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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dirty nappies should be dealt with in the bathroom?

228 replies

UsernamesHarderThanBabyNames · 05/06/2015 23:49

One of my close friends has a lovely baby daughter, around 10 months old, and I'm heavily pregnant with my first. The last two occasions they've visited me at home, the baby has needed a pooey nappy changing. Am I being unreasonable to expect her to do this upstairs in the bathroom rather than on my living room floor, with just a muslin between her dirty arse and my nice rug?! Not only does it stink but the baby is an enthusiastic crawler and flails around trying to escape, pooey bum in the air, while my friend gropes around for wipes etc. I haven't said anything (I now feel like it's too late) but have moved across the room to be further from the stench which has prompted my friend to say "you'll have to get used to this!" to which I've responded "I'm sure it's different when it's your own" even though that's not really the point since I don't plan to change stinky nappies in the living room, especially not when the baby is at an age when they're eating solids! I'm not even particularly houseproud so can't work out if I just don't get it because I'm not a parent yet?

OP posts:
cheminotte · 06/06/2015 10:12

Yanbu. I used cloth nappies for dc1 and needed to drop poo into the loo anyway. Boys do also like to wee everywhere just as you take the nappy off! With dc2 I did ec (aka early potty training) so had to take him to the toilet anyway.

LastOneDancing · 06/06/2015 10:13

You'd think if the OP was heavily pregnant she would either have use of a changing table or at least a proper mat to offer her friend?

Handsoffmysweets · 06/06/2015 10:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

imwithspud · 06/06/2015 10:20

YABU about changing nappies in the living room. It honestly never occurred to me to go to the bathroom every time to change the kids nappies, we have a box in the living room where we keep nappies, wipes, spare clothes etc.

YANBU about guests assuming they can change nappies in your living room, personally it wouldn't bother me but its polite to ask.

slithytove · 06/06/2015 10:21

In other peoples houses I use wherever they direct me to.
In my house I change wherever I am, unless guests are there or imminent. Then I go up to the kids room and do it there.

raindrops99 · 06/06/2015 10:27

I have 2 DCs and I think it's horrible to change a child's dirty nappy in the presence of other people.

It's unhygenic.

Who would want to have to see it

It only takes a moment to pop out to a bathroom or another room.

I have noticed people who do this not washing there hands afterwards

BarbarianMum · 06/06/2015 10:28

YANBU at all. In my house all nappies are changed in the bathroom. I never changed my own children elsewhere and certainly wouldn't allow others to use the living room floor. If you are round for a chat you can still spare the extra 30 seconds it takes to go upstairs. Toddler doesn't want to - don't care.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/06/2015 10:29

Do people not use Laps these days?

QuiteLikely5 · 06/06/2015 10:30

I think it's respectful to ask.

I don't recommend taking your baby into the bathroom to change his nappy at night. The temperature and light will truly disrupt sleepiness.

PuntasticUsername · 06/06/2015 10:32

YANBU. In someone else's house, I would say "he needs changing - I'll just take him in the bathroom" and the host either says "Fine, you know where it is" or "No problem, change him right there". It's only polite to check what they're happy with, in their house. Don't think it really matters that the OP is soon to have a baby of her own. She doesn't have that baby yet; it IS different when it's your own; and in the beginning you at least get a few months of the much less offensive milk poos to ease you into the horror that is to come...

I would not change in eg the sitting room with only a muslin underneath. Especially for a wiggly older baby. Yuck, yuck, yuck. This is why I have a portable change mat in the nappy bag.

I also think it's bad manners to shove the used nappy in the kitchen bin without asking. Especially if it's pooey. I either ask to put it straight in the outside bin, take it away with me, or if the host says "don't worry, kitchen bin is fine" I at least double-bag a pooey one...

ElviraCondomine · 06/06/2015 10:33

I only ever changed my DC in the bathroom, using running water.

Mintyy · 06/06/2015 10:33

Omg, can't believe my eyes, someone has just casually mentioned changing nappies on the kitchen worktop Shock.

treaclesoda · 06/06/2015 10:35

I honestly can't remember if I asked permission to use the living room or if I just did it because that's what all my friends did.

