Was my dd being unreasonable?

[TheBFGisme1234]

My dd, in year 8, was in a lesson at school today when a boy asked to refill his water bottle, to which the teacher replied- "No, that is a lunch time activity". However, five minutes later the same teacher, while teaching, was booking his holiday and ordering furniture. My dd realized this and questioned him as to why it was fair that he is allowed to book holidays but they are not allowed to fill up their water, both of which are lunchtime activities. The teacher then shouted at her and told her she embarrassed him and asked to see her after class.
My dd promptly burst into tears as she is normally impeccably behaved and in her entire school career has only been in trouble once, the whole class went silent. After class the teacher told her what she had said was wrong and cheeky, but that he would let it go this time as it is completely abnormal behaviour for her. On the one hand I agree with her teacher that she was being cheeky in pointing this out, but then again I see her point. So was my dd being unreasonable? Is there any way she could have pointed this out without being "cheeky"?

[TheBFGisme1234]

NRomanOff
The reason why she compared the two was because the teacher refused to let the boy fill up his water bottle was because it was a lunchtime activity, as is internet shopping for the teacher.

[Wolfiefan]

But it wasn't even her water bottle or her request. I'd expect my kids to focus on their own work/their own concerns.

[SoupDragon]

Is there any way she could have pointed this out without being "cheeky"?

No.

Regardless of the fact that the teacher shouldn't have been doing stuff online, your DD was rude.

[grapejuicerocks]

Another, she shouldn't have done it.

Of course the teacher was in the wrong but it should have been handled differently. A word to you or another teacher maybe.

It was completely disrespectful to talk to him like this. No wonder the teachers are spending so much time trouble shooting, rather than teaching, when kids have such little respect for them, and parents condone this.

[mileend2bermondsey]

Your DD was rude and showed the teacher up infront of the class. Even if he was in the wrong to be fucking about on the interent during his working day, its not her place to pull him up on it. Would you make the same comment to your boss?

And at 12/13 she bursts out crying in the middle of class because a teacher wanted to have a word with her about her attitude? She needs to get a grip frankly.

[Iggi999]

He was chancing it.
She was cheeky.
No comparison with being out of the room however.
The teacher may be a waster, or someone who works hard and will rethink the hours of unpaid overtime he does at home at night (on his computer, using his wifi). We will never know.

[WorraLiberty]

I think she was cheeky.

I think he let it go this time because she cried.

[soapboxqueen]

I think she was being cheeky. She wasn't honestly asking a question. It was rhetorical. She was pointing out what she thought was hypocrisy and by doing so was calling into question the teacher's authority. Whether she meant to or not.

I agree the teacher shouldn't have shouted but it would depend on the tone she used as to how cross I would have been. If she's normally well behaved I might have said 'Ha thought you'd catch me out. This is for a xxxx lesson' or 'it's irrelevant. You're not allowed to do x but I'm allowed to do y'

If she had a genuine issue she should have spoken to her tutor or asked a parent to contact the school.

If the teacher was actually messing about then that's rather poor but not for her to publicly call him out on in the middle of a lesson.

[TheReluctantCountess]

The teacher was following school rules by not allowing a student to fill their water bottle mid-lesson.
The teacher shouldn't have been booking a holiday during the lesson, but it was rude of your dd to point it out.

[whois]

Oh come on, she wasabsolutly trying to be cheeky. Unless she has no social awareness she knew the teacher shouldn't be on personal sites so calling him out on it was only done to embarrass him/be cheeky.

I'm not saying what she did was wrong, but it was cheeky and acting like a total smart arse.

[Gdydgkyk]

Water MUST be provided free of charge and be available constantly through out the school day according to the department of education. So the teacher was wrong not to let the boy have access to water.

The girl had a valid point. The teacher could have been more receptive.

