To think a surgeon should ask permission before drawing on your body

[Purringkittenmama]

A while ago, I was referred to a breast surgeon for a lump to be investigated. Is it in any way OK, after being prodded for a few seconds, for him to turn to the (lovely) nurse with him, and say 'Do you have a pen?' before turning back to me and drawing on the area. Without asking me, warning me he was going to do this, anything. For the ultrasound people I think (although they seemed a bit taken aback to see that he'd marked it). AIBU to still feel angry/upset/ violated by this?

WhereTheFuck

Think you're being a tad precious OP.

Although I do admit appreciating that the doctor who came to stitch me up after ds was born did introduce himself by his first name and politely apologised that he would need to put his finger up my bum if that was ok. Under those circumstance I would say it is at least good manners to do so.

WhereTheFuck. Sorry if I've caused any offence to you. I really do wish you all the best.

I've had two very serious bouts of surgery. Both times most of the staff were great both technically and emotionally.

But both times there were a couple of arrogant individuals.

If that's okay, why do the vast majority of other staff make the effort to treat their patients as human beings and not lab rats?

If you cannot maintain a polite manner you should not be dealing with live patients, no matter what your technical skill.

There are plenty of people who possess both attributes.

I think you're being very unreasonable but under the circumstances its understandable. We don't always have a rant about what it is thats really upsetting us and in this case I don't think it was 'just' the marks being drawn on your breasts.

WHereTheFuck

No need to apologise, I'm not offended. It just struck me as somewhat trivial under the circumstances, but your feelings are as valid as mine obviously. I hope you got a good outcome.

I think 'violated' is way over the top. I also don't think he did anything wrong. He was doing his job, it's part of it.

I think 99% of people would fully expect to be marked in the appropriate area for scans etc. YABU

Yabu it's totally common practise. I've had lots of surgery on my hip and they just draw it on! I've also had some tests on said hip which involved having my knickers yanked down so they could get the needle in. I'd rather they be focused and do it right then mess it up!

WhereTheFuck, how are you now?

Yabvvvu.

Unless it was a cock and balls yabu.

He's not "drawing" on you.
He's marking a potential cancer on you for his colleagues to investigate further.

YANBU because when you are dealing with illness you are still a person with feelings and it's not unreasonable to be asked first before drawing on you.

'Touching a patient without their consent is assault.'

Is thst a legally recognised offence, or just your interpretation?

Surely there are many cases in which a medical professional would need to touch a patient without getting consent first?

Wherethefuck

I have major problems with my pelvis that requires regular hospital treatment and stays. My surgeon has to mark me before he injects me, under GA. He comes in, with a pen, and draws all over my pubic area. He just prods I say it hurts, he marks me. It looks like a dot to dot. If he said "Fairy, can I draw on you?" before every mark we'd be there all bloody day. I just accept it as part of the examination and the treatment.

I do think YABVVU.

To be honest it would be quite low on my list of worries in your situation.

It wasn't that he did it. It was that he didn't bother even asking if it was OK.

Would you have said no, it was not ok, under the circumstances?

Maybe asking first would have been a courtesy, but my assumption would be that you wanted the procedure to proceed effectively as possible.

So, the concept that they would need to mark you to be sure of clear communication between themselves and someone else, is not unknown to you?

It would have been considerate if he had said he was going to do so, I think YABU to use the word violated as if the very idea was new and unexpected.

Yabu. Surely you knew this would happen? I have never had surgery but am somehow aware (tv maybe?) that this is standard practice.

As for needing permission before touching - my midwife did some pretty thorough touching of my tummy this morning. She didn't ask me if she could. I don't think she assaulted me .....

I think it would have been nice for him to tell you but it's not a bug deal. I wouldn't think twice about it

I felt uncomfortable once at the breast clinic when a male doctor was checking my breast - he got a call on his mobile and whole he took the call he left his hand on my breast for a minute or two. I found it weird as he wasn't actually checking my breast during the call.

I also think some people are being unkind to the OP. I'm sure she's aware there are worse things that could happen. I agree with those who have said it would be courteous and good bedside manner to inform the patient you're going to draw on them, especially an area like a breast. The surgeon was reasonable to draw but should have explained what he was doing and why. It would only have taken a second.

I had a laparoscopy a few years ago and when I woke up discovered they'd shaved me while I was under GA. I would have preferred if they'd told me this was needed and I could have done it myself in advance or told me they would do it. Obviously while I was under GA the surgeon had operated on me which you could say is much more of an imposition. But I did feel embarrassed that I'd lain there unconscious while someone got the Bic out. I didn't and wouldn't have complained about something like that but I think I do understand the OP's feelings.

WhereTheFuck and more

And I thought I had something to add to this but after reading posts from Where, Crystal and ThickThin amongst others I realised I do not.