Bored of hearing women belly aching about 'emotional abuse' on here and in RL when most of the time the relationship has just run its course and clearly needs to end! Anyone else?

[confusedoflondon]

Just that really. 'Emotional abuse' is becoming a much over used term IMHO. People act badly particularly in relationships they may perceive themselves to be stuck in, that's life. Thoughts?

I think you need to make your point on the relevant thread, not start a TAAT.

So is it such a big deal for the label "emotional abuse" to be used (in your opinion) too frequently if it helps some individuals in unhappy/incompatible relationships decide to leave? I think sometimes people can't give themselves permission to abandon a relationship "just" because they're unhappy or seem to be incompatible, but the EA label may help them realize that they deserve better and it's OK to leave. You're just talking about how things are labelled in a MN forum, not what goes on in courts or anything so why does it matter?

Also, "bored"?

I think you're being abusive lovelyfriend!
WOW - so now who is belly aching and overusing "abuse"?

As a generalisation I think more men than women have a need to control their environment, and that includes their relationship. To obtain that control , varying degrees of emotional abuse are required. I'm not a man hater but I do observe what goes on in RL.
To dismiss posters concern is to do them a great disservice.

God, where to start?

First of all if a relationship has run it course then there are adult ways to establish this and separate.

Using abuse to do so does not mean it doesn't count as abuse.

Secondly, emotional abuse does exist and can be extremely damaging. No doubt sometimes something can be described as emotional abuse when it is not.

That doesn't mean that emotional abuse doesn't exist or isn't far too prevalent.

HTH

If you're bored take up a new hobby that you can read up on and become knowledgable about.

I think you are oversimplifying things. Not everyone has the option or emotional resources to just leave. People's lives are complicated.

Your OP is "thoughtless" in that you are dismissing very real instances of emotional abuse with knowing what on earth you are talking about.

To be so dismissive about people's genuine concerns and all to real difficult and challenging problems as they grapple with understanding why they are unhappy and living in a world of confusion and much much worse, because you are "bored" by it and too lazy to direct you own reading elsewhere to somewhere less boring for you, is "mean".

OP is clearly pretty ignorant and/or doesn't care enough about this to be worth engaging with, but it may be a valid debate to be had regardless.

Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder

Yep I've seen lots of threads over the years where posters were talking about these symptoms. Its not just for men and women relationships it's also includes siblings and parental relationships.

It's not as easy as just fucking off, sometimes self esteem is so low you don't think you can, finances are tangled, children will separated from parents. It's very glib just to say 'stop complaining and leave'

Clearly you have no experience regarding abuse so YABU and don't know what the fuck you are talking about.

I'm neither by the way, thoughtless or mean. But you're entitled to your abusive opinion.

Maybe you're really not. Maybe you just act like a twat on the internet, and in real life you're all about kittens and rainbows and supporting people instead of kicking them in the face. But hey, we've only got your posts to go on.

As you're so bored, I expect we won't be seeing you around these parts any longer. Don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.

If your bored of it the 'fuck off from MN' door is that way >>>>>>>>>>

Op say 'most of the time' not all. And I do think she/he has a valid point

Many terms get over used

Ocd is another, also ptsd

pocket

Anyone so you are saying you think MOST of the threads about emotional abuse on MN are untrue and simply overusing the term for dramatic effect?

I don't know, maybe it is overused. However a lot of the behaviour described on these boards is truly appalling and if the advice given serves to give the poster the confidence to leave their partner (whatever the label given) then surely that's a good thing?

The term EA is overused on MN.
By people who aren't qualified not have the expertise to make the judgement.

When you find out the real definition of EA and read into it extensively, then you realise that many of the claims on MN of something being EA, simply aren't.

God I know OP.

I am in a similar situation with this website

www.worldofconcrete.com

I keep clicking back to it but every day the same thing - just more about concrete conferences. I mean I know they call the website 'Concrete World', and this board says it is about 'relationships', but don't they know that people would be far more interested in pictures of kittens?

I don't understand why anyone would feel motivated to start a thread that's basically kicking people who are already down.

And btw OP, you do realise that this thread is you 'belly-aching' over something really petty, right?

Nobody actually forces you to read the threads, you know...

I don't think you can really say it is overused.

You can say it is misused of course. I'm sure it is on occasion, like a lot of terms are.

However there are clearly a great many instances of emotional abuse described on here in some detail which are not associated with the term 'emotional abuse'. At least not initially by the person it's happening to.

So perhaps it is underused, as well as overused.

I think misused might cover it.

and even so - infrequently misused, IME at any rate.

I question your motives a bit here OP as this thread seems goady.

That said I don't completely disagree with you. Certain terms are flung about on MN and overused (especially NPD / narc) by people who aren't qualified to use those terms appropriately. If it's the odd row where the air turns blue I tend to think it's fairly standard for most couples rather than assuming anyone is being abused. If however more emerges as the thread goes on sometimes there is a whole lot more shitty behaviour connected and it builds a picture of abuse.

I think if 50 people are annoyed about the use of the term, for every one who gets some meaningful help and advice about an emotionally abusive situation, that's probably a fair exchange.