To think a surgeon should ask permission before drawing on your body

[Purringkittenmama]

A while ago, I was referred to a breast surgeon for a lump to be investigated. Is it in any way OK, after being prodded for a few seconds, for him to turn to the (lovely) nurse with him, and say 'Do you have a pen?' before turning back to me and drawing on the area. Without asking me, warning me he was going to do this, anything. For the ultrasound people I think (although they seemed a bit taken aback to see that he'd marked it). AIBU to still feel angry/upset/ violated by this?

Limited period only, you're relating 'Take a Break' magazine as a truthful experience of the consent procedure for an operation? Give the NHS a fucking break, honestly.

"Marking the area is done for your benefit."

I don't think anyone's disputing this.

Ethylred your post reads like something that an utter bitch with a gaping chasm where most people's empathy resides might post.

Sorry, posts (plural)

you're relating 'Take a Break' magazine as a truthful experience of the consent procedure for an operation? Give the NHS a fucking break, honestly.

Yes, HeebieJeebie Are you seriously suggesting that high-handed, rude and superior people do not exist in senior roles in the NHS or that it is easy for junior staff or inarticulate patients to report their unease at such types?

Honestly?

As I've said, I have been in hospital for extended stays for serious operations myself and have experienced that attitude from a minority of senior staff and their enablers who are either in thrall to them or simply owe them their jobs.

The most assertive person, which I am, can be vulnerable so someone like the woman in Take A Break is a pushover. Especially when people are unwilling to believe her story because she is small and a surgeon is mighty.

They might even scoff at her experiences or expect her and others to be grateful to the great man for saving their lives while trampling on their feelings.

What do you reckon Ethylred

No, I'm not suggesting that. How did you draw that conclusion? Your straw man argument is ridiculous. Instead I would suggest that Take a Break might be inclined to sensationalise and exaggerate.

Yabu

It's normal practise whenever I've had procedures.

Asking a surgeon to be tactful and have good bedside manner might be a bit like asking the Pope to be laid back about contraception choices.

YABVU.

He should have said what he was going to do before doing it, but nowadays you have to have the area marked prior to surgery, or investigation. It's unacceptable not to do it. Stops the wrong side being operated/investigated on

You consented to an examination and that was part of it, so YABU.

YABU. I haven't RTFT but from your op you state that he had already examined you so it's not as though it was his first physical contact with you.

Get a grip.

I think that YABU for feeling angry & violated.

But it really wouldn't have hurt him to say "I just need to mark the area".

Yes, he might have gone through the exact thing countless times already that day.

He might have a routine that he sticks to.

But it was OPs first time there.

The same routine doesn't work for everyone.

best wishes to all of you undergoing treatment in your position I would not care if the doctor recreated the Bayeux tapestry if it helped me get better.

When I did my Access to Health Care Professions course there was a huge focus on communication (body language, tone of voice, language used, consent, empathy, autonomy, etc) within health care, with a particular focus on the NHS. It was drummed into us how important, even the little things are. One of the reasons they're important is that without a good bedside manner a patient is at risk of feeling dehumanised which, believe it or not, does impact on their overall health outcome; it's not all about how technically good you are, your interpersonal skills must be good too. So I do not think Purring should "get a grip", the surgeon should simply have said he was going to draw on her

Whataload, I completely agree with you. It is best practice.

They have to make a mark on you where they are going to operate, but really he should have made you aware he was going to do it.

I fully respect everyone's right to an opinion. However, are those who think IABU really saying that just because it is standard practice to mark an area, there needs to be no communication of this at all beforehand? That it is OK to simply do it just because we should all be so grateful that they may be able to help us if we are ill? (By doing their job). That we should think that being treated with contempt (which I believe it is, if someone leaves a lasting mark on your body without a quick, 'is this OK?') is perfectly acceptable?
I did not complain, nor will I. To echo Limited (thanks for your messages Limited), I imagine I would be told to get a grip. And at the time, when one is feeling vulnerable, exposed, possibly reliant on this person for further treatment, one does not feel in any position to question their attitude.

I would consider it quite normal, other than the type of pen used! A Bic wouldn't be very comfortable at all. When I had an eye operation the surgeon drew a huge arrow on my forehead pointing at the correct eye and later came back and drew a circle around it, "Just in case." It was a nice felt tip and thankfully not a Sharpie. I couldn't wash my face for a week so looked very odd!!

Ideally the surgeon could have said, I'm just going to mark the area for the scan or something along those lines. He shouldn't have to ask your permission or ask if it's ok because it's such a none event and required as part of your treatment. He was just doing his job.

I'm currently being seen about a, hopefully benign tumour in my skull. I couldn't care less if they shaved my head as long as they do a good job.

No wonder Dr's are so scared of lawsuits and the NHS is under such strain.

And just to add I truely hope everything turns out ok for you OP.

It would have been polite of him to at least let you know what he was going to do, but - without wanting to seem insensitive - if you're getting lumps in your breasts looked at, do you not have more important things to be worrying about??