Is this MIL's finest hour?

[namechangeorimfucked]

I've had to name change because my family members know my name on here and if they knew what she was doing all hell would break loose..

MIL is currently on her way to the hospital to visit a relative (her niece). Niece has just this morning welcomed her first baby after a very traumatic labour that has lasted days. A failed induction and many hours later, she has had an EMCS and both are apparently doing well. MIL knows about all this because her SIL has been giving her updates as she receives them from her DD and her partner. She has relayed said details to me and DH.

MIL gets on ok with her SIL but does not like her niece, she has been very judgmental all through her pg, both behind her back and to her face. As a result of this, niece and MIL fell out at a family gathering about 3 months ago.

MIL received a message from her SIL saying that the baby is here but they do not want visitors til visiting time tonight. Despite being told this, MIL is going to the hospital to see the baby... Her SIL is not even attempting to go yet and its her GC.

Niece lives in another county, MIL is on her way there now, NHS staff badge around her neck, to pop in and see the baby. She accused the niece and of being 'silly' and once she gets there she will be happy to have a visitor. She also said that she has to go now because she is busy later in the week and 'can't be expected to wait for them'

The Niece's DP is on facebook now letting everyone know things are ok. Do me and DH tell him she is coming?

We explained to her that she will not be let in if they don't want to see her and she said she 'knows her way around' and is 'practically staff'. She is expecting to see the baby before her own SIL...this is going to cause a shitstorm so big it will consume us all.

Op you do realise if she stopped by security you might not know anything to a very cross mil returns.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I'd definitely give her a fake EDD if you really have to tell her anything, so she isn't hovering around waiting for you to go into labour.

Your DH is right, go NC.

She isn't a HCP (no one this fucked up would be allowed to 'care' for people) she's in the offices..

We have actually lied about my due date by about three weeks, this was DH's idea. I let him handle her mostly because he knows how to the best.
DH also mentioned to her that we will not be telling anyone when I am in labour, to which she replied 'Well I will know where you are!' This caused a huge argument between MIL and DH... she sometimes works at the hospital I will be going to to have DC and she says that she is going to 'request to be transferred there' for the whole month I am due...little does she know its not actually the month she thinks.

the whole family make jokes about her behaviour and attitude. Most of the time its just minor over bearing, clingy, guilt- trippy stuff. But then something like this happens and you just can't believe what you are witnessing. She has a reputation in her family as been difficult. But most people just except her, she sees herself as the matriarch of the family.

I want the epic update of her being thrown out. Please be extra cautious with your baby OP. Your DP sounds like he will be a big help.

Are you saying she'd look on the hospital records to see whether you had been admitted?

what a cow bag - i hope you have told her your due date is actually DD+20!?!

hahaha - cross post!

If shes looking at your records and she has no reason to that instant dismissal. Report! Keep that baby safe and congratulations x

I think I'd back your DH up about going NC if I were you. I don't think you'll get a 'better' (if that's the right word) opportunity to draw a line in the sand and protect your DC from her.

Jesus christ I can't believe this woman! Poor DN and her DP, this should be a lovely day, where they are bonding with their new baby and DN rests after her labour. They shouldn't be having to deal with MIL!

Please update us OP!

Imperial She would, but more likely she would sniff around the maternity floor, ask people if I had been admitted. When we say our name at the front desk, people would ask if we are related to her (as they have done before), and it would get back to her.

She knows a LOT of people. It would be impossible really to keep track of everyone who could mention it to her, thinking that she already knows. They would most likely say something like "I hear your son's wife has been admitted, you must be so excited!"

Oh shit shes on the phone with DH now...

ooooh do share!

Omg!!

Love a good mil thread. I hope you can sort her out before your baby arrives op. Fab plan to change the due date!!!

I'm

I really hope this is the turning point for your family to stop putting up with her narc ways.

Literally on the edge of my seat here....

I love a real time update thread. I am astounded by this woman and proud of you for protecting the poor woman who just gave birth - go you!

I really think you should complain about the phone call, and tell them she is intending to illegally access your records, and get the new dad to also complain, I don't know the procedure within NHS, so if she gets a warning for one offence she might still carry on.

Is this MIL's finest hour - oh no I think she is practising for when your baby is born.

Could you not change your hospital. I would. Failing that hire bouncers.
I would also forewarn the hospital staff that if any info about your pregnancy is leaked you will be pursuing action for breach of confidentiality.

I disagree with letting her get to the ward and then being thrown out.

It's going to cause a dispute with the busy staff, and if the MIL starts a row it will disrupt their work. She might even succeed in bullying her way past a junior staff member who is less assertive.

It might not be as much 'fun' for the relatives but it would be best to deter her before she arrives.

Having said that, I'm as keen as anyone to hear the outcome...

DPA means that they should not be giving out ANY information about you being there - in this case i would be telling staff on the ward that no information is to be shared with ANYONE not directly involved with your care and you will be reporting anyone who tells her

Have to go on school run but will be checking thread soon as!!

Oooh, what's happened?