'People are assclowns'.

Switching pronouns changes neither the semantics nor the pragmatics of the posts.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 18:55

Erk double post.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 18:56

'They' isn't an individual pronoun, Lashes

JassyRadlett · 03/07/2015 19:08

George, no. There is a difference between being honest and calling someone names

But Lashes, you've done exactly that - a couple of examples I pointed out to you on the other thread, and you did call the OP, individually, nasty on this one.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 19:15

George the post was to me and clearly about me don't be obtuse.

Jassy is saying someone's being nasty really calling someone names? I'd have put that in the same camp as saying someone's "unpleasant, difficult, unfriendly" and so on. That's not name calling. However saying someone is an "assclown" is calling a name.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 03/07/2015 19:18

So you're saying its ok for you to be "unpleasant, difficult, unfriendly" to the OP, but noone may do so to you? Don't dish it out if you can't take it.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 19:22


No! I'm not sure if you lot are being deliberately difficult or you're just not understanding. I don't mind if someone wants to call me unpleasant, or unfriendly, whatever it's fine. Calling me, or anyone, an assclown, crosses the line from honesty into "intentional insult"

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 19:24

Again, you're being hypocritical. You're so eager to point out everyone else's faults, but seem unable to recognise them in yourself. That is solipsistic, verging on narcissistic, behaviour. Not 'straight up' or whatever minimising gloss you choose to put on it.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 19:25

George, perfectly happy to recognise my faults.

Not happy at being called an "assclown". Can you not see the difference?

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 19:27

But what if SGB really thinks that honest-to-a-fault people are assclowns? That's what she honestly feels? You're all for honesty, aren't you?

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 19:29

No I don't see much of a difference in calling 'people' dicks, like you did, and calling 'honest people' assclowns, like SGB did. I've already stated that.

You're declaring it's different, and we are all supposed to bow down to that, because you are sooo intelligent and clever and straight up, and the rest of us are NT sheeple. Or something like that.

Floggingmolly · 03/07/2015 19:30

You weren't called an Assclown directly, Lashes, but you really seem to think the cap fits Hmm.
Do you make everything about yourself? the way you've commandeered this thread, for example?

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 19:32


Why does anyone need to use profanity to describe another person? You can be honest and not rude. Like I said, u pleasant, unfriendly, immature, silly, ignorant, uninformed, I could go can use any number of adjectives that don't involve profanity.

I'm not perfect, I've sworn at people, however I'd never claim it's acceptable or polite.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 19:33

George I've never said that, stop reading things that aren't there.

Flogging the post was about me don't be obtuse.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 19:38

You don't like profanity, Lashes? You think it's unacceptable and impolite?

Gosh, it's hard to imagine that you'd start a thread instructing people to 'say what they fucking mean' then.

Oh wait. More hypocrisy.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 19:40

I'm not perfect, I've sworn at people, however I'd never claim it's acceptable or polite.

I also said using profanity to describe people. Not using profanity in general.

As ive said stop twisting my words. You're just looking for a fight, grow up

limitedperiodonly · 03/07/2015 19:51

Can anyone smell burning ?

Is it martyr?

JassyRadlett · 03/07/2015 19:53

Jassy is saying someone's being nasty really calling someone names? I'd have put that in the same camp as saying someone's "unpleasant, difficult, unfriendly" and so on. That's not name calling. However saying someone is an "assclown" is calling a name.

Given that your insults were directed at a particular individual, a number of times, and the 'assclown' comment was directed collectively at a group who behave in a certain way (not unlike those who 'can't think for themselves and other collective insults people found insulting and offensive) on the other thread, I think you're on shaky ground presenting your actions as morally superior.

What's the difference between dicks and assclowns, on the profanity-directed-at-people index?

ThunderbumsMum · 03/07/2015 19:54

Oh, assclown is a way better insult. And slightly less aggressive.

DeladionInch · 03/07/2015 19:54

'They are being dicks' vs 'People are assclowns'

The former describes the behaviour of a specific group of individuals. The latter is a generalised insult.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 19:56

Jassy the assclown comment was directed at me, it was very clear! It was just done in a way to technically avoid getting in trouble for it.

They're the same, I never said OP is a dick or anything though

AlisonBlunderland · 03/07/2015 19:58

I think being an Assclown sounds wonderful.
Imagine the makeup.

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