To think this is rude at a concert

[TheRobbingBastards]

We went to DS's Summer concert last night. This is a big event for the music department and the children who perform.

My judgey pants were pulled well up at the couple who arrived with two younger DS's (about 7is) in tow, plonked themselves in the front row then fished an iPad in a luminous green case out of a bag. The two boys then spent the whole concert playing a game that involved much waving of arms. All the time they were sat in front of the stage, in direct eyeline of the children performing

In fairness they had the sound down, both boys stayed in their seats all the way through the concert and apart from the occasional muffled gasp or cheer they were quiet. I also realise that expecting DC to behave themselves through an event like that is easier said than done, and don't necessarily judge the parents for using an iPad to keep them entertained. It's more the inconsideration of allowing them to distract the performers as well as the audience several rows behind them.

So AIBU and curmudgeonly or was this unnecessarily rude and thoughtless?

Totally agree with this, but it's surely reasonable to expect that it doesn't have to be in the front row

Wtf. No.

Missduke are you really saying people with children with SN cannot participate in a discussion about ipad use at concerts? Their children are relevant too. It's not then vs us or discussions can only be about NT kids or children with SN.

More segregation.

Why am I not surprised someone is applauding that narrow minded post.

And as for patting Hazey on head because she have consideration to how she could slip out easily...how patronising.

Have seen enough. Have reported the particularly disablist posts.

No desire to read more of them just now.

i remember ds school play in primary, dd sat at the front, due to her wheelchair, if she didn't she wouldn't have been able to see. not one person minded.

The theatre has a side exit and a back exit - similar to most theatres. When we have sat further back ds can't see his sisters it becomes a mass of people. He is also better when he is at the front of a room full of people rather than the back looking at them, if that makes sense.

The reason why people bring up the subject of children with special needs, is because their children have often been - that child making noises, that child waving their arms around, that child unable to sit in a restaurant with an iPad etc. So they come on to give a different view point and also to point out that maybe those children do have sn, it might be worth giving them the benefit of the doubt, because you don't know.

The reason people bring it up is because it's their children and they are as entitled to bring them into it as anyone.

Bottom line.

I don't understand why threads like this always turn to SN. I actually blame those posters for how this thread has gone, it should never have been mentioned.

Of course we have a right to mention it.

Using a tablet etc can make the difference between some children with SN being able to cope with certain situations - like the one hazey described and with them being excluded. That's a huge benefit for parent, child and anyone else watching the show, isn't it?

But the parent who takes an NT child to a school performance, sits them in the front row and then allows them to be totally disengaged with the performance - why? The children might as well have not been there. Another child's relative with sight or hearing issues might have appreciated being nearer the stage. And waving their arms around with excitement over something in the game is going to be distracting for the other audience members.

A child using a tablet might cause some slight initial disturbance for other audience members, even if the screen is dimmed - but if the reason is to allow the child to be a part of their siblings performance, then isn't it just the equivalent of another child hugging a favourite bear for comfort?

I was a John Barrowman concert a couple of weeks ago, and there was a young man seated directly in my eyeline who rocked very noticeably. Yes, it was a bit distracting at first, but I noticed that when JB was singing, the young man sat very still and was totally engrossed. So just a very small amount of tolerance meant that this chap was able to be like every other audience member and have a great evening out.

Oh that pesky SN brigade.

If you scroll up you will see people were supported by MNHQ who said some posts were unsupportive.

Did you miss that as well as the posts saying people should sit at the back?

if someone had insisted that their SN children were 'entitled' to sit in the front row, using an ipad, waving their arms and totally throwing her off balance I would have been beyond furious at their selfishness and lack of awareness

yes sit at the back. You do have to think of others

Direct quotes

FanjoForTheMammaries I have never known a poster on here to be so determined to be offended. This isn't the first time I have said that to you either. Of course I am not saying we shouldn't mention our children with special needs, but of course you took from my post what you wanted to make it appear offensive. I said THIS thread should not have been made about SN. NOT EVERYONE who uses an ipad in public has SN!! So we aren't allowed to discuss their use without offending someone with a child with SN? Nonsense.

Your responses to me there were extremely rude, but to be honest it actually made me laugh.

*Totally agree with this, but it's surely reasonable to expect that it doesn't have to be in the front row

Wtf. No*

Why not?
Report away, it's what you do...as soon as anyone disagrees with you!
You're not a nice person at all are you? We all want what's best for our children, it's a parenting website for all parents and all children. You totally ignore people trying to make reasonable suggestions and points, hand out emojiis, use out of contexts quotes to make people sound bad - very poor form to ignore the 8 yo recently bereaved child and just focus on one thing ht op was trying to say. Examples from above - "intolerant idiots" "bigots" "that lot" etc, and you have the cheek to report other people?
Rant over, hides thread

Rude and aggressive? No.
Maintaining that our children have as much right to access anything as others? Yes.

Inclusion may be unpalatable at times but it is our children's right.

I'm still not seeing posts saying that SN children should always sit at the back, or not participate. Just posters outlining reasons as to why sometimes a compromise might have to be reached, in order to consider all of the children involved in a situation.

why should the kids with sn have to compromise?
they spend most of their life doing it anyway, your all only a car crash away from sn your selves.

I'm not a nice person? Thanks

The bereaved child was nothing to do with the quote I addressed which was made directly towards someone whose kids have SN.

Apart from that I won't dignify your nasty rant with an answer.

And the attitude that we should somehow be meek, humble and grateful for our children being included (as long as they don't cause inconvenience).

Would these posters accept their children being treated as 'other'? As second class citizens?

Why can't we post about our own parenting lives? This is our lives, our parenting experiences, on a parenting forum.

Because in some situation Samcro compromise is necessary to ensure the needs of others are also met. Obviously SN children should be accommodated, but so should children with other issues and it doesn't have to be 'either' 'or', just working out something that will work for everyone. That's what inclusive is about, treating everyone as an equal member of society or a community.

You did quote out of context Fanjo. But how handy to do that and then try and get posts removed so no one can call you on it.
That poster made it clear that she was saying in a particular situation, involving another child who had issues, she would have been furious if a SN child had been accommodated one hundred percent, while another vulnerable child was given no consideration whatsoever.

How handy?

Someone said no one had suggested kids with SN sat at back and I quoted that they had.

But carry on your silly theories.

Water off a ducks back.

At no point has anyone said that the needs of any child should be more important than another.