To think dirty nappies should be dealt with in the bathroom?

[UsernamesHarderThanBabyNames]

One of my close friends has a lovely baby daughter, around 10 months old, and I'm heavily pregnant with my first. The last two occasions they've visited me at home, the baby has needed a pooey nappy changing. Am I being unreasonable to expect her to do this upstairs in the bathroom rather than on my living room floor, with just a muslin between her dirty arse and my nice rug?! Not only does it stink but the baby is an enthusiastic crawler and flails around trying to escape, pooey bum in the air, while my friend gropes around for wipes etc. I haven't said anything (I now feel like it's too late) but have moved across the room to be further from the stench which has prompted my friend to say "you'll have to get used to this!" to which I've responded "I'm sure it's different when it's your own" even though that's not really the point since I don't plan to change stinky nappies in the living room, especially not when the baby is at an age when they're eating solids! I'm not even particularly houseproud so can't work out if I just don't get it because I'm not a parent yet?

YANBU.

You can easily end up changing in all sorts of places because you have to.

But when visiting someone's house, you ask where is convenient. It needs to be done straight away, but is no so urgent that you can't take the time to ask where and move.

As you say, most of your friends grasp this. Yes, you might have much to find out about living with the reality of an infant, but one of those things is that there is a subset of very selfish people who think that if it's 'for the baby' it must be OK, whatever it is.

Some of those might just be bound up in the very crazy post-natal days (and may have PND). But some of them are just selfish and more loudly/obviously so when trumpeting that what they're doing is always fine.

In someone else's house, even if they also have dc, yanbu. Basic manners.

I always ask where I can change the baby and if they say the bathroom that's fine.

In your own house do as you wish!

In someone elses house I would ask. Then I would ask where their outside bin was. They don't want stinky poo in their house and I don't want it sat in my nappy bag getting riper and riper.

In my own house - ds1 was changed in the bathroom until about 4 months as he would fountain out wee every single time and we had cream carpet downstairs.
As for ds2 - well in our current house the bathroom simply isn't big enough and we have a chronic lack of storage space in there so too many things to easily grabbable for him. I have changing equipment upstairs and down, but prefer downstairs as its a shorter walk to the outside bin for the really smelly ones.
For those mentioning changing tables and stations - isn't it a bit dangerous to change babies who can crawl on them unless they're properly restrained? I used one once for ds1 when he was about 11 months and he just kept trying to escape off the thing. I don't like using the ones in shops even with the straps to be honest, although I will if I don't have a choice.
I don't think you were being unreasonable, she should have used a proper changing mat at the very least!

At home we always changed DD in her room on the changing table as it was where all the supplies were kept. I reckoned that walking up one flight of stairs each time would help with losing baby weight. If friends ever asked where to change baby I would always direct them upstairs. Kitchen/ lounge are not somewhere I want to see dirty bottoms and nappies. But as I rule I'd say do what you like in your own home but always ask in someone else's.

YANBU I don't like it when visitors change dirty nappies in the sitting room. We have had 4 and mostly changed them upstairs in their bedrooms. I think with DC1 we changed some downstairs in the early days.

We've never had a bathroom big enough for changing nappies in though.

Unless I knew the person very well I would ask at someone's house.

I always changed our babies in our living room. Bathrooms have cold hard floors.

Just wondering, those of you who change babies in your own living room, do you still do it if you have visitors round, or do you go elsewhere? I think if I knew it was going to be smelly, I'd take him upstairs so my guests didn't have to experience it! Wondering what others would do.

I use the loo if I'm at someone elses house. I don't consider it appropriate to deal with excrement in front of other people.

In my own house if nobody else is about I change wherever we are on the mat but if people are visiting then I take him to the loo.

I really dont like it. I try to think 'what would mum have made of this?' and if she would have been dubious then I dont do it.

We changed ours in bedrooms on cot top changers and then mats mostly.

What I really dont like is not being asked though and then my living room smelling of toddler poo all day. Bleugh.

Mine are quite old now and have had quite enough of all that.

