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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect to use the en-suite shower if it's the only decent shower in the house?

329 replies

climbingquickly · 20/06/2015 21:19

Stayed 3 nights with DH's friends. They stay with us from time to time. (FYI we have a family bathroom with walk-in shower plus an extra bathroom downstairs with bath only, our guests welcome to use both). They had a new house, gave us the guided tour. Lovely guestroom with a guest bathroom next to it but guest bathroom only had a bath with a shower-attachment (think 3/4 tiled bath with a low-level shower attachment designed for hair-washing). Their en-suite had a walk-in power shower.

So first morning, after breakfast I asked hostess can I use your walk-in shower, she looked surprised but said ok. So I had a quick 10-min shower. When I came out her DP was in bedroom doing up his shirt, he looked at me in shock, said 'guest bathroom's down the hall' so I explained his wife had said i can use en-suite as I wanted a proper shower. Later my DH said his friend had asked him to tell me not to use their en-suite next time!

So for rest of visit I had to crouch in bath-tub washing myself with a handheld shower attachment! DH shrugged it off but i think it's very rude not to let guests use the only decent shower! Was IBU to think they should have let us use their en-suite?

OP posts:

TopazRocks · 20/06/2015 23:46

Beryl, at least you don't ask to sleep in their bed. I'll bet it's much comfier than the guest bed.

Ledkr · 20/06/2015 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TopazRocks · 20/06/2015 23:52

I think Ledkyr can trim her pubes wherever she wants and even if she has visitors - hough some places may be a bit public for such activity. Surely, with guests you don't need to be at their beck and call at every minute. Unless they are 3 YO and in your sole care.

HoneyDragon · 20/06/2015 23:53

It's true that pubes carry less cooties in the bathroom than the bedroom.

Personally I trim mine wherever I fancy and have trained by genital crabs to carry them to the nearest bin then return.

HoneyDragon · 20/06/2015 23:53

*my, not by.

Melonfool · 20/06/2015 23:58

Ah, this totally justifies my decision for me and dp to sleep in the room without the en suite and leave the room with the en suite for guests.

Our family bathroom has a decent separate shower anyway though and dss has an en suite too so we're not short of showers.

And to be fair, I've never been that keen on sleeping two feet from a loo.

dp sis has the opposite problem - her bedroom en suite and the main family bathroom both only have huge impossible to fill roll top baths. The guest room has a decent shower. So they plonk you in the guest room then chuck you out of bed so they can all troop through and use the shower.
The bedroom is quite small so it means you have to be really neat, and as there is nowhere to put anything that's tricky. Plus the en suite.......get this......doesn't have a door on it, so if you walk into the bedroom and someone is on the loo you're going to see them. Or in the shower, though obvs that actually has doors.
It gives me the wobbles staying there. Next time we go down we've rented a cottage. I have peered very carefully at all the photos to make sure it has a decent shower!

mileend2bermondsey · 20/06/2015 23:58

Oh shut up you fucking idiot
wow, anger issues much

KidLorneRoll · 20/06/2015 23:59

I quite like my friends, so I am quite happy for them to use my en-suite as the shower in the other bathroom sucks.

And they offer/are perfectly happy in return, because they are nice. It's weird that people are precious about such things.

ThisWeeHouse · 21/06/2015 00:05

I feel so left out of this conversation, no en-suite. Does a loo under the stairs count?

Bambambini · 21/06/2015 00:08

I think folk are so precious these days - not letting folk use the best and most comfortable shower. "My bedroom and ensuite are our prvate oasis malarky" - get a grip! But then i grew up in tiny 2 bedroom, one bathroom (no shower) house where you had to share your bed with whatever female came yo stay. Precious.

AnUtterIdiot · 21/06/2015 00:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Melonfool · 21/06/2015 00:11

I don't mind friends coming into our bedroom but it is incredibly messy so they'd have to zip up on being judgemental about it. And I trim my pubes in the bedroom cos the shaver thing needs plugging in and there's no plug in the bathroom. So nerr.

Oh, I also don't leave them in a neat pile, they just lay where they fall or where I brush them off the bed.
I expect I am vile. I don't care .

TipsyandT0m · 21/06/2015 00:12

Agree with Kid. The shower in our family bathroom is crap. The only people we have stay over are good friends and family that we get on with. No problem them using en suite at all. We keep all our kinky shit locked away

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 00:13

Host are expected to offer a bed with clean linen and appropriate sanitation facilities. They did this.

The fact that some people prefer a shower to a bath doesnt alter the fact that they offered a decent and acceptable level of accomodation. Take it or stay somewhere else.

Lweji · 21/06/2015 00:14

Just wait for them to visit you.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 21/06/2015 00:14

This thread is reinforcing my long-held prejudice about the kind of people who have utterly naff ensuites ... It is bizarre not to have a decent shower in the main bathroom though.

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 00:16

I feel I need to expand....

Host are expected to offer a bed with clean linen and appropriate sanitation facilities. They did this.

Guests are expected to accept and be grateful for all hospitality offered or pay to stay in a hotel with facilities to their expectations.

Pick one.

GobblersKnob · 21/06/2015 00:18

HoneyDragon surely you could train them to do the trimming as well with their little crabby pincers? Feel you are missing a trick there.

If guests wanted to use our en-suite I would say yes if it was both clean and convenient, no if it wasn't. That said, we don't have an en-suite, so guests have to slum it in the over the bath shower with the rest of us.

ouryve · 21/06/2015 00:18

I shower just fine with a low level shower. If anything, it's better for washing the properly smelly bits.

GobblersKnob · 21/06/2015 00:19

Not literally with the rest of us, that would be a whole new thread

TipsyandT0m · 21/06/2015 00:20

I can see your point Schnitzel, but in our case it is primarily two adults and a toddler in the house. For us replacing the shower in the family bathroom is low on our list of priorities. We only have guests every other month.

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2015 00:22

I'm just wondering how the fuck Mariah Carey the OP and some of the people on this thread would manage for a couple of days, if for example they had to visit friends/family in...dare I say it...small, rented accommodation with < Shock horror > NO shower!!

There...that's right I said it...NO fucking shower and just one bath and loo in the entire house!

My apologies to all who are reaching for the smelling salts at the very idea...

Viviennemary · 21/06/2015 00:23

I think you should have made do with a bath. Sounds a bit like diva behaviour to me I'm afraid.

Lweji · 21/06/2015 00:29

The thing is that at the OP's house the friends are welcome to use their walk in shower. But the reverse wasn't offered here.
I'd have expected the favour to be returned.

I'd be pissed off and would restrict them to the bath at my place.

ThisWeeHouse · 21/06/2015 00:29

*There...that's right I said it...NO fucking shower and just one bath and loo in the entire house!

My apologies to all who are reaching for the smelling salts at the very idea...*

Ohhh I feel positively posh with my downstairs teeny weeny crapper under the stairs loo!

Too be fair I used to live in a big empty house with one crappy flat at the top. Emerson heater the warm the water for the old, claw footed, metal bath. You literally dunked in and out of the bath as it got cold so quickly.

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