To think less of my friend? (And to ask what puts you off a person)

[MonkeyPJs]

I have been friends with a woman for a while now, but recently, while in a cafe, she was awful to the wait staff after the service was a little slow (it was busy) talking to them like they were sub-human, and being rude and demanding. It was embarrassing! Ever since then I've thought less of her, and now not so sure I want to be close friends with someone who can be so unkind to others. She's always been nice to me, though.

AIBU to think less of her because of this one event? She wasn't having a bad day to my knowledge, and was perfectly pleasant to me both before and after talking to the waitress - as if nothing were wrong.

If IANBU, is there anything else that makes you think less of someone like this?

I didn't say it was offensive; it shows a puerile narcissism that I couldn't tolerate in a friend.

I also think this when I see selfies on FB etc.

Anyone that uses their knife like a pen: they can be as hoity toity as they like but if they use their knife like a pen I quietly note it and make a little silent judgement about their social background.

Apart from that, there are very few things that shock me about human nature. I'm pretty accepting of everyone's foibles; we're all human and have a right to our beliefs/fetishes/quirks.

I take a dim view of intentional cruelty to other humans and animals though. No excuse for that.

The "people with no books" thing is hilarious. What is so special about books and reading?

Facebook over sharers
Women who say "I don't get on with other women because there all bitches"- actually anyone who says this
People who have no self awareness/ take no responsibility
Facebook shamers- trying to shame your dp/exdp just makes you look like an abusive arse
People who are cruel to children/animals/ anything more vulnerable than them
Ched Evans supporters

They're even

Wannabe, I was severely bullied by girls at school because I didn't fit in with them. While I'd never say ALL women are bitchy I can certainly understand where those people are coming from. Why does it put you off?

All isms and playing ridiculously loud music in cars. I went to the supermarket this week, coming out, I could hear this loud and I mean loud music. It was from a car about twenty metres away. A young couple emerged along with a little boy, 18 months topside. Poor little thing should have had ear defenders!

I'm the anti-woo. I have no faith or belief in religion, fortune telling, ghosts, crystal healing, reiki, horoscopes, tarot, reincarnation, the afterlife, ouija readings, exorcism, witchcraft or fucking magic.
It has occurred to me now that all of my closest friends are the same, thought they don't necessarily know one another. I know and like people who do have faith in one or some of those things and I treat their belief or faith with outward respect...but I have realised that I can't take them seriously enough to forge a closer, more confidential relationship.

So there's mine. Faith in woo. It certainly doesn't cause me to dislike a person, but chances are, they're not going to become a bestie.

Same here lashes

Its hard to explain if women are describing other women as bitches and sluts and buying into stereotypes it gives men the green light to do the same

Wannabe, I can see that. I don't think people mean it that deeply and instead are talking about what's happened to them, but I can see where you're coming from

The "people with no books" thing is hilarious. What is so special about books and reading?

You could say that about any of these posts, Cilla. No-one was asked to give reasons.

"Wannabe, I was severely bullied by girls at school because I didn't fit in with them. While I'd never say ALL women are bitchy I can certainly understand where those people are coming from. Why does it put you off?"

Well maybe because they are telling you that they don't like you and that you are a bitch?

Sashh

Where did the student come from?

This thread is a bit bonkers.

Being put off a person because they're racist, or rude, or unkind, or abusive is perfectly normal surely?

Being put off a person because they like different books? Or have different gadgets is just a bit strange.

Ipad/iPhone comment case in point. My iphone was free through work. My iPad was a present. Having more money than sense would surely be buying unnecessary new gadgets when I have perfectly excellent ones......

I couldn't be friends with a wiccan or a pagan or one of those nutters over 21 who think they look ace with multi-coloured hair and loads of metal shit in their face.

I could be friends with a woman with a superbly toned and tattoo-sleeved arm though

I couldn't be friends with a woman who manifested her need to be loved by permitting a four year old to suckle her breast.

I have an Oliver. I do feel a bit wistful about the fact he is one of three in his class (also three Evies). My other DC have top fifty names at the time but DC3's name appears to be galloping up the charts

However, we were slightly ahead of the curve with Oliver and definitely ahead of the curve with DC3 who is known by an unusual nickname anyway, and I console myself that they're popular rather than trendy if you see what I mean, and we weren't trying to be hugely original.

On the other hand we did deliberately avoid names which had been popular for a while and which therefore felt overdone - I certainly wouldn't use Oliver now and am surprised when people do, ditto Evie, Lily or Harry. Oscar and Finlay are reaching this stage too.

I don't expect to be friends with people who are very well presented - careful makeup and nice clothes. I get too envious for a start

I can't think of anything else that's a matter of taste except where it's obvious our ideas of parenting are at odds.

lashes I can totally see your point.

I've maybe watched mean girls a few too many times (I love Tina Fey) but I think the best way to get rid of queen bee/bitchy behaviour amongst some women is for supporting other women to be the default position. Women have enough against them without being against each other.

I hope that make makes sense- I'm not the most articulate of souls

Wannabe I agree, I just think it gets frustrating when you're the one trying to be reasonable and everyone else is being an arse. I agree women have enough against them

My DH used to be a bit off with waiting staff , until I started to apologise loudly to them for his behaviour , he no longer does it , at least not while I am with him . If he had carried on I would probably have left him .

I think this thread has descended in to a spiteful, snobby and very telling exercise.
I'm imagining lots of name changing later. If not, l won't be able to take some posters opinions seriously again.

What a terrifying thought

Someone who would regularly drink drive. Tried to talk to him about it but waste of time
Another who used to go out hunting.

I couldnt be friends with anyone over forty with white 'dreadlocks' and twigs and pebbles hanging from their hair.
yes these people really do exist.