I am wondering how many people have these big bathrooms that can fit two people, a changing station and accesories and an actual suite! if I changed mine in the bathroom they would probably hit their head on the sink!

the cat if visitors are round they still get changed the same way, though most if not all of my visitors have smelly kids themselves so aren't really bothered and vice versa. Also between three kids I would be trapsing up the stairs umpteen times a day leaving at least one unattended.

In someone else's house where they don't have children, I would change baby in the bathroom.

If they did have children, I would ask where i should change baby, as I would know that they had a place where they changed their own, so me could use that.

In my own home, I change baby wherever I am. I keel a changing bag downstairs and upstairs, with changing mats. In the early days, for a couple of months post EMCS, i changed baby on the dining table to avoid bending and lifting!

Catcup if someone is visiting, if it's a pooey one I would take them to a different room.. But usually the visitor stops me and says don't bother, they don't mind. But I would happily go somewhere else, other childrens shit smells worse! If I'm on my own then anywhere goes...

In a house, I'd always change where there was easy access to a tap. And not in the kitchen! I am think I'm unusual, as most people have a change mat stuffed under\behind the sofa.

At someone else's house I always change is the bathroom or ask what they mind.

In my own house the DC get changed wherever we are. I have a downstairs changing mat and an upstairs one. If you want to traipse upstairs everytime they poo, good luck with that.

When I think of the friends' houses that I ever changed nappies in, I always did it in the living room. And when they were at my house they always did it in my living room. The reason was that we all live in houses with a small downstairs toilet then a family bathroom upstairs. As a result, I'd never been upstairs in any of their houses - had no need to, as living room, kitchen and toilet were downstairs. So I viewed upstairs bathroom as 'private' space and downstairs as 'public'.

Downstairs toilet was too small to change a nappy, so it was always change in the living room, then straight across the hall to wash hands.

Our bathroom is too small for nappy changes, you cannot kneel between the sink, loo and bath!! I changed my 4 anywhere at home, but would always ask where I should change baby if visiting, and wouldn't change a stinky nappy in the lounge (and once weaned they really do stink!).

I had an abdominal op when no 4 was 10 weeks and could barely lift him. Also post birth I wasn't really in a fit state to be running up and down stairs 10 times a day for changes. Op if you are spending 10 hours a day stuck to the sofa feeding baby, you may realise it is not as cut and dried as you think.

Mostly my friends and I tend to use the hall for nappy changes.

YANBU OP. 2 children and I don't think I ever changed one nappy in my living room. I always went up to the changing station in DD's room next to the bathroom. (For the person who asked, in my case the "changing station" was a mat, top and tail bowl and a set of nappies, bags and cotton wool balls on top of an old MFI desk - not unsafe as long as you never step away and leave the baby and much easier on your back). When I was at other people's houses I normally used their bathrooms. So to all the people who say "you'll learn", actually she might well keep the same opinion.

Mind you I think I'm the only woman on MN who used cotton wool balls and water rather than wipes right up to toilet training age so I'm not necessarily representative.

I've never changed a nappy in a bathroom, but I do always ask.

SIL once changed 18mo DN shitty, horribly smelly nappy in my living room without asking, whilst I was eating.

You're not alone I used washable wipes and water all the way until they wiped their own bums with loo roll, even when out, do I win YesThisIsMe?

I'm on the fence. I change my own anywhere at home but with a changing mat (and laminate floors). At friends I tend to use bathroom and wouldn't change on carpet. When I was heavily pregnant with dc3 friend changed her 3 year old poo nappy in sittingroom and I was sick - much different to a babies nappy.

I've been sent to the bathroom before, but always changed my baby on my knee while sat on the toilet lid because I don't want to have to kneel on a bathroom floor.

I had twins. No fucking way was I running up and down the stairs every time there was a poo. Even at 2yo, DTS still poos about 6 times a day (his bowels, man). I had a corner on the kitchen worktop with a foam changing mat and nappies/spares (wag too much worktop in this house, was v separate from food prep area). Then as they got older, a fold up mat on the ikea sofa. Covers washed frequently.

Depending on the friend, I would either crack on wherever I was or ask if they were more fussy/didn't have kids.

Op disappeared.

Don't think the thread turned out how she expected.

Thecat, if I had visitors I would change upstairs - as much for ds's dignity as the visitors sensibilities!