To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

[Vijac]

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart :(. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

agreed that a lot of it is down to the temperament.

I'm not sure I have ever actually said that I am wonderfully happy in my parenting style actually. I'd like to reduce incidence of tears when possible/feasible, providing that the net situation is improved rather than negatively impacted by the change. So changing bedtime tactics = feasible, never leaving children in childcare ever = feasible but net mental health status and standard of living in our household plummets. I hope that clarifies matters.

I don't just go prodding them with sticks because I don't care if they cry FFS.

Oh god Im finding it so hard not to start taking the piss here

keep Wow, you sound like such an amazing mother. I wish I could be as selfless as you. Your DDs are so lucky. And your bedtimes sound so lovely. How on earth do you do it?

Thanks Andy

There's a lot of bitterness and jealousy flying about here.

I also have dc who have always been happy to go to bed and raced up the stairs as toddlers...to their own beds. Other than the odd occasion I've never co slept.

My children are happy, bright, friendly kids. I've never had any problems with behaviour, eating or sleeping and to be frank, though some of it may be nature, a lot of the reason my dc are the fabulous little people they are, I put down to our parenting of them.

So shoot me. And like I said 500 pages back, if you think that makes me smug, look at your own choices and wonder why you feel that way, rather than just being happy for me.

Andy you're keep under another name, yes?

1/3 of mine = mythical good sleeper from infancy. Full disclosure: he was a damned fussy eater right from the beginning and continues to be so. Though he is getting bigger and outright hunger sometimes trumps his food issues, at least for a few bites. I await further developments.

2/3 of mine = crappy at bed time, though not to the degree of some children I have read about. However, they were never picky eaters until their teenaged years. As adults, one of them is over it except for a few minor 'would rather not' which most of us have. The other fulfills every stereotype of the person who follows current diet fads, sometimes contradicting her previous stance on some category.

Emergency I may possibly have been being slightly tongue in cheek

*Maybe this is what the OP needs?
Where are you OP anyway?

theshuttle.org.uk/buggy-buddies-get-fit-councils-help/*

No doubt long since given up on the bunfight her reasonable post about takingup a reasonable option has become.

keep, I feel inordinately sorry for you , as I do for all women who have the misfortune to derive the totality of their self worth from that one role of mother

DD is an excellent sleeper and has been since birth.

I have never boasted as I am well aware that DC2 will be an absolute nightmare.

Lemonade, i think its sad that you feel that way.

Being a mother is the most important role in your entire life, there is plenty of time for everything else.

It might be the most important role in your life paddington but how dare you tell another woman that it is the most important role in her life! It's sad you feel that way.

I have many important roles in my life: mother, wife, daughter, friend, worker....they are all equally important.

Paddington I'm glad we match each other in pity for one another.
However, I'm pleased I don't share your flagrantly blinkered sanctimony.

All I can say is that I hope paddington, keep and sung never have to depend on one of this awful working mothers -you know, the teachers, nurses, dentists, lawyers.... Though the rest of us think thank fuck those women don't think as you do, and that their working roles are pretty important too, not just to them personally but to society as a whole.

good point well made RT.

I'm a HCP and I'd wager that were Paddington a patient of mine she'd be hoping I was giving my full attention to cannulating/catheterising/medicating her,
rather than being complicit in the belief that my role as mother superseded my duty of care to my patient.

Most of the sahms I know don't go round judging working mothers - they get judged more than judge. It is also nothing to do with self worth. For most of the ones I know it is to do with putting someone else's needs first for a few years, and loving it too. I was a bit of a hedonist and workaholic before children and will return to form again at some point no doubt, but for these few years it is not a big deal to put someone else's needs first. In my experience that won't make the dc self centred or lacking in independence or lacking in social skills - the opposite in fact, i believe. The pay off for me is the warm fuzzy feeling. I don't judge anyone else - many and varied choices out there. We managed by selling up our house in London and buying something much cheaper with the equity. I really don't see how self worth or lack of it comes into it. As for working lawyers doctors etc most of the ones I know who have children say how they wish they could afford to be sahms! They find the work life balance impossible and it pisses them off. And some of us leaving our careers leaves spaces for the younger people to come in.

I wasn't denigrating the self worth of SAHM.
merely the self worth of those whom judge working mothers negatively on the basis of a misplaced and sanctimonious superiority complex.

Scrumpy betty so you are saying being a friend and a worker is EQUALLY IMPORTANT as being a mother?

keep, I feel inordinately sorry for you , as I do for all women who have the misfortune to derive the totality of their self worth from that one role of mother how odd that you should think that.

I don't think it.
I feel it.

With every fibre of my being. you have my most heartfelt sympathies.

hardly.

I'm in work at 7.15am. so that would just be silly now, wouldn't it?

But keep going,you're just inducing more pity pouring forth from my bleeding heart.

I'd pity anybody who supposed that only the inebriated would disagree with their world view.

how awful it must feel to suffer from such delusional arrogance. poor you.