Who is responsible for cleaning after this guest?

[Booboostoo]

DH and I can't agree over this ( a bit long winded but bear with me):

We have a nanny/groom/cleaner who lives in accommodation we provide with her boyfriend who also works for us. Our nanny and bf are away on holiday and FIL is visiting. We don't have a spare bedroom for FIL so we asked nanny and bf if FIL could stay at their cottage and they were happy with this.

Right before our nanny left on holiday she cleaned her cottage and changed the sheets, which I assumed she did because FIL was coming. This was lovely of her and I will thank her about. When FIL leaves I think we should change the sheets and clean the cottage so that it is ready for nanny and bf to return. DH thinks we should leave cottage as is and nanny and bf should clean it when they come back. DH argues that nanny works for us as a cleaner so it's her job to clean. I don't think it's her job to clean her cottage that she has kindly let to us, nor have to do it after a long flight back, nor have to do it on her day off.

I will eat my foot if anyone thinks I am BU, but tell me anyway because I need some ammunition to convince DH (of course I could just go ahead and clean it all by myself, but in that case I would prefer it if FIL shared a room with a DC as it is a lot less work for me. I am doing all the cleaning anyway while nanny is away, DH is not helping with that at all so I don't want to 'volunteer' for more cleaning).

Does your husband have a superior attitude towards The Staff or something? Very upstairs downstairs of him. He thinks he's too good to clean up his dad's mess from someone's home because they happen to be employed by him?

You are not being unreasonable. He is.

You should clean it.
They are lending you their home. It is irrelevant what her employment is.

You need to have a serious discussion with DH about the fact that it is 2015 and you are BOTH responsible for the cleaning btw.

He comes across very badly in your OP.

I agree that your nanny has been very kind letting FIL stay in her accommodation.

Your DH doesn't sound very nice.

If your DH went into work to find that his boss had made a mess, walked away from it and told your DH that it was now his job to clean it simply because he was the employee, how we he feel?

Sorry, but your DH is being a dick. Of course you guys should clean it.

Your dh is being ridiculous and Lord Fonteulroy-like.

Your DH is being a dick.

Next time, put him in the shared room with DC.

Your DH is being unreasonable and disrespectful.
That is you nanny's private space. Doesn't matter that you own it.
It was very nice of her to agree to FIL staying there.

I would just pay for another cleaner to clean it. I'm lazy. But I would absolutely make sure it is cleaned for her.

Your DH is being very disrespectful and feudal.

Sadly it is real. DH can be pretty pig headed about not doing what he calls chores.

I am a nanny and when guests have used my room in the past - my bosses have tidied it back to its neutral state and changed the bedding.

While I understand your husband - re she cleans your home; the space is her home - in lieu of a higher salary and she doesn't have to offer it up for her employers guests. If FIL had stayed in the main house then yes you could have left the sheets until Monday.

Just don't use the cottage at all. Your bloke is behaving like a twat.

Why isn't he helping with the cleaning anyway?

Your DH sounds like a arse hole. I'm sorry but he really does. If she left the place clean and tidy then she should expect that on return.

Nanny/Cleaner/Groom must be knackered after a day's work at your house .

I think you should pay for a cleaner if you and your H won't clean it yourselves.

He is being an entitled dick.

It is her home.

Why is it your job to do the chores?

How do manage to live with a man with such a low opinion of you?

Your DH is being a dick. Sorry!

YANBU, of course you should clean the cottage. DH is being a twat.

However I think FIL should stay with you.

Wtaf
Of course you should clean up.
And keep your dh away from your staff if he thinks so little of them.

I can't understand why the issue is even up for discussion, of course you'd clean it. You are probably talking about two hours maximum work, I wouldn't even discuss it with my husband I'd just do it.

Employees perform best when they are engaged, feel valued etc.

I wonder if you would start to see a drop in their performance if you did too many things like your dh is suggesting.

So lets get this straight:

It's your DH's dad who came to visit.
Your au pair & BF have done your favour, especially as her room is probably considered part of her payment a
Your DH is trying to act like the lord of the manor and refusing to do what he deems au pairs work

Your DH is BU. His dad, his mess. And for being so obstinate and acting like a dick, he can buy and nice big box of chocs or a bottle of presecco to say thanks you

My thoughts entirely Fenella

Does the husband think that cleaning is a job just for "the staff". He has a serious attitude problem.

It is her home, which she is allowing you to use as a favour. On what planet is it reasonable to thank her by leaving a mess for her to clean up when she gets back? Your DH is being unbelievably unreasonable. As for leaving you to do all the cleaning while she is away, he really is a charmer isn't he!

of course you should clean it. They are off duty and it's beyond belief your dh expects them to have to clean their house which was left clean ready fir their return until your FIL stayed. they will be exhausted from the journey and not even have a clean bed.

I'm your dh thinks that.