AIBU to expect to use the en-suite shower if it's the only decent shower in the house?

[climbingquickly]

Stayed 3 nights with DH's friends. They stay with us from time to time. (FYI we have a family bathroom with walk-in shower plus an extra bathroom downstairs with bath only, our guests welcome to use both). They had a new house, gave us the guided tour. Lovely guestroom with a guest bathroom next to it but guest bathroom only had a bath with a shower-attachment (think 3/4 tiled bath with a low-level shower attachment designed for hair-washing). Their en-suite had a walk-in power shower.

So first morning, after breakfast I asked hostess can I use your walk-in shower, she looked surprised but said ok. So I had a quick 10-min shower. When I came out her DP was in bedroom doing up his shirt, he looked at me in shock, said 'guest bathroom's down the hall' so I explained his wife had said i can use en-suite as I wanted a proper shower. Later my DH said his friend had asked him to tell me not to use their en-suite next time!

So for rest of visit I had to crouch in bath-tub washing myself with a handheld shower attachment! DH shrugged it off but i think it's very rude not to let guests use the only decent shower! Was IBU to think they should have let us use their en-suite?

What about oral?

Definitely oral! Still trying to get my head round sex in the en suite, though, those partition walls aren't good for a proper stand up rogering and the toilets are usually those tiny WC ones. You could end up with a story for the A&E staff to laugh about. By that token, never attempt to have sex with the man standing and the woman with her legs wrapped round his waist and her hands gripping the shower rod.

I would be annoyed with my spouse if anyone, as the DW should have told her DH the OP was using the shower.

With us, it depends on the guest. My MIL is used to handheld shower in the bath, so happy enough in the main bathroom. My mom is used to an American style shower, but wouldnt be bothered just using the hand held. However, DH went off to work most days she was here and after he left she snd I chattered away in my room taking turns in the ensuite shower and using my hair dryer etc. we havent seen each other in 2.5 years, and might not again for that long. Much talking. And its my mom, so no modesty issues.

DD alone would have been much the same. But she was traveling with a friend we had not previously met, stopping at our house for several days at the start and finish of a longer if this is tuesday we must be in belgium type vacation. I really could not be bothered to organise a rota whereby all 4 adults could have seperate access to our bedroom and bathroom (which would need tidying before young woman I never met was sent in) on a schedule that would get us out of the house before noon.

When DD that is married and the nicest son in law ever come visit, i wont really care so long as grandson is happy to play with me and let me read to him, etc. he was a tiny baby when we last saw him. That DD will probably presume to use the better shower because thats how she is, but she will arrange with DH so they don't cross paths underdressed. No big deal. Her DH would probably use the main bathroom unless specifically instructed to use the en suite.

Any other visitors would be not family, and in most cases, main bathroom would be the plan, just to save having to organise the privacy aspects. Request would probably be honored if privacy needs wouldnt complicate the day, but i wouldnt offer.

I seem to have been doing this all wrong, for decades. I go to stay with friends, I use what's on offer. Err, that's it.

If I did have an en suite, which I don't, and if I were precious about it and didn't want guests to use it, I wouldn't bloody show it to them in the first place. Everyone in the OP is a bit odd, except possibly the OP's husband and I'm not really sure about him. It's a bit odd, though hardly a major problem, to ask to use something they showed you but didn't offer you. It's really weird to say yes and then say no.

Friends of mine offered me the use of their en suite because the main shower is next to useless. All fine except it has no lock and their five year old walked in on me in the shower. Still, I don't think anyone concerned was majorly bothered and he did leave when I asked him to.