to enjoy the idea of motherhood more than the reality of it?

[PacificDogwood]

Sigh.

Just that.

There's some other shit going on in my life and I do love my children and am fully aware how very, very lucky I am to have them (I came to motherhood late in life).
But I don't like what it has done to me.
And I really don't like every aspect of it.
I was in tears this morning over a shouted 'I hate you!' from DS4(5) which was only the straw that broke the camels sad back - somebody please hand me a grip.

No need to be disappointed with yourself MrsGoslingWannabe.
I was too for a bit, now I'm massively relieved that I 'knew' myself and my capabilities and dare I say it, my wants, before walking into another pregnancy.

So did you have another Violator?

No, one here and it'll be remaining that way!

You see violator my sister had three very close together (16 months between 1 and two then 14 months before number 3) and loved it. She just seemed to be born for it. Makes me feel even bloody worse . Hers are teenagers now and I know she finds the teenager stage much, much harder. She thinks I worry too much. She really can't see what's wrong with "too much" C Beebies or ravioli for tea and thinks I'm making a bit of a meal of it tbh.

Yes to pp who says it's boring and about being touched out. I love ds so much but sometimes I simply can not be in the same room as him any longer. I'm a SAHM so get very, very little time to myself and this tends to build up and build up to where dp just has to take him away from me for a morning.

What can I say? It is a tough, tough job but the rewards are the most amazing. Also the downsides can be worse then the amzing love, fun and laughter that goes with it.

Just hope the downsides keep to a minimum.

Well, we made it to the pool - we arrived at half past 12 because it took 2 hours to line all my ducks boys up. FFS. Having to walk the dog first did not help either.

Whose idea was the bloody mutt?! Mine

I have no idea how I would still be standing if my standards were not as low as they are - CBeebies and ravioli? Pfft, try CartoonNetwork and McDonald both of which were consumed after the swimming.

AND I have finally managed to line up some swimming lessons for DSs3 and 4 - well overdue.

Hope you all had a good weekend during which the upsides outweighed the downsides

I think it's the extremes of emotions that make it so hard - from the cute giggling with each other to the but mummy double please & constant negotiation & whining at the word no (DD1 - 4) & sleep refusal of Dd2 - 7 months)
It's so relentless too - literally not stopping for breath from 6:30 am - 8pm.
Wouldn't change it though - just split up with not so dh & couldn't be him surviving on facetime for 20 mins 3 times a week & a few hours visiting every 2-3 weeks

Is my desire for a baby wrong then? I feel like its wrong (sort of biologically iyswim) to not have any more but then when I imagine the tedium and mundanity when they're older I think differently. On the other hand, I keep thinking 'the more, the merrier' - life with one child can be very quiet and dull.

Coming from a big family left me under no illusions of the reality of motherhood. I had a lovely childhood but I saw how hard and relentless it was for my Mum so thankfully I was well prepared. It also made be think carefully about how many DCs I could cope with and 2 was more than enough. It is undoubtedly the hardest job in the world because you just never switch off.
Michael McIntyre does a great comedy sketch about trying to leave the house with kids. Worth a watch if you want a giggle.

MrsGosling - some friends of mine have said it's perversely easier with more than one, in that they tend to entertain each other to an extent and rely on you less. But logistically of course it's simpler with one, and you only have to go through each stage once. If we have more DC I want to have two.

BertieBotts Mon 15-Jun-15 15:46:33

MrsGosling - some friends of mine have said it's perversely easier with more than one, in that they tend to entertain each other to an extent and rely on you less.

Sometimes my 4 play with each other, normally in twos, more often they do there own thing argue

I'm more relaxed with ny slack parenting with 4 and have heard myself on a good day say things such as one more doesn't make any difference etc Reality is very different. Think 4 times more washing, 3 lots of uniform, making enough food for six, my older 3 do clubs, lifts to parties etc

Yes the fighting would be the other downside. One child can't fight with themselves :o But at least you can separate them. Pergaps that's naive?Anyway, just going by anecdotes ive heard.

Hi Pacific . I always think you are fab and give sage, honest and supportive advice. Sorry you are finding parenthood so tough right now and that there are other things going on too. You are a nice person, do you have any treats planned for you soon? It is horrible when you feel just so ...ground..down.

And yy to Violator. We took the same decision re: an only. Glad it wasn't just me!

Is my desire for a baby wrong then?

MrsG, I don't think that there is a 'right' or a 'wrong' here and I can totally see how any number of children would have it's advantages and disadvantages.

The refereeing and cheerleading and general jollying along just gets quite…. tedious, I suppose.

I've not seen my kids all day other than for breakfast - just came in, all in bed.
I know I will enjoy seeing them tomorrow - absence makes the heart grow fonder
And they are very angelic lying in their beds

ocelot, aw, shucks