AIBU to expect to use the en-suite shower if it's the only decent shower in the house?

[climbingquickly]

Stayed 3 nights with DH's friends. They stay with us from time to time. (FYI we have a family bathroom with walk-in shower plus an extra bathroom downstairs with bath only, our guests welcome to use both). They had a new house, gave us the guided tour. Lovely guestroom with a guest bathroom next to it but guest bathroom only had a bath with a shower-attachment (think 3/4 tiled bath with a low-level shower attachment designed for hair-washing). Their en-suite had a walk-in power shower.

So first morning, after breakfast I asked hostess can I use your walk-in shower, she looked surprised but said ok. So I had a quick 10-min shower. When I came out her DP was in bedroom doing up his shirt, he looked at me in shock, said 'guest bathroom's down the hall' so I explained his wife had said i can use en-suite as I wanted a proper shower. Later my DH said his friend had asked him to tell me not to use their en-suite next time!

So for rest of visit I had to crouch in bath-tub washing myself with a handheld shower attachment! DH shrugged it off but i think it's very rude not to let guests use the only decent shower! Was IBU to think they should have let us use their en-suite?

Dressing gowns are good for privacy.

Ywbu and a little precious. If you were in a hotel and the bathroom had a bath would you ask to use another guests shower?
I have an ensuite which I consider is only for use by myself, DH and at a push DC.It's very much my personal space but would find it uncomfortable to say no if directly asked. You had perfectly adequate bathroom facilities for 3 days

One of the first things we did was ensure our family bathroom had a shower attached to the wall over the bath. Didn't want Dd, in addition to guests, to just have a short hose.

Redid it recently and have same shower over the bath as we have in our ensuite cubicle.

Don't really like sharing my ensuite. It's my own space. And the family bathroom is more than adequate.

I have to say though that over the years i have stayed with people with varying facilities. And used what is there with no issues.

It would never prevent me from visiting again. I go to see friends. Their lack of shower facilities would never been a tipping point for me. My friendships are worth a fair bit more than that!

Dressing gowns aren't any help if your guests are walking through your bedroom though... you have to get dressed in the bathroom not to avoid walking from bathroom to bedroom but because your guest is likely to walk through the actual bedroom if using your en suite.

As I say I don't have an ensuite - I just find it very strange guest behaviour to expect to have access through somebody's bedroom in the morning instead of using the bathroom provided for you.

If my friends provided me with a private guest room and guest bathroom they'd be excellent hosts already - only in hotel accommodation would I think of expecting particular types of facilities and asking for alternative arrangements if my room/ bathroom wasn't as I liked it...

This thread can close down. Halfwildingwoman has already provided the correct answer:

I wouldn't have asked if I was the OP, because as long as it's clean and there is hot water you make do. However, if I was the host I would have offered the shower

We move the kids to the en suite so guests have a private bathroom - DC normally choose and often walk past the main bathroom to use ours anyway. So we dont need additional traffic. We already turf the DC into each others rooms so guests have their own room, and visiting kids bunk in again often 4 girls to room. We cook clean entertain DH gives up his car - so no sorry leave my one space alone.

I only have one bathroom. But someone should come on and say they have an outside toilet and a tin bathtub by the fire.

YABU, a bedroom is a private space and it's very rude to ask to use their en-suite.

I would never dream of asking to use my host's ensuite. How incredibly rude!

Yep of course they should let you use it. We have same set up except two ofour bedrooms have en-suites.

No you were rude. That was encroaching their privacy.

It's not like you didn't have access to a bathroom

Travelodges and Premier Inns can be very reasonable I find. Avoid staying at other people's with their private bathroom and bedrooms. Just stay in the houses of people you like and feel comfortable with.

I have stayed at a house that had a bucket shower. I have also lived in another huge mn no-no, a bathroom off of the kitchen but you'll be pleased to know I lived to tell the tale.

I've just been visiting a friend who didn't have a shower or an en suite with my two dc. I made the most of having to have a long bath to claw through my hair while she entertained the children. Heaven!

Also, I bet the hosts will think again about boasting about their great new home and power shower in the en suite, and keep them private, as it should be...

You were rude.

My hosts' bedroom is private, so their en suite bathroom is too.
YABU.

Provided you gave me 24 hours notice that you wanted access to my bedroom and en suite, if would be possible. But I would hate you forever and it would probably be the end of our friendship.

YWBVU and rude

Surely you could suck it up using the bath and shower attachment for a couple of days!

I bet you're not invited again.

PerspicaciaTick High-brow irony you...

Yabu

Yabu. Their bedroom and en suite is their private space.

This thread is hysterical yes. Hysterical because a presumably nice and clean bathroom with a hand held shower attachment is deemed such unsatisfactory cleaning arrangements for a whole three days that the OP couldn't cope with it. I don't know how we survive in this house with the self same arrangement, no en suite and four of us. I might as well put the kettle on for social services now... Mad.

I agree its all mad. I am going to hide it now all this talk of private intimate rooms and bathrooms is clogging my TIO up.

If it's only for 3 nights can't you last without?