I changed the dc without a proper changing mat all the time though, and my friends rarely used them either once they were past the newborn peeing everywhere stage. In all my years of nappy changing I never once got poo on the carpet/furniture/towel/whatever happened to be underneath the baby. None of my guests ever did either.

I'm generally quite a polite person, and quite houseproud, but it has never crossed my mind that I should have been offended by a friend changing a nappy in my living room without a changing mat. Or that they would be offended if I did it. I never paid much attention to them though, was usually just glad it wasn't my turn to change a nappy.

YesThisIsMe · 06/06/2015 10:38

Yes you definitely win gobblers because I used standard disposable wipes when out and about.

MooseyMoo · 06/06/2015 10:39

I bought a change table with change mat which was in my pfb's bedroom. I would only change up there (which was good exercise). Then I fell pregnant when she was 9 months old and in 3rd trimester struggled carrying her up stairs to change and when DS arrived there was no way I was going to carry both kids upstairs for nappy changes so got another change mat for downstairs.

If I was out I'd take my change bag and travel change mat and check what room to use to change in. I would never have changed DC on a muslin on a rug. I'd tell my friend to use the change mat upstairs (& have nappy bags and wipes in there for them to use).

I found Waitrose had best nappy bags and Aldi/Lidl for wipes.

You do eventually get used to the smell. Also known as a code 2319 (from monsters inc) or a poonami in our house.

susiedaisy · 06/06/2015 10:41

Yabu to expect people to go upstairs to do a shitty nappy every time

Yanbu to be unhappy that your friend only used a muslin cloth for protection

I agree with others get a cheap changing mat and make her use it.

BarbarianMum · 06/06/2015 10:48

susie why is it unreasonable? They are stairs, not the north face of the Eiger.

CatsRule · 06/06/2015 10:53

shitebag I'm glasweigan too and I've never asked anyone in my house to use the bathroom floor nor I have I in my own home or in anyone elses.

I would usually say his nappy need changing, where I can I do it and people we've been visiting at the time...usually parents or siblings have said anywhere...which we did and they didn't bat an eyelid...including on my sisters dining table Grin mat used and for pee nappy only when ds was weeks old

butterfly133 · 06/06/2015 10:58

YANBU
I think you can behave as you wish in your home but not in someone else's.

I am also astounded by these responses tbh. There are people who always do this in the bathroom, honestly!

BarbarianMum · 06/06/2015 11:05

butterfly yes I really did. Wasn't until discovering mumsnet that I realised it was unusual, either.

Bellebella · 06/06/2015 11:08

It has never even occurred to me to change my ds in the bathroom. He has always had a changing mat and his things in the living room (one level flat). Luckily everyone we visit has had children, or has got young children and none of them use the bathroom to change their babies. A aunt has a changing table but again that's in the living room. Each to their own I guess.

Op if it bothers you, then speak up and direct her to the bathroom.

LarrytheCucumber · 06/06/2015 11:09

I am a Granny and have no objection to changing dirty nappies, but I think a changing mat (even the kind that folds up to go in a bag) is essential to protect the floor. I also tend to take the baby to a different room because people don't really want to see the contents of a nappy.
OP is NBU.

butterfly133 · 06/06/2015 11:14

LarrytheCucumber - I'm curious, as a granny, what do you think of people not taking babies to the bathroom? I do feel as if the generation my parents belong to would not have done it. That said, my friends haven't done it either but I obviously have no way of knowing what they do in their own homes. I'm not particularly house proud though - I just think it's a hygiene thing - but many friends are, so I don't really think they have a mat somewhere discreet in the lounge. I honestly think they just go to the bathroom.

CultureSucksDownWords · 06/06/2015 11:14

It's interesting the horror that seems to be induced about not using the bathroom. How is changing your baby on a changing mat on a living room floor (or table surface eg change station) is less hygienic than changing them on a changing mat in the bathroom?

butterfly133 · 06/06/2015 11:15

^ I mean, I don't know what they do in their own home when I'm not in it!!