Who is responsible for cleaning after this guest?

[Booboostoo]

DH and I can't agree over this ( a bit long winded but bear with me):

We have a nanny/groom/cleaner who lives in accommodation we provide with her boyfriend who also works for us. Our nanny and bf are away on holiday and FIL is visiting. We don't have a spare bedroom for FIL so we asked nanny and bf if FIL could stay at their cottage and they were happy with this.

Right before our nanny left on holiday she cleaned her cottage and changed the sheets, which I assumed she did because FIL was coming. This was lovely of her and I will thank her about. When FIL leaves I think we should change the sheets and clean the cottage so that it is ready for nanny and bf to return. DH thinks we should leave cottage as is and nanny and bf should clean it when they come back. DH argues that nanny works for us as a cleaner so it's her job to clean. I don't think it's her job to clean her cottage that she has kindly let to us, nor have to do it after a long flight back, nor have to do it on her day off.

I will eat my foot if anyone thinks I am BU, but tell me anyway because I need some ammunition to convince DH (of course I could just go ahead and clean it all by myself, but in that case I would prefer it if FIL shared a room with a DC as it is a lot less work for me. I am doing all the cleaning anyway while nanny is away, DH is not helping with that at all so I don't want to 'volunteer' for more cleaning).

[magoria]

That is not your H being pig headed.

It is him saying he is more important than your staff and that they are second class people and do not deserve the respect and treatment they have shown him.

[CatherineOfAbdomen]

Bloody Nora, I can only echo what the others have said. I think Pica's suggestion about wine etc is great too seeing as your nanny was so decent about leaving the place ready to use.
I'm astonished at your husband's attitude.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

You are right, Booboostoo. This is your employee's home. She left it clean and tidy, she has the right to return to it in the same way she left it. It was lovely of her to allow you to use it for your FiL (she didn't have to, I would think, as surely her home is part of her contract with you)?? Your DH is being a complete Knob.

[Dutch1e]

Of course she should clean it herself (assuming that your DH already pays her to clean HER OWN HOME). No? Then tell him to fuck off and buy her a bunch of flowers... And don't ever let her lend out her home again.

[GingerLDN]

It should be cleaned, bread, milk and bottle of wine/chocs for them coming home. Seriously. She sounds like a gem not many would be happy with letting someone stay in their house like that (they are effectively tenants).

[WellErrr]

And if I were your nanny and had to clean it myself, I'd bill you for the overtime and start looking for a new job.

[ThePinkOcelot]

Agree with Pinkj.

Your dh sounds like an entitled wanker to me!

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Your dh is being a total dick. That's their home. I assume there is a concession in their salaries to take into account accommodation? And even if there wasn't, it's their home
It's disgusting that he thinks it's her job to clean her own home after she kindly allows his father to stay in it. You need to buy her wine and flowers to thank her as well as leaving it spotless.

[MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself]

Your DH sounds awful. He needs to clean it.

[Katedotness1963]

I think you put them in a difficult spot even asking. That being said, you absolutely need to leave the cottage as found. A thank you gift would not be a bad idea either.

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

I suppose you could have agreed that you wouldn't clean it and that you would effectively pay her overtime to clean her own house. She might not actually have minded this solution. If FIL had stayed in your house the cleaner would have cleaned up after him but it's not her paid job to clean her own home. She left it clean for FIL so you should leave it clean for her return.

[sanfairyanne]

just pay another cleaner to do it

yanbu though and your dh is being a dick

[LavenderRain]

Your DH is a prize knob im afraid.
He lacks respect and sounds Awfully up himself.

Clean the place for her and leave flowers and wine and/or a small cash bonus.

[ConferencePear]

Well, he wasn't born into the aristocracy was he ?
Of course you/he should clean the place, preferably him, after all it was his father.

[Hissy]

You asked your nanny if your FIL could stay in her home while she was away. She could hardly refuse, could she?

YourFIL ought to have left the place spotless, and stripped his bed tbh.

of course it ought to be cleaned to or above the standard she left it in. Personally I wouldn't want anyone sleeping in my bed while I was away, unless I expressly invited them.

You've blurred the boundaries there OP, please don't ask her to do that again, put your FIL up in your house next time.

[DancingDinosaur]

Your dh should clean it.

[Viviennemary]

Your nanny was kind to let your fil stay in what is essentially their home even if it belongs to you. Of course you should make sure it is cleaned before they come back. Anything else is unthinkable.

[FarFromAnyRoad]

I was frothing away here trying to form a coherent sentence but actually this one will do just fine -

Your DH should clean it. The imperious wanker.


Credit: WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 - thank you.

Your DH sounds like he has real issues actually - does he fancy himself a cut above most other living souls?

[silveroldie2]

Your DH sounds like a prize arse - of course the cottage should be cleaned and bed clothes changed.

I suggest you show him this thread if he needs convincing.

[OTheHugeManatee]

If it was one of your rooms, in your part of the property, you'd be within your rights to wait until the nanny got back and ask her to tidy the area. But as she has made her space available to accommodate your FIL, and cleaned so as to make his stay a pleasant one, it would be utterly uncouth to make a mess of her space and leave her to clean it up when she returns. Your DH is BVU.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Well, you won't have this problem for long, if you think this is an acceptable way to treat an employee in the fantasy JillyCooperLand the pair of you profess to inhabit. All the 'lovely's' and 'so kind's' don't disguise the fact you regard her as a skivvy.

[Clutterbugsmum]

I'd tell DH to book his father into a hotel if he can not see how wrong he is in this situation.

[SuperFlyHigh]

agree with Goblin. what awful people and awful attitude towards your 'Staff'.

You should clean it, small cash bonus and flowers and wine. And don't ask to have FIL or anyone else stay on her property again. Surely if you have a big enough property you have spare bedrooms for guests?