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Picky guest. Rude and ill-mannered or within his rights?

896 replies

AddToBasket · 29/06/2015 17:34

Gah. I am throwing a themed dinner party for friends from a particular interest. (A bit like a medieval feast for people from a 12th Century interest group.) The menu is complicated and of the 'Take one plucked flamingo' school of recipes. It's a massive deal and will require military-like organisation to pull off but I'm looking forward to it.

It's at my house but I have a co-host. The partner of the co-host will not eat anything on the menu. There are four options for starter, five for main course, four for pudding. My co-host tells me he eat won't eat any of them.

He's not vegetarian or allergic, he just doesn't like vegetables or anything 'complicated'. I've been asked to serve a plain chicken breast. The menu includes a roast chicken salad (offensive because of watercress) and a plain couscous.

I think it's rude. AIBU?

OP posts:
Crocodopolis · 03/07/2015 17:30

If you feel you have been the victim of bullying and lies, please report it to MNHQ, who will investigate.

And don't change my words: I said nothing about "behaviour" in my post.

Crocodopolis · 03/07/2015 17:32

limited, you can only teach someone who is willing to learn.

GobblersKnob · 03/07/2015 17:34

I have huge food issues, I would ask if you would be offended if I just didn't eat, or if the event was so long that I would get really hungry (unlikely tbh) could I bring something myself.

I am hyper aware that I am massively judged for how I am around food, and would hate to put anyone else out, so would never ask you to prepare anything extra for me. (Actually would be pointless as I can't eat anything prepared by anyone else).

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 17:35

Ah the snarky comments started that always happen when those prone to mob mentality get together.

Limited I've not been manipulative anywhere. You can criticise me on other points but nowhere have I been manipulative. If you choose to project your own motivations into my posts, not my problem

Crocodopolis · 03/07/2015 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JassyRadlett · 03/07/2015 17:42

Ah the snarky comments started that always happen when those prone to mob mentality get together.

Lashes, you often complain about people making incorrect assumptions about your motivations and actions - but you do it pretty consistently.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 17:47

Croc there's a difference between honesty and bullying, surely someone with your level of social skills should know that.

Jassy, because I'm getting increasingly pissed off with some of these comments deliberately taking what I've said out of context and engaging in childish shit flinging

SuburbanRhonda · 03/07/2015 18:08

But you're the only person on this thread who's had a post deleted, lashes, and that was because you were so rude to other posters.

If you can't take it, don't dish it out.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 18:09

Suburban my post said "people are being dicks". That's a lot less rude than the personal insults that have been flung my way!

Crocodopolis · 03/07/2015 18:10

This thread is making me laugh and laugh.

OP, when is your magnificent banquet? We need updates!

SuburbanRhonda · 03/07/2015 18:13

Where are the personal insults towards you, lashes? I haven't seen any.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 18:15

Lashes you started another thread (prompted in part by this one) advocating that people should say what they mean. Yet now you're whinging when people do, in fact, tell you what they think of you 'straight up'.

That's what I meant by inconsistencies and hypocrisies.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 18:18

Suburban someone called me an "assclown"

George I'm not moaning about people being straight up, I'm moaning about people calling me an assclown. I've never advocated name calling in either thread

Crocodopolis · 03/07/2015 18:21

Nope and wrong.

This is the quote: That's why other people don't like the 'honest' types. It's because they're assclowns.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 18:23

Croc after a post claiming I was unpleasant and making up lies about me. I was also described as an honest type. Therefore, that post was clearly calling me an assclown. I'm not SO socially unaware that I can't tell when people are insulting me you know.

MuffMuffTweetAndDave · 03/07/2015 18:24

Actually (If you like wink) we could add in some feminist/trans points to the discussion. Because we've been discussing accessiblity and inclusion, and it certainly crossed my mind that similar behaviours can occur across the trans/feminist spectrum of viewpoints and all that - people who are incapable of understanding that they are not always welcome everywhere and that sometimes other people want to engage in a social activity that doesn't suit everyone, and have a right to do so undisturbed by some attention-seeking whinyarse going 'well if I can't join in then it Shouldn't Be Allowed To Happen.'

YY solid. Although, on the feminist and trans points and expanding it to other social justice type movements, I'd say this behaviour is more normally found amongst people coming from a traditional position of privilege. For example white people complaining about BME only events, trying to make racial justice demos all about them etc. Or people socialised as male getting angry about female only space and trying to stop it from existing, in various social movements. That type of thing. But the opposite seems to be true here, since generally NT people are the relatively privileged group. Obviously the chicken breast insistent DP is male, but so is OP's co-host so there presumably would be the same level of male privilege going on.

I feel like someone could probably offer a Centre Parcs based analysis too, since it is Friday?

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 18:25

So people can be honest and 'straight up', but only within your approved terminology.

You, on the other hand, can say whatever you like because otherwise waaaa, nasty, unfair, over-sensitive mindless sheeple aren't recognising your special snowflakeness.

I think that covers it.

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 18:27

George, no. There is a difference between being honest and calling someone names

Honesty: I don't think your posts make you sound like a nice person

Being unpleasant: you are an assclown.

HUGE difference!

Crocodopolis · 03/07/2015 18:33

?When I use a word,? Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ?it means just what I choose it to mean ? neither more nor less.?

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 18:35

Spot on Crocodopolis Grin

AlisonBlunderland · 03/07/2015 18:37

Back to the actual point of the thread....

Can anyone smell burning ?

Is the the plainchickenbreast or the sautéed flamingo?

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 18:38

That's not what I've said but if misinterpreting me makes you feel better about yourselves go ahead!

Crocodopolis · 03/07/2015 18:43

I can also smell burning. (Hint: it isn't avian.)

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 18:46

Croc like I said if you genuinely need to insult people online to feel better, go ahead! I hope whatever's bothering you improves.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/07/2015 18:48

'People are being dicks'


'They are assclowns'

Hard to see the difference, IMO. But what do I know? I'm not claiming to be the arbiter of what is acceptable behaviour. Unlike Lashes, who no doubt will wriggle away from this particular hypocrisy once again.

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