Who is responsible for cleaning after this guest?

[Booboostoo]

DH and I can't agree over this ( a bit long winded but bear with me):

We have a nanny/groom/cleaner who lives in accommodation we provide with her boyfriend who also works for us. Our nanny and bf are away on holiday and FIL is visiting. We don't have a spare bedroom for FIL so we asked nanny and bf if FIL could stay at their cottage and they were happy with this.

Right before our nanny left on holiday she cleaned her cottage and changed the sheets, which I assumed she did because FIL was coming. This was lovely of her and I will thank her about. When FIL leaves I think we should change the sheets and clean the cottage so that it is ready for nanny and bf to return. DH thinks we should leave cottage as is and nanny and bf should clean it when they come back. DH argues that nanny works for us as a cleaner so it's her job to clean. I don't think it's her job to clean her cottage that she has kindly let to us, nor have to do it after a long flight back, nor have to do it on her day off.

I will eat my foot if anyone thinks I am BU, but tell me anyway because I need some ammunition to convince DH (of course I could just go ahead and clean it all by myself, but in that case I would prefer it if FIL shared a room with a DC as it is a lot less work for me. I am doing all the cleaning anyway while nanny is away, DH is not helping with that at all so I don't want to 'volunteer' for more cleaning).

Tell him its about time he learnt how to make a bed op. His name isnt Gene Hunt is it ?

You definitely clean it or rather your husband should. What a pillock. She left the flat nicely so your FIL, HIS FATHER, could stay and your husband can't do the decent thing and return the compliment?!?

Your DH should clean up after his Dad.

Next time, buy an inflatable mattress and ask the kids to share while their granddad is visiting.

is that rhyming slang, aderynlas?

I think yabu to clean it as its dh's father. So firstly fil should have cleaned it, or secondly dh.

Tell him to get his marigolds on and his head out of his arse.

She is letting you use, what is in effect, her home. Therefore you clean it before she returns. Your DH is a dick.

I have been in the position of both employee and employer in this situation - of course the accommodation should be cleaned! Only once did I return to an unclean apartment after a holiday and it was horrible coming back knackered to a dirty bed and bathroom that I had to clean before I could use, not least because I'd left it pristinely clean for the guests. It really pissed me of to be honest and was the start of me realising I didn't really want to work for these people for much longer.

If your DH won't at the vey least help you with the cleaning, then maybe you could hire a temp to do it.

I find it hard to believe that you have live in help, a separate cottage yet no room in your main house for your kids' grandpa to stay in.

You clean it definitely.

YABU. Your DH's suggestion is the only realistic option. How else are the staff to be encouraged to be constantly mindful of their inferior status? If you treat them like normal people, they'll only start getting ideas above their station and that will NEVER do.

NOT. Your DH is being a dick. So he earns enough money that he thinks he's above "chores"? Ffs.

You shouldn't clean it, your husband should.

Clean it/ have it cleaned for her return. Oh, and leave a vase of flowers and a nice bottle of wine on the table.

Yanbu,obviously. He is being a dick. His father,he cleans. Or is he incapable?

Yes you clean it.
And buy wine/flowers
And make sure there's milk in for the morning she gets back
As everyone has said - it's her home!

You and DH clean it.

Next time, you go and stay in the lovely clean cottage, leave it clean and tidy for nanny's return, and let FIL share a bed with DH.

How arrogant of him.

I assume that he actually means he disagrees with you cleaning it, as I doubt he is the sort to clean anything?
What with being a man and employing a cleaning woman.

Your dh is an ass and an entitled one at that. How dare he think he can just use someone's home and leave it for them to clean up.

Bless, your husband isn't used to having staff, is he. It shows. He's embarrassing himself.

Tell him employing someone isn't the same thing as having a personal slave. Only twatty-ego types think otherwise (and I've known some, and can they hang on to their staff? No) Respect goes both ways.

She's kindly allowing you to borrow her personal home. Her job has nothing to do with that. You have to clean it, same as if you borrowed anyone's personal home.

Yanbu

Your FIL/ DH should clean it.

Why does your dh think he is above others?
He sounds repulsive.

I find it hard to believe that you have live in help, a separate cottage yet no room in your main house for your kids' grandpa to stay in

This.

Goodness me, while I appreciate you asking the question for ammunition against Lord of the Manor, it really is a no-brainer. The cottage should be left in the condition the nanny left it in, it's her home after all.

Perhaps Lord of the Manor should learn to be a little more humble and show some respect

This reminds me of some of the shitty people I've worked for as a groom.

Sorry OP but this shouldn't even be a discussion.

Btw it was very poor form for you to even have asked this of her. It's her home.

I have worked for some very smart people and had several tied cottages. I can't imagine any one of them being rude enough to ask to use my home as their guest annexe.