To think less of my friend? (And to ask what puts you off a person)

[MonkeyPJs]

I have been friends with a woman for a while now, but recently, while in a cafe, she was awful to the wait staff after the service was a little slow (it was busy) talking to them like they were sub-human, and being rude and demanding. It was embarrassing! Ever since then I've thought less of her, and now not so sure I want to be close friends with someone who can be so unkind to others. She's always been nice to me, though.

AIBU to think less of her because of this one event? She wasn't having a bad day to my knowledge, and was perfectly pleasant to me both before and after talking to the waitress - as if nothing were wrong.

If IANBU, is there anything else that makes you think less of someone like this?

Battery if it's a small amount I agree but I've had people try to "split the bill equally" when they've had 2 pints a starter main and dessert and I've had a starter and glass of water...

You should just pay for your own

Oh dear Arsenic, oh dear. Not a good look

"It happens"

Gosh, some of these reasons are less, um, reasonable than others.

You think less of:
People who are rude to waitresses, yes, I get that one.

People who are racist, yeah, can see that.

People who own an iPad. Huh?

People (adults) who read Harry Potter. Ok, don't agree but can see your point.

People (adults) who read Harry Potter whilst you profess to think Lemony Snicket books have 'literary merit!' No sorry, lost me there. Have you ever tried reading A Series of Unfortunate Events aloud? Excruciatingly bad.

I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. What they do is not what you have done so live and let live. I've made mistakes growing up and in the heat of showing off - we all have.

And people who don't dye their hair. Their choice. But I always instantly think "and we will never be friends."

See, Lashes, fine. But it makes me back away...

Sorry, I should have been more specific: ranting Dawkins-worshipping atheists and the kind of mn feminists who insist 'most women have been raped' and deny that class is the biggest oppressor in the West.

Battery why though? Why should someone else have to pay for someone else's food? How is that fair?

I could understand if there was a £2 difference or something but I don't think it's right to ask someone to subsidise your meals

Copy cats..... in every sense, just stop it, it's so cringe!

People that post every detail of their life on FB. Oh look here's my breakfast/lunch/three course meal/haircut/application form (actually) for my daughters new dance school!!

"You seriously think less of people who believe that women are not inferior to men, and that men and women should be treated equally?"

You say that, but I have yet to know a feminist who was not the mirror image of an extreme misogynist, even to the extent where in-depth conversation happens, of trying to dictate how I should run my home, my family and my marriage to me (like a controlling husband would), and suggesting destructive, poisonous approaches to problems on ideological grounds.

So while I personally accept that some feminists might not be like that (and haven't disowned friends for it), I can understand why people might run a flipping mile if they have had a similar experience to me.

Lashes because it's petty. I know all the arguments for and against but in my personal opinion I don't gravitate to those for whom bill splitting matters. It's a never-the-twain thing.

I don't see how it's petty to not have to pay for someone else's pint but each to their own

I just deleted a FB friend for trying it on with the some pyramid cosmetics scheme.

Sent me a text I never replied to, and now a FB message.

I'm not even going to reply.

She has also been a mother precisely a nano second and already her feed is full of the wonders of being a mother, if you are a great mum this, and if being a mum is the peak of your personal success that.

WTF do you know?, kid's not even weaned FFS.

Lashes, I realise you don't see. And that's why Id back off. Fundamentally what's importsnt to one of us isn't important to the other.

'You say that, but I have yet to know a feminist who was not the mirror image of an extreme misogynist, even to the extent where in-depth conversation happens, of trying to dictate how I should run my home, my family and my marriage to me (like a controlling husband would), and suggesting destructive, poisonous approaches to problems on ideological grounds.'

Hello My name is lylasmam202 and I am a man-loving feminist, who has never told anyone how to run their home, family or marriage. I just believe in equal rights for all!

Battery why don't you want to be friends with someone who doesn't dye their hair? It's taken me years to get back to my natural colour and it looks much glossier now.

Do you have a preference for a particular colour.

Anyone who says "they come over here and take our jobs".

Someone who told me they wouldn't move to Bedford as it was too Polish!!!!

I had a friend who works in STEM and otherwise seemed totally reasonable. Until she started ranting about homeopathy and people poisoning their children (meaning people vaccinating and using antibiotics).

People who casually use words like r*rd, s**z etc and who claim it's all "pc gone mad"

And anyone who waxes lyrical about their amaaaazing pain-relief-free home birth. Bore off.

batteryparkbride "And people who don't dye their hair. Their choice. But I always instantly think "and we will never be friends.""

I don't get it. Do you mean you only like people who dye their hair an "unnatural" - for want of a better word - colour? Like purple, or pink or something? Otherwise, unless their roots were coming through, how would you know? If someone already had nice coloured hair why should they dye it, in your opinion? Why couldn't you be friends with someone who didn't dye their hair?
Would you drop a friend who stopped dyeing his/her hair?
For what it's worth, I do dye my hair, but can't imagining judging anyone's worth by whether they did or not.

I am very open minded about lots of things, and am pretty tolerant of friends' differing views... but go off someone if I detect meanness.

"Hello My name is lylasmam202 and I am a man-loving feminist, who has never told anyone how to run their home, family or marriage. I just believe in equal rights for all!"

Would you ever say to anyone at all "all women are sluts"/"all men are potential rapists"?

If so, that's a start. ;)

Opinionated hypocrites. Really, no need to share every-sodding-thought-in-your-head.
People who are always 'onto something' as my mother would say. Have a 'friend' who constantly figuring how to make money on everything - used to buy loads of toys in post -Christmas sales for her child's birthday & resell to family members for full price - I know this may get a flaming - but really does know how to work the system & boy does she ever. And then shares about it.
Was always a bit wary, final straw she offered to pick up something for my dd, told her it wasn't a problem I could do it another day, but she insisted. Then discovered she had got it reduced price, claimed cash-back on it and still charged me full price. I should've known really, but am ever disappointed in people.

Friends who tag me or anyone else in Facebook with lots if emoticons and hashtags after.

People who don't know me and call me 'babe'.

Casual sexism, racism, ageism and anyone who's just offensive for no reason.