To think dirty nappies should be dealt with in the bathroom?

[UsernamesHarderThanBabyNames]

One of my close friends has a lovely baby daughter, around 10 months old, and I'm heavily pregnant with my first. The last two occasions they've visited me at home, the baby has needed a pooey nappy changing. Am I being unreasonable to expect her to do this upstairs in the bathroom rather than on my living room floor, with just a muslin between her dirty arse and my nice rug?! Not only does it stink but the baby is an enthusiastic crawler and flails around trying to escape, pooey bum in the air, while my friend gropes around for wipes etc. I haven't said anything (I now feel like it's too late) but have moved across the room to be further from the stench which has prompted my friend to say "you'll have to get used to this!" to which I've responded "I'm sure it's different when it's your own" even though that's not really the point since I don't plan to change stinky nappies in the living room, especially not when the baby is at an age when they're eating solids! I'm not even particularly houseproud so can't work out if I just don't get it because I'm not a parent yet?

For whoever asking about the chicken washing thread, I think it may have been this one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1991783-To-ask-if-you-clean-your-meat

It was epic

I didn't disappear because I didn't like the answers, I just went to bed! I posted because I was genuinely interested to work out if I was being unreasonable or not. I appreciate it's something that could change when my baby's here but I hope not! I did indeed tell my friend she could use our changing table (in baby's room, not bathroom) but she said the baby was too wriggly. Seems to be an issue that really divides people, but hopefully it makes people realise that what's ok in their own home isn't necessarily elsewhere (if they - ha -give a shit...).

I think that most people agree that its common courtesy to ask where its okay to change when visiting, there's no way I'd have put my wriggler on a changing table even if you'd offered because I've seen a few to many accidents/near misses with them but I would have moved to that room on the floor if you'd have preferred.

If the baby is wiggly you take the mat off the table and put it on the floor. It's not rocket science...

Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what I said...

Username. DD is 18 months and I never changed my view. I thought it was gross then and I still do now.

Things I have learnt since becoming a mum.

1. Ask if you can take your DC to a wedding. Don't be surprised when you are told no.
2. Ask if your friend who has given you the second hand clothes/bumbo/jumperoo wants it back when you are finished.
3. Ask your childless friend if it's ok to breast feed in their house.
4. Ask your friend where the best place to change your DCs nappy is when you are at their house.

The moral of the story is ........ just ask before you do. Most people are reasonable.

BF baby = nappy change anywhere! With a nappy mat though. Poos are easily contained and do not smell offensive. Wet nappy any age = the same.
Stinky nappy after weaning = wherever friend's nappy-change station is (usually baby's bedroom) or bathroom. You are supposed to dispose of solids down the loo anyway. Stinky nappies straight in outside bin (only with permission of home owner, but better that than hanging around in the bag)

So yanbu about stinky nappies, particularly in the living room. With the muslin issue I would get a cheap nappy mat from the pound shop and tell your friend to use it. As others have said, you will want one downstairs anyway.

Yes shitebag, sorry, I was replying to OP at 1404, who said her friend refused use of the baby's room on that basis. Appreciate that that wasn't quite clear!

I'm alarmed at how many people seem to think using hand sanitiser is fine as a substitute for washing with soap and water.

Personally, I'm more concerned about keeping my baby clean than my floor clean. You can bleach a floor, and a floor doesn't get sick! There's no way I'd put my baby on someone's toilet floor to change them, gross.

Besides, who the fuck even has a bathroom big enough? Do you actually put it on the floor, head next to the toilet bowl? Or can you actually fit a changing table in your loo?

I suggest you get a changing mat and offer your friend the use of it in your lounge, instead of the muslin. You might even want to try it yourself, for convenience when you have your own baby.

I wouldn't expect a guest to change their baby on my bathroom floor - discourteous.

They ought to go into another room though or a landing and not expect others to tolerate the smell.

Oh and I would never put a shitty nappy in my own kitchen bin or someone else's kitchen bin, that I would consider rude. Straight out into the big bin. And I wash my hands immediately afterwards, while disposing of the nappy.

First baby it's easy to do it all upstairs
Second and third baby not so easy with toddlers left unsupervised downstairs.

I can honestly say I always changed dd on the top of her dresser in her bedroom, it was easier to keep everything in once place, and was the right height, that said I've only got dd so didn't have the issue of watching older dc.

YANBU. There's a big difference between a newborn and a crawling baby.

I would always take my child to the bathroom in somebody else's house - unless they offered a changing table in the nursery or something. I think it's very rude to just start changing a nappy without asking in someone else's home.

And - I know that this is going to be an unpopular view - I don't think it is very dignified for a toddler/older baby to change them in the middle of a living room with an audience. 10 months is still quite young, but I probably would have started trying to take them somewhere more private at that age.

I always went upstairs to the bathroom, once we were past the newborn stage.

OP please come back and report on this thread once your baby is six months old.

Never have I gone to the bathroom, directed anybody to the bathroom, or seen a friend/ relative go to the bathroom to change a nappy.

Public places are different, but not homes IMO.

Yabu and abit precious.

At home I change my boys butts wherever I can catch them to do it. I grab the nappy, wipes and bags first then the smelly offender.
Being heavily pregnant at the moment I usually hoik them under my arm and into the living room where it's easiest for me. If we have guests either myself or DH will take them into the kitchen and do them there IF ITS A POO as I don't think it's very nice to be honest at their ages. When I have baby in the next few weeks I'll do hers on my knee in the living room. Guests or no guests. Visitors with kids generally do the same. As do we at other people's houses. A nappy just full of wee is different though, we do them in front of guests.

No, I wouldn't ever have put a potty in the living room. I just see it as totally different. With a nappy it was a brief second or so where someone might be exposed to the sight of poo or bum, before it was swiftly covered with a wipe or a cloth, then all wiped away and bundled up and new nappy on. Letting a child use a potty in the living room would necessitate walking through the room with a potty full of pee and/or poo. Just feels different to me. Mind you, I never used a potty anyway, so what would I know!

As for the smell, tbh I've never really found the smell of the nappy change any more awful than the smell of the child with the pooey nappy. Once the child has filled the nappy the damage is done

OP YABU and YANBU! The living room wouldn't bother me so YABU in that respect but the fact that your friend didn't bring appropriate protection for the floor etc is ridiculous. She should've brought some disposable change mats or something to protect your space. One tip for yourself for next time your inconsiderate friend comes to visit - buy a pack of Pampers change mats or if you want something bigger, Pampers and Huggies do disposable mattress protectors for when they are toilet training so they cover a larger space if you preferred to be on the safer side if baby is crawling etc. Can't believe your friend only put a muslin down, that's really really bad form. So next time just whip out the pack of mats and you're sorted (they are waterproof etc).

I'm afraid I'm with the bathroom brigade. ExSIL used to change DNs in our living room and I hated it. When they arrived, I'd always say she could use the bathroom or spare bedroom to change in if needed (along with offering to heat up food/milk etc) but she refused and said we'd understand if we had kids. That's as maybe but we don't and I'd prefer my living room not to stink of shit.

She tried to do a pooey change in a restaurant once mid-meal and we were all until DM told her reasonably forcefully that she would change DN herself in the baby change room rather than let exSIL do it on the floor next to the table where everyone was eating.