I'm sure the head would be displeased with the teacher breaking guidelines around drinking water and booking a holiday

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

No it wAsnt wrong of cheeky at all. People with their oh so perfect chikdren can be too quick to use that word, Instead of a actually listening to what a child is saying.
Your daughter is right. Why is it okay for him to sit there booking holidays ect. If it were a child on their mobile phone it would be taken off them, they can't expect children to obey orders, if they don't practice what they preach, and about the water. I thought it was a legal ofsted requirement that children have access to water at all times.

[MythicalKings]

Most schools don't allow children to wander around filling water bottles whenever they feel like it. If he'd drunk the water he wasn't about to expire from dehydration.

DD very cheeky.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Oh and the reason why the teacher lost it is because, as we know. The truth hurts., and it took a child to tell him.

[Lovemylittlebear]

To be honest she made a bloody good point and I personally think he should have handled it differently! Perhaps "yes good point this is more of a lunch time activity and things should work both ways so I shall stop doing this now and focus on the lesson". Working in education I personally think Good on her for advocating for what she felt was correct. Sorry that she got upset though and he told her off :( xx

[mileend2bermondsey]

Iliveina
Of course it was cheeky!
Most of us have said what OP's DD was thinking was correct, but it is totally cheeky and out of order of her to bring it up.
Like I said before, if your colleauge asked to take a break after they'd already had lunch and the boss said no, but was at the same time plaing minecraft or whatever, would you respond in the same way as OP's DD?

If so I think you'd find your self sacked pretty sharpish.

[mileend2bermondsey]

It was a good life lesson for her tbh. She learnt that you cant just go around saying whatever you please without negative reprocussions.

[TheBFGisme1234]

This teacher in the past has turned up fifteen minutes late to lesson, with the words "I had forgotten I was meant to be teaching you."
Mileend
My dd hardly ever cries, she has cracked her head open before without so much of a mumble of displeasure and when family members have died she has bottled her emotions up internally as she is too proud to cry in front of others. However, she is also highly ambitious so anything that she perceives may effect her schooling upsets her immensely,lthough enerally she is emotionally resilient

[DisconcertedAndRetired]

Teachers and pupils aren't equals. It's (in general) not her job to control his behaviour, it is his job to control that of pupils.


If she thought his time-wasting was having a negative effect on her, she should have taken it up with him discreetly. Or she could have asked her parents to go to the head. If she didn't need his attention, but other children were being neglected, she could have told them later so that they could complain if they wanted to. It's not her job to complain on their behalf though.

[Iggi999]

"More of a lunchtime activity" - maybe he was taking a study class at lunch, or just generally working.

Obviously children can't wander the corridors at will, I can imagine the complaints if a fight (eg) happened at the water fountain and you'd let a bunch of pupils out. Water is available all day, you just have to plan when to fill your bottle! And teachers will use discretion around this, they may have other reasons for not letting that particular pupil out of class. Which the OP's dd couldn't know.

[RabbitSaysWoof]

The teacher may be a waster, or someone who works hard and will rethink the hours of unpaid overtime he does at home at night (on his computer, using his wifi). We will never know.

Very possible the second one, I used to have a house mate who was a secondary school teacher and the hours she put in at home shocked me.

[TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain]

I find it hard to believe that your daughter who is oh so good and impeccably behaved and cries when given out to by a teacher all of a sudden has the balls to question what a teacher is doing in class.

[mugglingalong]

I am not sure that she was right to raise it in class, but at the same time I don't agree that bosses or teachers can not be challenged. Bosses should sometimes be challenged and their practices brought to light. I was faced with an ethical issue when younger. I chose to leave the work situation but in retrospect I wish that I had raised it with the people above my boss. Imagine that she was working for a manager who spent a lot of time on the Internet instead of working and as a result the department underperformed. She should report that to more senior management. She wouldn't be popular - whistle blowers never are, but it doesn't mean that people shouldn't be held accountable for their actions.

[soapboxqueen]

Gdydgkyk Water needs to be readily available not in constant supply according to the dfe.