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Original poster

Is this MIL's finest hour?

622 replies

namechangeorimfucked · 18/06/2015 11:54

I've had to name change because my family members know my name on here and if they knew what she was doing all hell would break loose..

MIL is currently on her way to the hospital to visit a relative (her niece). Niece has just this morning welcomed her first baby after a very traumatic labour that has lasted days. A failed induction and many hours later, she has had an EMCS and both are apparently doing well. MIL knows about all this because her SIL has been giving her updates as she receives them from her DD and her partner. She has relayed said details to me and DH.

MIL gets on ok with her SIL but does not like her niece, she has been very judgmental all through her pg, both behind her back and to her face. As a result of this, niece and MIL fell out at a family gathering about 3 months ago.

MIL received a message from her SIL saying that the baby is here but they do not want visitors til visiting time tonight. Despite being told this, MIL is going to the hospital to see the baby... Her SIL is not even attempting to go yet and its her GC.

Niece lives in another county, MIL is on her way there now, NHS staff badge around her neck, to pop in and see the baby. She accused the niece and of being 'silly' and once she gets there she will be happy to have a visitor. She also said that she has to go now because she is busy later in the week and 'can't be expected to wait for them'

The Niece's DP is on facebook now letting everyone know things are ok. Do me and DH tell him she is coming?

We explained to her that she will not be let in if they don't want to see her and she said she 'knows her way around' and is 'practically staff'. She is expecting to see the baby before her own SIL...this is going to cause a shitstorm so big it will consume us all.

OP posts:
WhatchaMaCalllit · 18/06/2015 14:29

FiveGoMad I was just wondering the same thing....there can't be two of them about surely??? Wink Smile

londonrach · 18/06/2015 14:30

(Joins purple on the sofa). Well done op and congratulations to the new mum and dad x

Radiatorvalves · 18/06/2015 14:30

Waiting for an update. Staggeringly awful.

Clutterbugsmum · 18/06/2015 14:30

Hopefully the hospital will take her details and report her to the hospital trust she works at for abusing her position.

ImperialBlether · 18/06/2015 14:31

I understand that the mum's point of view should be listened to but the fact is this MIL won't take any notice of anyone except a higher authority than her.

Original poster
namechangeorimfucked · 18/06/2015 14:34

No update yet... I just can't believe that the first 24 hours of their daughters life has already included drama caused by MIL. I think this is the earliest she has ever tried to control someone. A new high score...

OP posts:
Bloodymidges · 18/06/2015 14:35

..... does the Mil think there is any higher authority than her?

OP I really hope this works out ok. It's just so sad that this poor woman is having the first day with her baby spoilt by all this drama.

Original poster
namechangeorimfucked · 18/06/2015 14:39

It's just so sad that this poor woman is having the first day with her baby spoilt by all this drama.

Too right Midges, the tragic thing is- I'm pregnant with her first GC.

We were confident with the systems we have already put in place to keep her at bay around the pregnancy/ babies arrival (has NOT been easy). But after this I really don't know what she is going to do. DH is even talking about going no contact before our baby arrives.

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 18/06/2015 14:40

I doubt that a mere phonecall would deter this woman. Hopefully she gets escorted off the premises and reported to her employers. That might make her realise the gravity of what she's done.

However I bet she plays the victim.

McKayz · 18/06/2015 14:42

Namechanged, congrats on the pregnancy. I think your DH should have very stern words and then go no contact if she chooses to ignore your wishes.

knittingirl · 18/06/2015 14:42

This is awful.

I think in your shoes I would definitely not be telling her I had gone into labour. And wouldn't tell her that the baby had arrived until 12 hours later when I felt like I could stand a visit (because she'll be there).

Foffyouwanker · 18/06/2015 14:42

What a stupid and selfish mil you have! Hope she is sent away with a flea in her ear!

BrieAndChilli · 18/06/2015 14:42

I would tell her a due date that is several weeks after your real one, hopefully then you can go into labour without her realising! Luckily your DH seems to be completely on your side and wise to her tricks so she shouldn't be able to get one past hime

StockingFullOfCoal · 18/06/2015 14:43

If any of my NC family members turned up at hospital after a text book birth my DH would fucking eviscerate them, let alone one as traumatic as this.

Angry I would like to volunteer to go put this selfish entitled narc right in her fucking place and then I'd make sure she was fired from her job, surely its gross misconduct?!

McKayz · 18/06/2015 14:43

I imagine if anyone rang mil now she would have a million excuses ready.

CrystalHaze · 18/06/2015 14:43

I just can't believe that the first 24 hours of their daughters life has already included drama caused by MIL.

I guarantee you, this was not an accident. This was the whole point of MIL's behaviour.

Bloodymidges · 18/06/2015 14:44

Oh christ - poor you! If your DH is suggesting no contact I'd jump at it. Your baby will be 'HER' first grandchild. Therefore in her eyes, her needs will come first. I would keep it to a very trusted few when you go into labour.

diddl · 18/06/2015 14:44

" DH is even talking about going no contact before our baby arrives."

Maybe if she finds out that you forewarned her niece she'll make that decision for you!

As you said though, it's odd that your nieces mum kept updating her.

No wonder she thinks that she is important & that her niece will want to see her!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 18/06/2015 14:44

I think NC is about the right choice before your own DC arrives. IF she's like this with her great niece/nephews arrival, she'll be even worse come her own GC arrive.

CrystalHaze · 18/06/2015 14:45

I think in your shoes I would definitely not be telling her I had gone into labour.

^ 1000 times this! Do not mention even a twinge to her!

namechangefortoday543 · 18/06/2015 14:46

If the new parents tell the staff she is on her way and they DO NOT want her to visit then she WILL NOT be allowed in.
if she insists security will be happy to escort her from the hospital - she seems a bit deluded that her NHS badge is giving her these rights.
Is she a HCP ? most would not do this !

Reignbeau · 18/06/2015 14:46

Hope she gets thrown out on her arse and disciplined at work for such a stupid stunt with her ID badge. I'd have been livid if I was the niece to have someone I wasn't even speaking to turn up to cause trouble.

redshoeblueshoe · 18/06/2015 14:48

I agree with Brie, but I'd also be putting in a complaint about her phone call, as she will assume she can just ring the staff who are dealing with you. I'm guessing she doesn't know about you yet, if not I'd delay telling her for as long as possible. If your DH is serious about NC I'd be inclined to start now, before she has the opportunity to criticise every thing you do Flowers for you.

StonedGalah · 18/06/2015 14:48

Oh dear. Just checking in for the hopefully epic update!

Fizrim · 18/06/2015 14:51

I would seriously consider making a complaint about the phone call - and I am kinda hoping something epic happens at the hospital (but just between your MIL and the staff, not the relatives!).