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AIBU?

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Original poster

list of sexual partners

289 replies

maxxytoe · 27/06/2015 21:44

so i was over at my friends house earlier this evening. I don't know how we got onto the topic, but she keeps a list of her 'sexual conquests' in the notes on her iPhone Hmm in chronological order
She claims this is normal and everyone has a list
I am confused
Should I have been keeping tabs? Grin

OP posts:
purplemurple1 · 28/06/2015 06:26

I remembered the sex if not the names until I got to around 100 but totally stopped tracking it then. Figure its around 200 but haven't thought about it in a long time as I'm in a long term relationship now and OH has never asked.

A list would be nice to look at but having I found or made public would be awful at work esp to say colleagues would be shocked is an understatement.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 28/06/2015 06:30

Definitely not. I have my total that I'll admit to and my real total. I actually think I have forgotten at least one, possibly two from the real total.

downgraded · 28/06/2015 06:35

Most of mine are best forgotten!

No way would I be able to list them. And I wouldn't want to either

Carrying a list about is definitely odd - for what purpose would you do that? In case you get run over and would like them all to be informed??

tumbletumble · 28/06/2015 06:37

My list is short enough to keep in my head easily (I've been with DH since I was 22), but if it wasn't I can imagine having a list. I like lists!

elspethmcgillicuddy · 28/06/2015 06:51

Well... Umm... I suppose it is useful for contact tracing when she gets chlamydia...

GlitzAndGigglesx · 28/06/2015 06:59

My friend and her ex wrote out a list to send to each other in the heat of a row. They had about 30 names each Grin. I can't say I've kept tabs

keeptothewhiteline · 28/06/2015 07:04

I couldn't list mine, no.

purplemurple- a genuine question- how did you manage to have so many partners time wise? I don't know how old you are, but if you have 200 partners these must have been a lot of casual encounters? I wouldn't know where to start in order to meet so many men that would want to have sex with me.
Is is a club scene thing/ PLease don't take this as a criticism, I believe women get a lot of stick in our society over our sex lives, and the idea of a "virgin bride" is still thought of as desirable in some quarters.
It's more the practicalities of meeting so many sexual encounters- how does that happen on a day to day level?

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 28/06/2015 07:04

Why would she get chlamydia?

This seems to be turning into a purity competition.

I don't have a list and lost track in my early 20s. It is a bit odd to write it all down but I wouldn't judge. People do odd things, I know I do!

keeptothewhiteline · 28/06/2015 07:05

rubbish- I agree, that was a horrible comment about chlamydia.

icelollycraving · 28/06/2015 07:07

I used to have a list in the notes section on my phone!
I think I was thinking of how many there had been & started a list. I like lists. It's not there now though.

LadyPlumpington · 28/06/2015 07:11

I think my list is technically 2.5 Blush

  1. ex-fiancé: rather sex-crazed and I once found that he kept a diary of exactly what we did each time we had sex Confused I'm embarrassed at how long it took me to ditch him!

  2. a moody depressive who seemed cool in a European intellectual way but couldn't get an erection and implied it was my fault. He couldn't get to sleep if I was there so I had to sleep at the far side of the bed and not touch him at all.

  3. Current man - funny, intelligent, well-adjusted and not an arse. Reader, I married him Grin

My list is so short because I find it hard to believe anyone would be attracted to me and so have never knowingly flirted with anyone (even DH really). It's all terribly earnest. I wish I had the sense of fun and adventure about sex that others here have described.

Oh and to answer the op's question I think it is a little odd to keep a proper written list as an aide-memoire, yes!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 28/06/2015 07:15

^Why do people shag people they can't even remember the names of? If they mean that little to you that you have to make up stupid nicknames as can't remember their name then why go there?!
Doesn't smack of much self respect^

Because we wanted to in the moment, we were horny, experimenting, fancied them, and it was fun. there is nothing wrong with casual sex and it has nothing to do with self respect.

As to the chlamydia comment - fuck that judgemental shit

ahfuckit · 28/06/2015 07:35

This thread has made me feel a lot better about some bad decisions I've made with regards to men. I have been beating myself up for years but it's refreshing to know I'm not the only one who has had 'lovers' they would much rather forget!

