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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect to use the en-suite shower if it's the only decent shower in the house?

329 replies

climbingquickly · 20/06/2015 21:19

Stayed 3 nights with DH's friends. They stay with us from time to time. (FYI we have a family bathroom with walk-in shower plus an extra bathroom downstairs with bath only, our guests welcome to use both). They had a new house, gave us the guided tour. Lovely guestroom with a guest bathroom next to it but guest bathroom only had a bath with a shower-attachment (think 3/4 tiled bath with a low-level shower attachment designed for hair-washing). Their en-suite had a walk-in power shower.

So first morning, after breakfast I asked hostess can I use your walk-in shower, she looked surprised but said ok. So I had a quick 10-min shower. When I came out her DP was in bedroom doing up his shirt, he looked at me in shock, said 'guest bathroom's down the hall' so I explained his wife had said i can use en-suite as I wanted a proper shower. Later my DH said his friend had asked him to tell me not to use their en-suite next time! Blush

So for rest of visit I had to crouch in bath-tub washing myself with a handheld shower attachment! DH shrugged it off but i think it's very rude not to let guests use the only decent shower! Was IBU to think they should have let us use their en-suite?

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 20/06/2015 22:44

No-one uses our ensuite except me and DH. We have earned the right to that privacy.

You are being very very very unreasonable.

PrimalLass · 20/06/2015 22:46

I'm with expat. I wouldn't go back.

bluesbaby · 20/06/2015 22:47

Since when is a request a demand?!

I don't think you were being U to ask... It would U to expect the answer to be a yes, but no harm in asking, checking if they mind or not.

I would never, ever have a bath, anywhere, so would rather be smelly at someone's house than have a bath, or leg it to the nearest public showers. Can't stand bathing, there is nothing worse than bathing in my own dirt and potentially someone else's if it's not been bleached. I don't care how diva like you think that is... It's my opinion.

expatinscotland · 20/06/2015 22:48

'We have earned the right to that privacy.'

PMSL. That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've read here in a while.

jeanmiguelfangio · 20/06/2015 22:50

Yanbu to ask, she could have said no, and as long as you wouldnt have a huff about it, then fine. also if i was the wife, i probably would have told my DH- X is going to use the shower in the ensuite, she prefers a shower, so he didn't get miffed. To be fair, both my DM and DMIL have always offered their ensuites as they had good showers in, oh and DSIL. Then again, it would be different for family i think.
All ridiculous since we have one bathroom and the shower is above the bath so you would have to put up with it.

SoldierBear · 20/06/2015 22:55

I can't believe anyone would be so rude to ask in the first place. It is criticising the facilities your host has provided for you. A bath with hand held shower us perfectly adequate for washing for a few days. If you didn't like the bedding would you ask for that to be changed too?

MagicMojito · 20/06/2015 22:59

Yep YWB totally U.

As pp have already pointed out, bedrooms are private spaces and it was really intrusive and cheeky of you to even ask.

I'd have a heart attack as that's where I dump all our clutter on the rare occasion we do have guests

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 20/06/2015 23:00

I think ywbu. Nothing wrong with a bath and handheld shower attachment for a couple of days. And I don't think the dh was being a twat at all. He probably did hear the shower running but thought it was his wife in it. Think yourself lucky you weren't in our ensuite - you'd have probably had my dh in brushing his teeth or shaving before he realised it wasn't me!

Reignbeau · 20/06/2015 23:00

I don't think the friend's DH sounds like a twat. Maybe he did hear the shower but assumed it was his own DW in there? I'd be a bit put out to have someone walk in on me dressing too.

WorraLiberty · 20/06/2015 23:01

Jeez though, having a wash is such a tiny part of staying with mates for a couple of days.

If someone can't 'slum it' and use the bathroom they've been offered, they can go and stay in a hotel as far as I'm concerned.

But thankfully none of my friends and family are remotely awkward guests.

RJnomore · 20/06/2015 23:03

D this is ANOTHER reason not to have anyone to stay over.

Angria · 20/06/2015 23:07

I amazed you even asked, your host provided a guest bathroom for your own use, you really could not cope with that set up for a few days?

Sometimes it's difficult to believe these gripes are for real.

ShelaghTurner · 20/06/2015 23:07

Husband sounds a twat because he wants some privacy from guests in his own home? Fuck that, I'm a massive twat then.

Ledkr · 20/06/2015 23:08

I hate people in my bedroom cos with five kids it's my only space.

We have a family bathroom with a shower and big bath but when the shower was broken fil rudely helped himself to our Our en suite.
I hope he blushed suitably when he saw my little pile of freshly trimmed pubes on my bedroom floor the cheeky fucker Grin

mileend2bermondsey · 20/06/2015 23:12

my little pile of freshly trimmed pubes on my bedroom floor
I assume this is a joke but why would you a) trim your pubes on the bedroom floor, b) just fucking leave them there???Shock

RB68 · 20/06/2015 23:13

hmm I have never stayed in a friends place with en suite guest facilities - but how tight not to have at least put an electric show in. Most people shower these days.

Not unreasonable to ask in my view, I have only ever used what was offered - friends often offer their ensuite shower room if kids bathroom is family one. I just make sure to be dressed when emerging and make plenty of noise if I suspect one party wasn't fully aware I was in there sort of thing. I do think he was a bit mean to address it via your hubs - he should have told wife to raise with you - then its just between the two of you and not involving everyone there.

Also if you stay over often etc and are good friends then really not a biggie is it

PurpleSwift · 20/06/2015 23:14

uavut

BerylStreep · 20/06/2015 23:16

I have to confess to being a bit of a rude guest before.

We have lovely friends who we visit (they visit us too) but their bed is the most uncomfortable thing I have ever slept in. I have a really bad shoulder, and my back isn't great, and it was really painful for me to sleep in it. Now when we come to stay I bring our own blow up bed Blush. Luckily they are quite good friends, and if they are offended they have done a good job of hiding it.

GoddessWhoWalksEarthAsWoman · 20/06/2015 23:25

Thank you for this very funny set of first world multi-bathroom stealth boast posts about various mad etiquettes of using or not using which effing shower. GrinGrinGrinGrin

AlpacaMyBags · 20/06/2015 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ledkr · 20/06/2015 23:28

miliie cis it's my fucking bedroom that why!!!
I was downstairs getting the Hoover when fil snuck in.
where do you trim yours? The garden?

PosterEh · 20/06/2015 23:28

I would have offered you use of the shower so you wouldn't have had to ask.
I was ready to say YWBU from the title but not if it's the only shower in a house. Don't most people have a shower everyday? It wouldn't bother me personally to just have a wash but I can't imagine expecting all visitors to take a bath when there is a working shower in the house.

reni1 · 20/06/2015 23:29

Why does anybody think the Hostess' DH is remotely weird for wanting privacy in his bedroom? Would any of those posters like it if a visiting bloke walked into their bedroom as they are getting dressed?

Why not go the whole hog and ask for their bedroom as well as the bathroom, no doubt the master bedroom is better than the guest one, just like the bathroom? Very precious.

TopazRocks · 20/06/2015 23:41

10 minutes in a POWER shower is quick? What would slow be then?

mileend2bermondsey · 20/06/2015 23:44

Ledkr
Thats pretty gross. I sort my bits out in the bathroom like I imagine most do. Certainly not on the bedroom foor.
Not sure why trimming your pubes is top of your priorities when youve got guests in the house anyway.