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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect to use the en-suite shower if it's the only decent shower in the house?

329 replies

climbingquickly · 20/06/2015 21:19

Stayed 3 nights with DH's friends. They stay with us from time to time. (FYI we have a family bathroom with walk-in shower plus an extra bathroom downstairs with bath only, our guests welcome to use both). They had a new house, gave us the guided tour. Lovely guestroom with a guest bathroom next to it but guest bathroom only had a bath with a shower-attachment (think 3/4 tiled bath with a low-level shower attachment designed for hair-washing). Their en-suite had a walk-in power shower.

So first morning, after breakfast I asked hostess can I use your walk-in shower, she looked surprised but said ok. So I had a quick 10-min shower. When I came out her DP was in bedroom doing up his shirt, he looked at me in shock, said 'guest bathroom's down the hall' so I explained his wife had said i can use en-suite as I wanted a proper shower. Later my DH said his friend had asked him to tell me not to use their en-suite next time!

So for rest of visit I had to crouch in bath-tub washing myself with a handheld shower attachment! DH shrugged it off but i think it's very rude not to let guests use the only decent shower! Was IBU to think they should have let us use their en-suite?

OP posts:

FlopismyMantra · 21/06/2015 00:30

Eh, I have children. My bedroom is not my own anyway. What difference will one further person make?

We have guests very frequently for at least a week or longer. They are free to use whichever bathroom they wish. I prefer that to smelly guests anyday.

80sMum · 21/06/2015 00:30

I think it was rather rude of you to ask, OP. Basically, you were snubbing your friend's hospitality and telling her that what she had offered you wasn't good enough for you.
Why didn't you just go the whole hog and ask them to move out of their bedroom, so you could sleep in their bed and use their ensuite?!

Kleptronic · 21/06/2015 00:32

I think you are all completely beyond my experience.

Bambambini · 21/06/2015 00:35

Worra - i think it's more Mariha to not offer your guests the best shower over a crappy second best one. If there is only one bathroom then you just make do.

youareallbonkers · 21/06/2015 00:37

Bleach does not get rid of dirt. If a guest took a 10 min power shower I'd turn the water off. How wasteful

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 00:38

i think it's more Mariha to not offer your guests the best shower over a crappy second best one.

I would cheerfully tell any guest who thought that anything in my home was "crappy second best" that they are welcome to check into a hotel of their choice within the hour.

Lweji · 21/06/2015 00:39

I suppose part of the problem for the friend's husband was that he wasn't expecting it, and probably thought the OP had just sneaked in. He might worry if he had been caught undressed, for example.

But asking to use the en suite and actually using it, I see no problem with.

Also, this will teach you to post such a controversial topic on a Saturday evening.

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 00:40

oh and...

If there is only one bathroom then you just make do.
Having one bathroom doesnt make it the third fucking world!

If I stay with friends its because I love them and want to see them, I wouldnt care what the bathroom arrangements were as long as I can use the loo in peace and have a wash of some description every day!

BerylStreep · 21/06/2015 00:43

Actually, the OP hasn't come back to the thread, other than her opening post. I strongly suspect she has naffed off to go and have a life, and here we all are, debating the pros & cons of showergate.

Having spent the whole evening supervising visiting unsettled children, who have just left, I am going to go to bed.

SurlyCue · 21/06/2015 00:45

Bleach does not get rid of dirt.

It does. Are you sure youre using bleach?

Melonfool · 21/06/2015 00:47

How can bleach get rid of dirt? Try pouring it on the garden, the garden will still be there.

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 00:49

surley

Bleach is like hiding a thread. You wont be able to see them but the wankers are still there

BackforGood · 21/06/2015 00:51

YWBVU and very rude to use their en-suite.

It's not like it was a choice between that and not being able to have a wash. You might prefer a power shower, but you would not rust over without one for a couple of days. It really is rude and extremely intrusive to go through someone else's bedroom when there is no need which is the main reason we installed a shower room with door onto landing rather than door into our bedroom when we installed a 2nd bathroom in our house, tbh.

SurlyCue · 21/06/2015 00:52

Spray bleach on bath. Go round with cloth. Rinse. Dirt gone. Its magic I tell ya

Lweji · 21/06/2015 00:52

But with bleach they will be dead. If you use a sufficiently high concentration.

SurlyCue · 21/06/2015 00:54

Try pouring it on the garden, the garden will still be there.

Do the same with soap and your garden disappears i suppose?

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 00:56

And a garden isnt dirt, it is earth. Learn the difference.

Moomintroll85 · 21/06/2015 00:57

I don't think you've been particularly hard done by and it was a bit UR for you to ask.

I would have offered a guest my en suite if it had the only shower though as it wouldn't bother me. Not that I have an en suite (or want one!).

Rather than not hearing the shower, maybe the husband was so taken aback as he assumed that it was his wife in the shower rather than the OP?

Thanks also for all the details about your own bathrooms too OP

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 00:57

But with bleach they will be dead. If you use a sufficiently high concentration.

sorry, can you confirm....are we talking dirt or wankers here?! :o

Bambambini · 21/06/2015 00:58

Bogey - i've lived most of my life with one bathroom, sharing my bed with many female guests. Yes, its not third world or any where near - i'm not the one being precious about sharing.

SmilingHappyBeaver · 21/06/2015 01:00

YANBU, the hosts were BU by not offering their guests a shower.

The issue here is that the husband had not been told that you would be using the en suite. Although how he managed not to notice that the door was closed and someone was using the shower seems strange... I suspect he feigned "shock" to make a point, in which case he is a wanker. Who has guests over to stay and then refuse them have access to a shower? If you have long hair you will need to be able to stand in order to wash/rinse it properly. The thought of sharing a bath with a load of other guests is totally minging.

Can't stand bathing, there is nothing worse than bathing in my own dirt and potentially someone else's if it's not been bleached.

This comment from up-thread... exactly.

Lweji · 21/06/2015 01:00

sorry, can you confirm....are we talking dirt or wankers here?!

Both.

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 01:01

I apologise, your post implied a certain level of expectation, at least I read it that way, sorry

SurlyCue · 21/06/2015 01:01

I think we're talking wankers bogey

SurlyCue · 21/06/2015 01:02

Xpost

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