To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

[Vijac]

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart :(. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

On the other hand if you don't feel comfortable leaving her you can walk/jog with a decent buggy.

No. If you give in every time your child's face crumples over the next few years you've a long road ahead.
Your needs are as important as hers. Go and enjoy the gym.

I can understand how you felt dropping her off but she probably rallied within minutes and is enjoying her new surroundings.

I wished I had used the Nursery for the odd hour here and there as I found the seperation of returning to work very hard.

I would not leave my child crying.
So no. I couldn't see a situation unless an emergency where I would depart if my child did not want to be left. I would feel I had broken our trust.

It's good for everybody if you're a happy healthy person as well as Mum. My boy goes to nursery one day a week and used to cry at drop off and pick up. They take photos of them and send it out at the end of the day so I knew he was happy there really.

Now he doesn't want to leave.

I'm starting Mat Leave soon. Am I taking him out of nursery? Am. I. Bollocks :)

V- that's fine- your way works for you.
I don't walk away from a crying child. That's my way.

I wouldn't no, i wouldn't be able to leave my child upset to visit the gym. My dcs happiness comes first not my leftover baby weight! If however i dropped her off and she absolutely loved it then maybe but it's not something I'd consider doing in the first place.

Liquoricetwirl - I accept your view but I don't agree with it. I don't think it is "normal"- and I wouldn't ever do it.

I think damage is a strong word, but I wouldn't (and don't) put a young child in a situation that distresses them just to do a fitness class.

But you know your baby. You can tell the difference between a few tears and genuine fear.

Licorice I don't care whether you have worked with kids or not.
Why does my child's age matter?
I have never left a crying child and I know I never will.

The studies that attachment parents cite that show parents who leave their children 'damage' them are usually studies on Romanian orphans or children who have experienced severe trauma...not comparable to leaving a child in a nursery for 2hrs a week with staff who are trained to provide high level care. YA definately NBU

licorice- fine if that is your way.
I wouldn't leave a crying child, that is my way. It works fine for us.

keeptothewhiteline you are obviously in a very privileged position if you don't need to work and don't ever need to leave your children at childminder/ nursery/ school. Those of us who are not in such a privileged position and who have to leave our children usually experience tears for a few days before they settle in and begin to love going to childminders/ nursery or whatever, and it certainly doesn't cause any long term 'damage' in the slightest.

I think putting a label on a type of parenting is a bit odd tbh (a bit like how carrying a baby in a sling had become 'babywearing').

Now I am cautious about full on, hard core attachment parenting after watching a couple of freinds run themselves into the ground with exhaustion from it. The guilt they felt was horrendous in case they were 'doing some damage' by doing things that most people would consider normal (using a dummy, putting DC in a play pen while you have a shower, using a forward facing buggy).

Their DCs have all gone off to school now and skipped off quite happily despite, or possible because of, the fact that they had been close to their parents for so long.

IME, the DC who had never been left had a much harder time settling into primary school when the time came. Crumpled face day after day then.
Children need to learn you can leave and will always come back. This is a basic life lesson, never too early. And also for older children that they are part of a bigger picture and not the sole focus of their parents' lives.

Well said CPtart

Apologies, damage was the wrong choice of word. Sorry I've offended posters. The thing is that if the baby is left when you go back to work then they are there long enough and regularly enough to form meaningful attachments with caregivers, plus it is necessary that they go. Whereas that is unlikely to happen fast in 2hours a week.

It was just sad to see that she obviously remembered being there before and I felt that she was telling me by crying that she didn't want me to go. Then I just flounced off to jump around a bit. Go to the gym appears to be the general opinion but not everyone's view. It's hard to really know what they're thinking and taking in.

Also, the staff decided that she would be most happy in her buggy as a familiar place and put her in that the last two times. They pushed her a bit and gave her toys to look at. Whereas, I thought she might be happier having cuddles or playing with the new toys and rolling around. But they are the experts obviously.

You might harm her according to 'attachment parenting' but not according to actual, research-based attachment science which many AP proponents don't have the first clue about. Ignore the guilt-mongers and go to the gym. Your baby will be fine.

My gym let you have an hour of childcare a day on your membership. I think it's an extra tenner a month. They take from 6 weeks old, to 14years. It's very popular and the kids all seem to love it.

she'll be fine.

your health is vital. imo you shouldn't wait until she's at preschool to work out.