To think less of my friend? (And to ask what puts you off a person)

[MonkeyPJs]

I have been friends with a woman for a while now, but recently, while in a cafe, she was awful to the wait staff after the service was a little slow (it was busy) talking to them like they were sub-human, and being rude and demanding. It was embarrassing! Ever since then I've thought less of her, and now not so sure I want to be close friends with someone who can be so unkind to others. She's always been nice to me, though.

AIBU to think less of her because of this one event? She wasn't having a bad day to my knowledge, and was perfectly pleasant to me both before and after talking to the waitress - as if nothing were wrong.

If IANBU, is there anything else that makes you think less of someone like this?

How odd to judge people because they use Apple products.
Mines £20 a month. How is that more money than sense?

people who feel the need to tell you 'I am a Christian by the way' about five minutes after meeting you.

Adults who read Harry Potter books.

People who are fascinated by other people's sexuality.

I am a highly tolerant person, which is to say I can mix with people whose views I disapprove of, perhaps even on a fundamental level.

However there are a few things which can make it difficult - it's mostly the stuff that people are very opinionated and bigoted about and it's not worth trying to discuss, rather than necessarily the most serious things:

Aggressive atheist (eeesh, spare us another rant)
People who carefully monitor all conversations they are in for PCness - seriously fuck those people.
Misogyny/Misandry
Racism
queer basher types
vegans who won't fucking shut up about it

hootsmon You would hate me and my family then. We have all the Apple gadgets known to exist (except the Apple watch).

On the other hand you might like us and accept we just have a weird Apple fetish going on. We aren't doing anyone any harm.

People who are intolerant of religion. I'm an atheist, so of course, I think all people who are religious have got it wrong! But I respect a person's religious choice, live and let live.

I was surprised by these people as they are not English, and are very broad-minded and cultured people. I didn't actually realise they could be so blinkered, especially because I've known them for years.

Extend wait staff to shop staff.
I've worked in high end retail and I've been treated appallingly, less than human by some customers.

And I used to book hospital appointments for people. That was a whole extra opening for abuse.
I've never been keen on my fil but after he reduced a colleague to tears on the phone I actively dislike him. He even boasted to me (not realising I was there when it happened) about how he'd put her in her place and not let her fob him off wih any crap.
Unbelievable.

Work have just given me an iPhone after my BB died. Judge away!

People who let their kids play on the computer / gadgets all the time, especially when out for meals. I know that will probably get me flamed, but I don't care.

I would definitely find the behaviour in the OP off-putting. They do say you can tell a lot about people by how they treat "the help".

Another very telling and possibly off-putting thing is how people describe those they disagree with politically - whether they are aware their political counterparts in life might be normal people who aren't scum.

The first time I met dp's family they made some racist jokey comments. I was so uncomfortable, I'd never heard anyone say anything like that in real life. I have Asperger's so thought I might have misunderstood but I started a thread on mumsnet and was told I hadn't.

Since then I've heard them say sexist things, things about immigrants, teenage mothers, black people and gay people. His parents and one of his brothers are the worst. Some of the racist comments aren't that bad and I don't think they'd ever treat someone badly because they were black, they are just extremely ignorant. I worry about dd picking it up as she gets older.

Ignorance - yes. I was getting on with someone perfectly well once, then it emerged that she'd never heard of the Holocaust

There's 2 kinds of ignorance though. Not everyone can know everything, so it's a bit hard to judge based on what you think someone else should know. Ignorance is an opportunity to learn.

However, I have no time for people who are deliberately ignorant. For example people - particularly city dwellers - who are happy to spout crap about Islam (or any other religion) rather than - shock - actually asking someone. (Because there are so few Muslims in Birmingham).

In my experience, people are only too happy to explain a part of their religion, or culture, if you ask nicely. I know it's illegal, and all, but I like the danger.

People who post stuff on FB about politics in a ranty way. You may disagree with Tory policies... Perfectly reasonable to do so. However slagging politicians off in crude terms turns me off.

My friend (family friend) took a small sum of money out of my purse that i had left in the kitchen, she was caught on camera. I never asked her about it but i haven't been able to trust her since and i now believe the "gossip" about her.

PS i have cameras in the kitchen as i run a business from home not for any weird reason & no ones knows about them apart from me & DH.

Posted to soon... Also bullies in any form including those who are rude to staff. I also mentally take note of those who mock/slag others for their accents, that is horrid.

I think much less of 2 of my cousins who frequently share Britain's Firsts posts and English and Proud crap on Facebook. Plus put ignorant coments about Muslims. Yes because we know that all Muslims are terrorists . Sadly they are both fairly thick as shit so I'm not really surprised.

I also think less of same cousin who wanted a child in her teens despite being far too immature and incapable of barely looking after herself, purposely getting pregnant, sadly proving us right, spending money on her BFs trainers is far more important than making sure her child has clothes that fit. Not with the dad so baby is with him or his sister a lot yet she bleats a lot about needing a break. Novelty truly wore off for her and I do think a lot less of her for it. Much wanted baby is here so fucking look after it instead of getting bored.

I think less of my friends who have a rule for others in the group yet when it came to me asserting myself and not going with what they wanted, the same rule didn't apply. Fine for others to not have money and for us to work around that but when I didn't and couldn't pay exactly what they wanted me to, they were horrible about it. I downgraded them to acquaintances and haven't bothered with them for a while.

Am pleased I am not the only person that goes off a person for a seemingly small reason! And agree with so many of the above (except adults who read Harry Potter )

I love the Audrey Hepburn quote Claudette

It's not a close friend, I think I'll just do as you suggest momagain and think of her more as a friend of friends, as our DCs aren't friends.

I thought of another one too: the person on my FB feed who posted about how IVF is immoral, and has said elsewhere that her DCs were accidents so no fertility issues herself. I've not had IVF myself but to post that to all your hundreds of friends without any knowledge of what sort of private grief any of them may be going through shows a real lack of self-awareness it makes me reassess how I think of them

I will also immediately think less of someone who swears at their children.

at catching someone stealing money from you "lady I wouldn't trust them either!

We had a new family start at dc's school and the mum seemed very nice and friendly so we accepted an invitation to go round after school but she spent the entire 3 hours talking about herself or interrupting me so she could talk about herself. I cannot stand people who do this so I have managed to avoid going back there.

Also agree with most of the above, particularly the anti vaccine or very religious types.

I also tend to be very wary of that person that seems to be in every workplace who slides up to you when you're brand new to tell you all of the gossip / office politics

I judge people who don't have an iPhone :). Just get off your high horse, give and get one, they are fantastic prices of kit.

I first bought an apple product in 1996. The tech department I worked in used them as they were far superior for mathematical modelling at that time. Nobody has managed to convince me yet that any of the copycat brands are better.

Men, even those who I really like(d), who make sexist "jokes". It's impossible to explain, but some people can make an obviously ridiculous sexist remark, like "well I'd ask you to split the bill, but you wouldn't be able to with your tiny lady brain", and I KNOW they're joking because it's so absurd and they're obviously referencing stupid sexist views. Then there are people who can make similar (on the surface) jokes and I know it's the shadow of a real belief below the surface.

Anyone who posts the following or similar on facebook..

So sad and upset, cant believe this has happened..:( :( in tears :(

People reply -
OMG, Whats wrong?
You ok Hun?
Do you need to talk?
Are u ok?

Them. - i will pm you. dont want to talk about it on facebook :(

Then why the buggery fuck put it on in the first place you crazy drama freak.

SunnyBaudelaire do you really think less of adults who read harry potter? I read them all once or twice a year!