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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to contact the police about my neighbor?

241 replies

leanne45 · 03/06/2015 14:59

Basically we had a massive party last weekend ,admittedly it went on later than we'd planned and carried on a bit on sunday ,but it's not like it's everyweekend, it's maybe twice a year at most.

So on monday, my husband was leaving for work and the next door neighbour confronted him about the noise. hubby just told him he needs to get a life and walked past him,because to be honest it's our house and again it's not like it's every weekend.

As he tried to walk past ,the neighbour grabbed him by the throat and basically said anymore noise and he would hurt us. He then saw me later ,came out and called me 'subhuman' and swore at me and went back in the house .Another neighbour he was out in his garden saw this, but said nothing.

Iam not comfortable living here now, and I want to call the police,because Iam worried what he might do.My hubby just says it could make things worse. He doesn't work,or doesn't seem to ,according to some people round here he has mental problems and he goes to the gym everyday, to be honest they way he acted and looks like he is on steriods. Could the police search his house and get him out of there that way? he rents.

OP posts:
FFSletmechangemyname · 03/06/2015 16:00

YABU to have a party without telling him because you don't like the look of him.
YABU to play music until 3am and then again the next day.

He was BU for assaulting your husband.

This reminds me that my neighbour has a party every yr at the beginning of July and because we have small children they let us know in advance and we book a night away in a hotel.
Must book that.

MNHQ
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 03/06/2015 16:00

Afternoon all

We'd like to remind you that we don't allow troll hunting. If you think someone is trolling, report it to MNHQ and we'll take a look.

Please, pleeeeease resist the urge to trollhunt on the boards. If a poster is genuine, they'll probably find it very upsetting and if they are dwelling under a bridge waiting for passing goats, then they will just feed on all the attention.

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Thanks

Icimoi · 03/06/2015 16:00

To be honest I don't want to spend another night here now

But you've coped with Monday and Tuesday night? What's changed?

Tell you what. Go round there now with your DH and a bottle of wine or something, apologise for the party noise and admit your DH was a twunt in his reaction to a fully justified complaint, and ask if you can start over. Problem solved.

TheFairyCaravan · 03/06/2015 16:01

Had he have come round at midnight and asked for the music to be turned down/off, what would you have done?

TwinkieTwinkle · 03/06/2015 16:01

You don't know who he knows? What the fuck is this? Shameless? You and your partner were fucking rude. I'm assuming you've had no other issues with your neighbour, or you would have mentioned them, so what do you think is going to happen?!

BabyMurloc · 03/06/2015 16:01

It is unreasonable to do allof these things:

Threaten your neighbours
Have all night parties with no warning or regard for your neighbours
Be rude to your neighbours when they are upset about your ridiculous noise levels.

Glad I don't live in your street tbh

GGabcd · 03/06/2015 16:02

Oh bullshit. Do people really believe this shit?

CaptainHammer · 03/06/2015 16:02

I have to be up for work at 6am every Sunday, I wouldn't be happy either if my neighbours played loud music until 3am!

MamaDoGood · 03/06/2015 16:03

You deserve everything coming to you, you inconsiderate arsehole.
If you had disturbed me and my children until 3am on Sunday morning you'd get a lot more than called 'subhuman'.
Selfish prat.

OTheHugeManatee · 03/06/2015 16:03

All-weekend noise pollution, flippant insults to anyone who complains, threats of violence, steroid rage...I think you and your neighbour sound about as obnoxious as each other.

I'm glad I don't live in your neighbourhood Hmm

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2015 16:05

Op,ignore the less constructive posts on here.
Talk to your dh,and resolve the situation.
I can understand you're angry,and I'm sure if you consider the situation you can understand why he's angry.
The situation needs to simmer down,not escalate.
Don't call the police.Apologise.
Forget about the perceived rights and wrongs and think about the outcome you want...,which is presumably a peaceful life.

Icimoi · 03/06/2015 16:05

But no amount of noise warrants anyone grabbing anyone by the throat and threatening to hurt them.

See, what you've artistically missed out there, Ilive, is the fact that OP's husband told the neighbour to get a life when he complained about the noise. Yes, it doesn't excuse violence, but it sort of gives the lie to your picture of OP and her husband as innocent little flowers being ganged up on, doesn't it?

Maryz · 03/06/2015 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllThatGlistens · 03/06/2015 16:06

Well... This is all very interesting...

Anyone bring popcorn? Grin

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 03/06/2015 16:06

I have said op was wrong for the party but then so to is grabbing someone by the throat

helenahandbag · 03/06/2015 16:07

His size has absolutely nothing to do with anything, one of my good friends is a body builder and he is a very quiet, polite, introverted computer programmer who wouldn't raise a hand to anyone. He decided to bulk up after spending his teenage years being tormented about his tall, gangly frame. You decided not to warn him about your party due to rumours and your own judgement based on his appearance.

No, he shouldn't have gone for your husband but if I complained about someone's weekend-long party and I was told to get a life than I'd flip my shit too. You sound as bad as each other.

Icimoi · 03/06/2015 16:13

But no amount of noise warrants anyone grabbing anyone by the throat and threatening to hurt them.

See, what you've artistically missed out there, Ilive, is the fact that OP's husband told the neighbour to get a life when he complained about the noise. Yes, it doesn't excuse violence, but it sort of gives the lie to your picture of OP and her husband as innocent little flowers being ganged up on, doesn't it?

snowglobemouse · 03/06/2015 16:14

posting for the deletion message

WhetherOrNot · 03/06/2015 16:17

To be honest I don't want to spend another night here now.

No doubt your neighbour will wave the van goodbye as you go down the road the day you move. If my neighbours had had a party for 1.5 days I would feel the same as him - I just wouldn't have been able to reach your DH's throat as I'm only 5 ft!!!

YouTheCat · 03/06/2015 16:20

Makes me glad my old alchy next door neighbour goes to bed at 8 and the worst we get is the blitz coming through the walls as he watches endless war films.

Anniegetyourgun · 03/06/2015 16:23

The goat is a famous MN trope. Either there was a rumour or someone had joked about there being a rumour that people on benefits from certain ethnic minorities were issued with a free goat at public expense. It is now more or less mandatory for every thread that mentions benefits even in passing to include a goat.

MonstrousRatbag · 03/06/2015 16:26

Whatever happened to putting a note through the door? Or is his letterbox odd and off-putting as well?

This all sounds like one of those 'On the mean streets of Twerpington with the...duh duh DUUUHHHH...Night Cops' type programmes. Which I love, of course. Adding thread to Watchlist.

hotdogsandmustard · 03/06/2015 16:26

YABVU

^ that , just that

ChuffinAda · 03/06/2015 16:27

youthecat sounds like you live next door to my husbands grandfather!

24balloons · 03/06/2015 16:29

I absolutely hate people who play loud music in their garden and disturb everybody's peace. He shouldn't have physically grabbed your husband but you were TOTALLY UNREASONABLE to have been playing music until 3am.

I would wish you harm it you were my neighbours though I'd wouldn't have done what he did