To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

[Vijac]

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart :(. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

I say do it, it will be fine.

Another option is a fitness class for mums with buggies, i used to go to a class like that. Basically it is going to the parks and doing lounges, squats jumping jacks etc next to the buggies.

Yes saucyjack, you're right. However:

a) most babies cry for about 2 minutes before thinking 'ooh, shiny' and forgetting what they were crying about, so it's not definite that the childcare setting is upsetting to op's baby

b) Saying that you have never left your kids to cry ever and never will sounds just plain daft to me unless you can predict the future.

It's not selfish to have TWO FUCKING HOURS to yourself OP , ignore that crank up thread and enjoy your workouts

Okay keep, so I'm guessing you didn't have to go anywhere else and had the flexibility to stay all day. That sounds like a nice school and state of affairs. However, it's really quite unusual in the UK for that to be the case and I don't think your experience is that common. I also don't think that it does kids any harm to be left for a while; my kids used to howl when I went to the toilet for goodness sake, but they learned that I always came back (much as I'd have loved to just hide in there to escape them for 10 minutes)......

I don't think you will 'damage' her but I definitely wouldn't be able to leave my DD if she looked upset, even if I had somewhere important to go. I wouldn't be able to 'relax'during my gym session and would feel guilty.

I've lost a lot of baby weight recently just by going on long, brisk walks with DD in her puschair. We both enjoy it, it's free and I don't have to leave her so it works out very well. Maybe you could try something similar?

YANBU. It's good to get her used to socialising with others. 2 hours a week is nothing compared to some babies who are in 8am-6pm mon-fri from 6 weeks due to work commitments.

...I'm another one who never uses childcare.

Yes and perhaps dismiss pp who has 'never left a crying child' yet has never had to use childcare

But that was my deliberate choice. I didn't go back to work after my children were born- the main reason was that I didn't want to leave them in childcare.
But we very much needed me to earn money.
So I worked out a way to do both.

vvega- I have chosen not to- quite a different thing. I jacked in my career so I wouldn't have to leave a crying child.

This thread seems to be bringing all the AP martyrs/ cranks. Provided you are happy with the standard of childcare your lo will be fine. If you are going the whole hog of attachment parenting then you would take your child to the creche in a sling so that the nursery nurses do not have the option to bung her in a buggy.

Parenting books give ideas, but should never replace parental instinct. Do what is right for you.

Okay bluejeans, I understand your sentiments but IMO it's just not sustainable long-term if you ever want to go back to work (out of the home that is). I really think that small separations now help them to cope with longer separations later, because they've had a bit of mental practice in coping.

I'm not just saying this because it suits my lifestyle; there are a lot of times when I've deliberately been a bit firmer with my kids (although I'd have liked to be a softy) because I think they would find it harder to adjust to firmer rules later. Start as you mean to go on and all that. When I was a child people let me get away with murder and then would arbitrarily decide that it was time I 'grew up' and shouted and stopped me doing things that I'd always been allowed to do. I remember being very confused and scared by the sudden changes in my world, so I've always tried to be consistent with my own children. Sometimes, that means letting changes happen gradually. Short nursery visits are (I think) a good start.

I have been putting my DS in the gym crèche since he was 4 months old. Sometimes he would go through phases of crying when I left but he always stopped as soon as he got distracted by a toy or saw his favourite crèche worker - I've never had to go back to him because he wouldn't stop crying. Now at 2 years old he loves it, asks to go and won't leave at the end! He's happy, I'm happy, everyone's a winner.

Why the shitty comments about "martyrs"?

Some people will leave a young baby with strangers for non-essentials. Some people won't. Horses for courses. No need to call people names.

How rude. I have criticised no-one on this thread. I don't appreciate being called a martyr or a crank simply because I have a different parenting style.
If you use such an aggressive tone with your kids they are probably better off in daycare.

I do sympathise with you, having given up going to the gym myself because my daughter got upset when I left her at the creche. Having read the responses on here I now think I'm going to give it another go. So should you. Happy parent happy child.

I don't think it's odd because the only reason I've never used childcare is because I don't want anyone else looking after her when I can do it myself. Money's tight, I don't have any support and I have to compromise a LOT but looking after DD is something I choose to do alone. Sorry if that sounds smug.

An hour, twice a week, for you to get fit and have a boost? Sounds brilliant. I wouldn't have thought twice if I could have afforded it.

Not so keen on the staying in the pushchair though. I'd think hard about that and whether this gym/childcare setting is the right one.

But other than that, fine. Enjoy.

In an ideal world a baby would be looked after by an auntie or granmother. Unfortunately many people do not have extended family near by. Women all over the world have had to work or want some "me" time. Certainly the amazonian tribes look after the children of sisters or granchildren.

Unless you are outright abusive your children will be fine.

"normal" for you vvega, but not for others. And why feel guilt if it is a great thing to do?

I'm sure it won't damage her but at the same time I don't think I could have left mine at a gym creche if it upset them. Putting a child in nursery is different because they do get used to it very quickly (at that age) and work seems more of a necessity than the gym.