To get really pissed off with old ladies telling me my DS 'isn't very happy' when he is crying?

[feezap]

My 9 month old DS has 'a good pair of lungs', he is also a bit of a drama queen and likes everyone to know how he's feeling, good or bad. I'm not worried by this, or being paranoid, a friend has described him as like an air raid siren going off!

I'm used to this and he rarely has a meltdown when we are out and about but today he was teething badly and I was in town about half an hour before he could have any medication. An old dear looked at him and then me and told me that he wasn't very happy. Really? Do you think I haven't noticed? Just bugger off.

"No one has ever enriched anyone's life by commenting on their baby crying in Tesco, so unless you're offering to commiserate by buying me gin..... then shut it."

OK,I'll just glare next time, shall I, rather than trying to symp/empathise?

You could just mind your own business?

Try it. I do it every day. I haven't died yet.

Not a great proponent of "it takes a village to raise a child then"?

Oh have a day off. You can't honestly think you're helping "raise a child" by making silly comments in Tesco.

Socialising, yes it does help. I always appreciated anyone taking the time to offer kind words in tough moments, it made all the difference sometimes.

Note to self: Never speak to mothers in Tesco.

Note to self: Ignore mothers in Tesco who comment when I'm in there with V. shouty DGC.

But I don't get how stating the obvious and pointing out a baby is unhappy is a kind word? It's not something nice you are saying. To me in that situation where nothing you can say or do will help, and the parent is likely to be feeling self conscious, the kind thing to do is pretend not to notice the crying IMO.

Saucy I just wet myself a bit reading that

Me too I love a blunt fucker, me.

We old dears don't think and didn't indicate, of course, that making a casual comment in Tesco is actually helping to raise that individual child. But, seriously, that instinct multiplied time and again over an entire culture does create a society in which people look out for and feel a responsibility for all children, not just their own.

Well, we've tried to explain the rationale behind the remarks to no avail. I actually did not know that I was expected to be completely silent and pretend not to notice in any way screaming, crying, writhing babies and toddlers in a public place, lest I cause the mother further irritation and self-consciousness. I thought acknowledging the distress was better than turning aside from what is right in one's face and under one's nose in what many people might interpret as disapproval or even disgust. But point made and will take it under advisement.

Sad, really.

I think that the majority are fine, Lala - you get the odd 'funny' person anywhere and that is their problem - no need to make it yours. You can't please everyone so I shall settle for pleasing the cheerful, friendly ones. The miserable ones will probably be miserable whatever!

You're right, Mehitabel6! Thanks for reminding me that most people, really, are quite lovely.

saucyjack totally agree!

How moral these people must feel at all the good child raising they have accomplished by telling some stranger their baby isnt happy. Hope they went home and thoroughly pat themselves on the back

I just wet myself a bit reading that

Really?

Tbh i would rather someone ignored me in said situation - 1)its awkward chit chat that i personally dont like (to be fair many people do like chit chat but you dont know everyone has different personality)

2. if your having a bad day/babys crying and you just want to go about your buisness then even a well meant comment can be unwanted - the best solution for everyone is just not say anything?

If someone banged their arm or something infront of me i wouldn't then chop in by saying 'bad day huh' as even though you might sympathise it would give most people the rage!

So when can we expect the first thread on the rudeness of old women who never even look you in the eye when your baby's crying?

Someone should start a sweeip.

If I made any comment at all to the Mum of a crying child (which I probably wouldn't) it would be motivated by a wish to make her feel better and done out of sympathy-remembering times when I have felt similarly harassed, hot and bothered.
I would certainly not be patting myself on the back for the good parenting I had done in the past.
I think some people are possibly projecting unduly negative interpretations of other people's motivations.
As someone over 60 I will now cease to interact with strangers. I'm not one for striking up conversations in bus queues anyway-but I'll speak when I'm spoken to in future.

I think ignoring someone who has hurt themselves is a bit OTT though.
Like Mrs D I am shocked that sympathising would give someone "The Rage" but whatever.

@Mrs D

Mrsdevere, are you quite well?

If someone banged their arm hard in front of me, of course I would say something. You don't just ignore someone being hurt in front of you.