to enjoy the idea of motherhood more than the reality of it?

[PacificDogwood]

Sigh.

Just that.

There's some other shit going on in my life and I do love my children and am fully aware how very, very lucky I am to have them (I came to motherhood late in life).
But I don't like what it has done to me.
And I really don't like every aspect of it.
I was in tears this morning over a shouted 'I hate you!' from DS4(5) which was only the straw that broke the camels sad back - somebody please hand me a grip.

Have some instead of a grip.

DS1 nearly sent me off the edge last week. He shouted "I don't like you Mummy, go away!" as I wouldn't let him hit his brother over the head.
So I did.
There's lots of motherhood I don't enjoy, the stinky nappies, the broken sleep, the constant whinge-fest that is my four year old son most days. The sense of relief when I wave him off to preschool some mornings....

On the other hand he came down in the morning last week and told me I looked nice in my new top and he likes 'reading' his baby brother a bedtime story.

You don't need a grip, but you can have a virtual and very un-mumsnet hug. Some days I just want to hide under the duvet in the hopes they'll go away and leave me alone. Other days - they make up for it.
and

Yanbu

YANBU. Motherhood is perhaps the most glorified aspect of life - part of the whole guilt tripping of women. The actual day to day of it is humdrum to excruciating though.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my DCs and genuinely wouldn't change a thing. But there are times, like now when DS wants a sleep / doesn't want a sleep; wants milk / doesn't want milk; wants the duvet on / doesn't want it on and screams about it all at 10,000 decibels that I know I couldn't be a SAHM 24/7.

Don't beat yourself up. You're human.

I really do think this is the reality of it .
It's not you .
No one tells you - or can't explain it before you do it .
For those who don't have dc it must look a nightmare . Indeed it can be .
However , there is this love . When you look at ur dc - and I can't say when they are asleep anymore as mine are teens and stay up later than me ! But - you know what I mean !!!

Oh yes, I do think I love them the most when they are asleep. Or away.

At least it's wine o'clock now - or should I have some Mother's Ruin?

you are not alone

We all have days like this. I am definately worse when I am tired.

Have a big glass of wine. And some cake too.

You are not alone. Dd3 (6) told me she wants to live with her dad if we divorce that finished me off. tough luck dd you'll be livkng with me

I remember thinking a few years back that they were particularly lovely. I was on the other side of the Atlatntic . The feeling lasted until DS decided to drop his trousers on FaceTime.

I love mine most when asleep too. So angelic. And wven more if I've had wine.

Lol, my DS bared his adorable derriere on face time too :)

Must be some arse related instinct in children.

Some days it's like living with two pint sized Mariah Carey's. I feel your pain.

Oh god. I am pregnant with DC1. What have I done.

Well it sounds like you must have at least four children and they are around primary age. I can't imagine how that's anything but hard work!!

My 14 month old is being particularly challenging at the moment. I absolutely love the bones of him but sometimes it's just so hard, so emotionally and physically draining.

Keep your chin up, I think we all feel like this at times

Oh Pacific. Would never have guessed this would be you. You are down the line from me so no advice. But have some

I think the killer combo with parenting is no escape and the fact that you are not 'allowed' to moan about a bad day or month like you can at work.

I hear you. Love the idea of parenthood, and love my two, but the responsibility and the relentless nature of it - gah.

I was a fantastic mother until ds was born. In my head i was the organised one who baked, did crafts and shit like that. My son would be well behaved, fed only organic homemade food and have that plenty-of-exercise glow. In reality I'm the shouty one who's 18 month old is, frankly borderline feral.

My daughter is 8 and going thru an I Know Better Than You and I'll Question Everything Mummy asks me to Do stage.

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever undertaken. I am constantly trying to find childcare (I work shifts) shelling out on stuff she needs, and I feel a loss of freedom. I have never seen one thing thru to the end and am forced to in this case.

Apart from the phases of difficulty, my girl is a well behaved, academically bright, loving child and on our good days I am so glad that I know her.

Yanbu and

I'm sticking at 1. I love my baby to pieces but it's so hard being a parent.

YADNBU.

Such a refreshing thread to read, and at NickyEds. I've come downstairs with a headache and the desire the shout "shut the up" at all the whining, but I resisted. Once they are asleep they are perfect though

*shut the fuck up