FretYeNotAllIsShiny · 28/06/2015 07:48

I've got two 0.5's. Aka MarshmellowDick and TooDrunkToPerform.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 28/06/2015 07:48

I have a list in a little notebook, it was started when I was 17/18 and very promiscuous. I did add to it after I was grown up though. Been with other half 8 years now but if we split up and I went on a snagging spree I'd definitely put them in the book just for fun!
It also lists snogs and Includes jems such as 'Bald man on zebra crossing '

Garlick · 28/06/2015 08:06

'Bald man on zebra crossing' Grin

CrystalHaze · 28/06/2015 08:12

Why do people shag people they can't even remember the names of

This comment doesn't make sense. Forgetting someone's name and/or whether you slept with them is a thing that happens with the passage of time. You don't consciously decide 'I'm going to sleep with this person and firget tgeir babe.'

fastdaytears · 28/06/2015 08:15

Hmm at some of the judgypants being modelled today.

Not a self respect issue at all. I'm pretty sure we're allowed to enjoy sex now, so if anyone wants to have sex with a stranger/someone whose name will fade in time and they haven't been pressured or taken advantage of then what is wrong with that?

I'm not ashamed of my "number" and not bothered whether it's more or less than my ages [need counting on fingers emoticon]. It's my body and I'll use it how I want to thanks.

The list thing is asking for trouble though unless she's happy for this to be public information...

CrystalHaze · 28/06/2015 08:17

Gah! Posted too soon in error and with typos!

I was talking to a friend recently about a man I fancied when I was 17-Ish. She thinks we had a brief relationship and slept together. I think we kissed a few times and that was all. I had forgotten his namr until she reminded me, and I genuinely can't say whether I slept with him or not, because it was 25+ years ago and a lot has happened in my life since then.

Sickoffrozen · 28/06/2015 08:21

I didn't see mine as casual sex when I was younger. I always sort of hoped that they may turn into a GF/BF sort of scenario. The men clearly had other ideas!

I can remember all of them but it is less than 20. Still sounds a lot to me though although that was from the age of 18-25 single days!

BangingTheDrums · 28/06/2015 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 28/06/2015 08:35

Builder guy
French guy
Bendy dick guy
were a couple on mine. I can't even remember most of them to remember if I remember their names or not Grin

NoMontagues · 28/06/2015 08:40

I haven't got a list, I wouldn't know where to even start with that! I really haven't a clue how many there's been.

My first husband asked once, and because I was young and naive I didn't tell him to fuck off with himself, but rather gave a number that I thought would be ok- 15.

After a couple of hours of him storming and banging around the flat I told him I'd made a mistake and it was actually 9 Grin . This placated him somewhat. He believed me that I'd added up wrong the first time. (I had my own successful business at the time and used to do my own accounts, so I could actually count.)

I really, really regret even engaging with him in that conversation. Actually, I really regret meeting him at all but that's beside the point.

crystal my best friend tells me I got engaged to one of my exes, which I have no recollection of. There was no ring involved, I'm sure I'd have noticed that.

UngratefulMoo · 28/06/2015 08:49

I kept a list when I was much younger but, as someone said up thread, I stopped when I matured a bit / reached the 20 mark. I think it's around 30 now but I'm married so it's really not even slightly important anymore. I feel neither proud nor ashamed. Some were great, some were terrible, some were memorable, some were forgettable, all but one was my decision, it's just part of who I am now. Why would I feel bad?

Roussette · 28/06/2015 09:03

No written list here but a mental list and it's long in my head with about half on the list forgotten about now (but I am old and married later in life so there was lots of time to play around). It's fun having a mental list as sometimes one pops into my head when I am totally thinking of something else - this thread has made me think of the rich swedish guy who I met at an airport in the 70's and who wowed me and who kept flying to UK to meet for sex and sending me airline tickets to meet him in hotels round the world - that was fun - it was a FWB with knobs on Grin. However, there are some right arses on my list too - best forgotten.

As for self respect, I have buckets of it thank you even if the mists of time have dulled my memory.

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